lets_face_reality_later's Xanga

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 21:41:49 GMT

I was foolish... and in a year i will look back at who i am now and believe the same thing still.

That means that i'm growing and learning still i do believe, this is good.

Looking back on who i was, i wish i could have opened my eyes.. i was missing out.

Have you ever felt like you just don't belong somewhere? I have and i do. There are different places that i just don't fit. That is why i need things to change. So, i'll change them. I still feel like God will use me to change the world in some way, but as for now.. i really have no idea how this will come to pass. All i know is that God will show me the way.

I pray for you, all of my friends; past and present.

I am happy that i am with Kristina, most definitely. I don't want that to change. She makes me happy. Her and I get along quite well. I'm looking forward to seeing where God takes us.

Pray long. Pray Hard. just pray.

who knows

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 20:08:18 GMT

so.. i came back to this. I thought i would drop in and leave a little message for.. well, i don't know. myself?

I'm really tired right now, the second day of classes of the 2nd semester of my first year of college done. now... the rest of the semester.

Hopefully i will get used to getting up at 6:30 to go to class at 7 again sometime soon. that would be nice i think.

did i mention that i'm really tired? If not, I am.

I guess i'll leave you now, i was bored and just got done reading part of a commentary on the book of Acts. pretty exciting right? yea, i thought so too.

If you don't know this already, I have a pretty amazing girlfriend.. its nice.

well, to all of you who will read this... or.. just to me rather. have a nice day.

toodles

Friday, November 09, 2007

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 19:14:12 GMT

Its funny how the mere thought of your past can make you hurt so much. Things i have done that i wish never would have happened. Pain caused that could have been avoided completely.

remember that what you do now could effect the people you love tomorrow... or the people you will love who will love you.

I wish more than anything that i could change some of the things i have done. but i can't. everyone knows that. I don't need people telling me that i can't change my past. duh. i would have changed it already if i could have.

what we have to do is forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead. We can't let satan bring us down because we have screwed up. The apostle Paul had a lot to regret. but he did amazing things. I have a lot to regret. and hopefully, through me, God will do amazing things.

I pray now, for my life.. for her life. For the lives of all the people i love. I don't want to forget the importance of the people around me. My life is about relationships. My relationship with Jesus firstly. and everyone else comes after that.

i don't know why i would ever write on my xanga. no one will look at this anymore. no one will see my thoughts. but i don't think it is important for you or anyone else to see what i think.

remember. have fun. be safe. don't do anything that could hurt the people you love. its just not worth it.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 17:41:45 GMT

I hate it when stuff like that happens. i always feel really dumb. but i'll get over it. I don't mean to think about stuff the way i do. it just kinda happens. but i'll deal with it. i can make it all go away. i have control over my mind right?

I have had a headache for three days.. it won't go away. it does at times.. but it comes back.

I am ready to go home tomorrow. I need it more than normal i feel. this weekend will be good. hopefully i will be able to make some money as well. that would be good. i need to be saving money for some stuff.

overall, life is good. which is exciting.

If someone were to tell me i was wrong. I would let them know that they have no idea what they are talking about. I know what i'm doing now. and its a good thing.

Prayer is the best gift you can give someone you love.

Much love

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 18:36:54 GMT

I'm so much different than i was.. it is so weird to know how you have changed. and to actually be able to see it.. and understand why it happened.

Life is wonderful.. its so strange how things work. I quit looking for what i wanted. and i found it. or.. Her rather.

God has done some crazy things in my life.. i'm very thankful.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 20:26:08 GMT

Lucas is... faith, prayer, and love.

the last year of my life was crap.. but i learned more in that year than i had in the whole span of 18 years that i have lived.

my faith has gotten much stronger.. but mostly because it had to.. otherwise. i wouldn't be here today.

prayer.. its how i have to go through the day. it is my life.. it's like breathing. without it i would die.. i would be a mess.

i wasn't looking for love. by any means. this summer i decided to forget looking for it... and it landed right beside me. i even tried to stop it at first.. but somehow.. it still managed to push its way through. I find myself.. in love.

to those of you who read this.. i pray that you will always remember Jesus and what he did for you. you need Him.

Jesus is a must.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 23:05:01 GMT

I am now 18 years old.. i never knew that getting older would take so long, cause so much stress, and make me so tired. But i'm here now, and i continue to wonder where getting older will take me. With each minute of my life i run into change. I am not the biggest fan of change, but i am definitely not scared of it. Not now.. I used to be quite scared of a lot of things. Now I have nothing to fear at all.

I got a new laptop for my b'day this year.. i guess that also goes towards my graduation.. and probably Christmas this year... possibly even my b'day and Christmas for the next couple of years. haha But i don't mind at all. The laptop is cool. but it is just another thing. something that i don't absolutely have to have.. it will just be a nice thing to have with me.

It is funny watching your friends grow up.. or not grow up. Life takes everyone in different directions.. It is interesting to see where people you know will go.. or are going. I have enjoyed watching my friends grow so far... for the most part. there are a few things i would change. but I'm not the one in charge.. God is.. he knows what he is doing.

I don't know what is going to happen to me over the next few years.. where i will go.. what i will see.. who i will meet. I of course want to get married someday. but i don't know who the girl will be. actually... i have no stinkin' clue. but that's okay.. i'll know when i know. I feel that i shouldn't worry about that right now.. i have other things to think about at present.

I do know I love my friends and family.. though i will be leaving most of them soon. I might not see some of them ever again.. how sad? but maybe not... is it really that sad? i don't know. honestly. I have no idea how i feel about that right now. I will make new friends. will i forget the ones i have? no. i can't. i won't. but that doesn't mean i will go out of my way to talk to them ever again. i mean, they wouldn't do that for me. they probably don't care that we are leaving. which is fine. I don't mind. we all have our own way to go. i won't lie to you, it is for the best. there are some people i need to get away from. some people i should have gotten away from a long time ago. but in about a month. that time will be upon me.

I pray that God holds us all in His hands. like i know he does. i just want him to guide each of us down the right path. i don't want my friends to fall.. or to fall away. but some will do one.. some both.

continue to pray for all.. we are all in this together.

lucas

hmm..

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 20:26:51 GMT

I really think it is funny that i still have this... I've spilled my guts many times on this silly thing and i do not believe it really ever gained me anything. Here i am again.. spilling. I am a very blessed person and i realize this more and more with each passing day. I realize that i love my friends more each time i see them and i wish i could be with them always; but I feel that God will soon pull me away from the people that i love the most. I am very scared of the feelings i have. I wish i could share more with those i love. But i find myself being very afraid. Yes, Lucas Hayes.. afraid.

I pray I pray I pray I pray

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 16:24:13 GMT

I pray... quite often about certain things. So far many prayers have been answered. I thank God for that and i look forward to seeing God answer my others.

There really is not much i can share with.... whoever looks at this anymore.

My life is not exciting.. not at the moment

I love you,

lucas

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 21:06:54 GMT

i'm always curious as to what my purpose is... we're all always searching for our place in this divine script that is being played out before our very eyes. Do i turn left.. or right? Do I speed up or slow down? Do i say yes, do i say no? Is she the girl for me? Will i get married? Am i really cut out to be a minister? Will i have kids? How many? Are my present college plans the right ones? Am i totally screwed up in my direction? Am i really doing this for God? Am i going into this with my motives.. or God's glory in mind?

some questions that i ponder occasionally... but life is happening... we will either dive in and grow or hide and be neutral. Everything that happens to us is because of a choice.. not always made by us, but a choice just the same.

I dont know why i am afraid sometimes.. to press on, keep moving.. I worry about things that i shouldnt worry about.. i think about things that definitely wont happen for a long time.. why waste the time? We were all put here for a reason.. why not accept that? Why cant we all just quit worrying about everything? Why do we all look at the negative in our lives and say.. why me? Why do we say no one understands us? God made us.. of course he understands. If we would all quit focusing on the wretched things taking place in our lives.. and worrying about how many people realize we have it bad.. and focus on the blessings and the greatness of God.. maybe we would realize that these small things are nearly futile. Yes, they are happening to us... Yes, they are bad. God sees that.. he counts our tears.. He holds us in his hand.. He longs for our attention. If we would turn to him, give him the glory for what he has done and will do.. We would know.. yes.. WE would KNOW.. why we are here.. We could feel why we are here.. We could SHARE why we are here.. Worship is us. i know.. that doesnt make any sense grammatically.. but what are we? what are we made for? WORSHIP... Worship is us.

much love