damn it's been  hot one since I've been in this bad boi... I guess errthing has been A OK... I mean  I still hate my job but I'mma about to get a new one hopefully things are kinda looking down right now but the sun will come out tomorrow... I'm back wit marcus... it's been like two months now.. he better then he was the first time around... I guess... ummm then I've been going back to church which is good... it kinda helps me sort out things.... It's funny how I won't go to church for like a month or so and then the day I decide to go the pastor talks about something that seems like was just for him to say to me... yeah I know some people would say that that just happend to happen but it happens a whole lot i dunno whatever... but yeah The home girl is comeing home from college... Miriam and Cathy are really the only people I go out with I mean they're the only people I trust to have my back when I'm drunk no joke... I know no matter what I won't be left for dead... With JAnet I dunno I really don't drink around her because most of the time I feel like I have to watch her ass you know.... but yeah I can't wait for school to be over even though I going to summer school I can't wait for school to be over... I feel like this is going to be a summer to remember... I think... Damn it's crazy to think about how fast the first year of college went I mean damn... we just graduated a year ago I dunno it feels like yesterday... but I am glad highschool is in the past and now college is the present... for most of us... but yeah I guess that all I got to say.... I can't wait to see errbody when they come home from college

LOVE PEACE AND HAIR GREASE 

STILL DAMN BUSY

It's amazing how my life went from in the house all the time to never in the house at all... Okay so on saturday I was out practically all day... I had to go to work from 11 to 7 and then I went out to eat with demetrius... that was nice... we went to eat at Fuddruckers.... all I ate was some fries and a strawberry shake... the shake was hella good though... but yeah then after that I took him home then I went out with cathy... which was cool... I mean we went to see this dude that is tryin to get at me... but he got on my nerves so we left him then I finally seen Cisil (I think I spelled that wrong) but yeah... I don't know I thouhgt he was going to look a lot better then he did... I mean he was cute but I dunno... everyone at HTH made it seem like he was FINE... I dunno... but yeah we kicked it with him for about a hour... yah who know Cisil can guess what we did... but yeah it was cool though I always like kickin it with the homies... so basically I didn't get home to around 2:30 that night... and that not that late but what made it so bad was I had to be at work at 7:00 that next morning... I had to open... i hate going to work at 12:00 in the afternoon let alone 7:00 in the morning... so then on I wake up the next morning go to work get off at 3:00 and was supposed to go to Cathy's house to eat but was to tired so I went home cleaned my room... which is not normal... then went to sleep ... now tell me why everyone and they mom called me while I was trying to catch up on my ZZZZ's man I was like what do you want... there was only one call that I was waiting for and glad to recieve... but yeah.............. oh yeah and come to find out while I'm sleep demetrius is in the hospital because he fell and hurt his side real bad... yeah but I didn't find that out until like monday.... but yeah life is normal I guess

NEW SUBJECT

I really wish I could being so damn confused... I mean I spend a lot of time and energy thinking about things that shouldn't be that hard to decide on but they are... Like my heart is with one person and my mind is with another person... were going to call them A and B.... I love A but he scares me... He does things that I know if we were together I would be all heated about... and he lies... about dumb shit... shit that I'm just like why... he trying to get back with me right but he continues to do the main thing that broke us up which is lieing ... he'll tell me something right, something he'll be all excited about and want me to be excited about it to but I can't because I don't know whether he's telling the truth or not... Then there's the fact that my family doesn't like him and they prolly never will... I don't know why that is so important to me but it is... I want to be able to walk in a room with him and everyone smile instead of everyone talking under there breathe... maybe that makes me shallow or something but my families opinion matters to me sometimes... I dunno sometimes I want to be with him so bad... acually all the time but then I remember all the embarassment and pain I went through when I was with him and damn I can't go back to that...

ok so then there's person B now he's a good guy... I'm not saying guy A isn't but it's questionable... Guy B knows how to deal with things alot better... I mean he is a real good guy... he goes to school has a job and takes care of business right away... And the fact that my family is cool with him and everyone says his nice and he's a good man and all that stuff doesn't help my confusion... but the thing is that he has issues... like he wants a female that acts like a wife and old school wife... he wants a female that only opinonated sometimes... yah know how much I like to argue and he gets real mad when I argue with him... I'm like then don't say dumb stuff... like he complains about everything... like the prices of things and the weather and the way cars look and the way people drive and the way people park and the way a teacher runs his classroom... Like this morning on the way to school and walking to class he was complaining that a teacher counts being late as an absence... now that is kind of messed up but I was giving him reasons why the teacher might of done that you know... this nigga was like why you always have to argue with me and why this and why that... I was like I'm sorry I do argue a lot... I was basically trying to shut him up and this nigga kept talking.... the whole way to class he kept talking I was pulling out all the good shut up lines and this dude kept damn talking... The worst thing about it is he reminded me of my damn step dad... lord know I hate that man and Guy B really made me want to slap the shit out of him just because he was acting like him... but yeah off that... Guy B is cool mentally but physically like as in passion and a deeper relationship he's not there with me... I dunno maybe because my heart is with someone else but whatever it is I need to figure it out now or things could get even worse then they are now...

man I don't know what to do do I go with my heart or my mind... most would say with your heart but that could have bad ass consequences and I don't know if I'm ready to take those consequences or not... I really need some help on this situation....

BUSY BUSY BUSY

ok so life is coo... I mean I still don't like my job and I really don't know what school I'm going to transfer to but all in all life is ok.... see boys have become or really have become MORE apart of my life at this time... i dunno it like there fun to play with... they keep me entertained... no fa real dudes say some of the most ridiculous stuff sometimes... I know all the females out there know what I'm talking about... but yeah I guess I'm just seeing what out there right know... Valentines was cool... I got a really nice and thoughtful gift from Marcus and I come to realize that even though he's a little weired at times and a little annoying he's will always be my boo... I guess it's the whole first love thing... we've all been through it... I have a really disfunctional relationship with that boy no joke... but you never know one it might be aiight... and as for Demetrius If you know me you know what going down with that...

Changes

I have to say I've changed a lot in the last year like fa real it's been a year... I mean my views on a lot of serious situations have changed a whole lot Janet knows what I'm talking about... but yeah I'm pretty sure college has a little to do with it but yeah... man I don't know I'm acually kind of glad I was kept on lock down in highschool cuz now that I'm not I'm kind of bad... but on the other hand that might be the reason why I'm bad... I wouldn't call it bad but just a little worse then I used to be... damn the last year has been straight crazy... the whole marcus situation which is still going.... the whole parent trust deal... I mean I've even changed... I went from little innocent liz to shhhhh don't tell nobody.... I don't what to do with myself... Dang thinking back and looking in my old journal I'm a whole different person ... the people who know me the most know that.... but enough about me I think I'm done for right now... I wanna go read about other peoples business.... LOVE PEACE AND CHICKEN GREASE

LIFE IS LIFE

so basically I'm going through it right about now I mean... I'm makeing way to many bills for my self... crazy.... and oh you know how I said I liked my job well fuck that I hate my job.... no joke at first I liked it because of all the people that worked but half the tyte people either left or got fired I mean damn that job is way to stressful for the amount of money that we get paid.. no fa real I mean damn I really don't get paid enough.... but lif is life and I guss i just have to deal with it.... and being a broke college student is no joke... I'm so broke right now.... lets see I have 35 cents in my pocket I teke that back 33 cents damn It's horrible.... but yeah on to the next subject.... I really never have nothing to talk about on this thing.... ummmmmmm.... I never thought that I would still be writting in this after high school but I guess i still am.... but i really don't have to much more to say.... love peace and hair grease