Im The girl that holds All in and Regrets it later...

maybe someday it'll all changed...

but evrything happens for a reason...

nywayz a lot of things happened for the past week... i dont knoe wat to say.. im speechless right now..

nywayz im plannin to write her from the start of tomz..

soo for now on,..

im just..

keeping quiet..

"i HATE this quote or this sentence

Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

it might not be ur friend but any otha chick.. arg! hate this just gets me fuming!!!!!!!"

hmm its been ages again, i should seriously start goen back here again i knoe i keep sayin it but neva happens which is realli sad.. but we got myspace i go der more than here now.. but i love myspace coz u get heaps of comment n yeah its just addictive in otha words,..

nywayz a lot of things happen during the past week, i thought me n my boi wouldnt work things out but it did evntually as otha people says it..

u love more u hurt,.. n get hurt in da process..

nywayz i watched a movie todai it was good, i think its name was the time machine.. i like it very much probly coz how the story line goes.. u can never change da past.. wateva happens happens just need to accept wat happen n move on but havin to move on doesnt mean u have to forget bout evrything or da person that u treasured the most,..

hmm dat realli made me think of how much evryone has been through wit der lives specially losin someone or losin a dear friend or movin to diff. states and still leavin der life wit something.. and dat something depends on each and evryone of us..

its been sooo long that i have written in this journal.. nywayz a lot of things have happen..

ive let down the person i love the most, im soo afraid to talk to him.. im afraid knowin that i hurt him soo badly.. i hope im not over exageratin..

why do we feel this way, do we deserve such things.. is it worth it to be hurt..

is it all worth it to be wit me..?

why cant we find, happeniness which each otha witout havin to be hurt wit each otha, why do we do this things.. i didnt mean to hurt u.. i didnt mean to make u feel dat way.. im soo sorry.. i apologised from the bottom of my heart..

i know ive let u down so many times why do u still choose to be wit me.. im confused,.. im lost,.. lost.. i dont know why,.. i know ive change a lot.. wen eva we argue or wat so eva.. i always try to fix it but why now i cant do that..

im afraid of knowin that i did it again.. as always n expected of me..

i wish i could turn back time n do da rite thing, its hopeless..

i love u, i wanna talk to u, but im scared.. not scared of u but scared of knowin that i hurt u..

Today was interesting i worked early morning as usual,. it was da first time dat i have breaky shift wit this new manager of mine.. he was good but annoying at the same coz he kept telling me to go to drive trhough or go to do hash browns or do this n dat.. it kinda pissed me off.. sooo annoying.. but yeah it was awright.. soo funny coz he wanted me to stay back for another 2 hours but i cant do dat coz i was stuffed as it is.. i was going loooney n stuff.. ruby kept laughing.. but yeah

nywayz got home i played final fantasy 10 for lil while n after dat i just have my shower n after dat i went to go to bed n have my nap-nap.. ^_^ which was good heheheheh!!!.. n now im on the net typing on my xanga n talking to noha which is soo annoying coz i cant understand wat she's saying on msn coz her font is being fucked head.. so yeah but now im talking to her n i can understand wat she's typing lolz.. well i think ill go now coz i have nothing to say..

Sometimes I wish I was dreaming so I wouldn't have to cry,so that way all my tears and my life would be a lie,sometimes I wish to wake up and everything be the way I want it to be,no more hurting for anyone, especially not for u n me,sometimes I wish I could leave, or run away,or edleast change who I was,and who I am today,sometimes I wish that I could fly high like an angel in the sky,and sometimes I even wish that I would die,even though i know my wishes will never come true,I hope edleast yours does,because I'd rather be you.