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Reasons to become a doctor
- walking
into the hospital plaza, hearing melodic piano playing above ipod’s Billy
Joel. Above both frequencies is a constant beeping sound. Glancing around
the corner – a patient attached to a heart monitor is standing by the baby
grand piano, hand on heart, looking at the piano player – wearing a white
coat with stethoscope around his neck – his doctor
- on the
second floor balcony overlooking the plaza, doctors looking down at the
piano, listening – relaxing from a hard day’s work
- research
library at noon – white coats, scrubs – by the computer researching à
nothing’s hopeless after all
- behind
my table, college student studying for the MCAT à
a continuation of nothing is hopeless
- earlier
in the week, saw a young tree growing in the concrete wall by the high way
- realizing
that understanding theoretical cosmic physics satisfies the dream to
understand what is in front of my eyes, and becoming a doctor incorporates
me in this world of continuous wonder à
shift from seeing the marvelous to living the incredible
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| Long abandoned.
It seems like everytime I write something in here, I have to add that
initial sentence. Maybe it is to apologize and to justify my absence.
Interesting that this time, I quickly chose the word "abandoned"
I think spring is finally here. There is nothing like spring to cheer
up a working person. Now even as I am sitting in the East Asia Reading
Room at Bostock, I can feel the heaviness of the past winter slowly
lifting. I think again, it's the humongous glass windows and the light
coming through. I am almost giddy.
In exactly 52 days, I will be taking the MCAT, of which I have
absolutely no confidence as of now. However, I trust by the end of
spring break, I will return to Duke with a renewed self-assurance. No
matter how difficult this exam is, it is only an exam, and I am
prepared to fight it out. [It makes me laugh that I tend to overuse
militant language when it comes to studying - sometimes I think
subconsciously, I may be a very aggressive person]
After the MCAT, and after finals, I am going to stay in my room and
consecutively watch all the episodes of Grey's and House I am missing.
I'm sure only Chinese can be used here to describe this feeling -- 爽！
我要一所大房子
有很大的落地窗户
阳光洒在地板上
也温暖了我的被子
我要一所大房子
有很多很多的房间
一个房间有最快的网路
一个房间有很多的吉他
一个房间有我漂亮的衣服
一个房间住着朋友和他的爱人
一个房间一个房间
我也不知道该放些什么
我们晚上不睡觉
白天在床上思考
小狗在屋里奔跑
度过完美的一天
度过完美的一天
-- 孙燕姿 《完美的一天》
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| Currently in lab doing my part to educate the "leaders of tomorrow."
Normally, I have a sense of self-worth during lab, as people crowd
around me asking questions. It must be a power-grasping thing...
Today is definitely not one of those days. After getting chalk all over
my black fleece sweater (via a dropped eraser), going through four
different chalks that decided not to write on the blackboard, asking
questions to which no one knew how to answer, and looking back to blank
stares of boredom, I am currently sitting at my designated desk,
screaming authority and power... I ponder: what happened to me -
fatigue? stress? Of course the answer is always a combination. What
better way to compromise. All of a sudden, the "authority" desk feels
so isolated, so conspicuous, as the prospect of learning a month worth
of cell biology material before thursday pops out and decides that now
would be the perfect time to crush me to death. Yes. I am being
melodramatic again. The feeling, however, is unavoidable.
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| I often forget what it is that I'm setting out to accomplish, and
therefore often stray from the correct path, and indulge in the "easy
life" of the well paved roads. Often, in order to get back on the right
path is the hardest thing for me. It is, kowever, about time to do
that. It's cost me more than just an arm and a leg, I'm sure... =)
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