ok ok. i know i haven't been returning calls or making them. i know i haven't been keeping my word at keeping in touch for the past two weeks. well... i've just been a bit...busy. ya there you go. truthfully i haven't been in my room a lot. i haven't slept in my own room for the past five nights. ummm. it's nothing bad!! well except maybe a few several time. still. haha. last night i had thought i made up my mind of just not playing this game anymore. i don't want to be dragged along when i know it's not going to amount into anything. then again this is the kind of thing i'd rather have. i mean it's not going to be serious. we're not an exclusive couple. i mean he could just up and walk away from all of this. that's what scares me. now more than ever i feel so vulnerable. so i guess rei should be happy. things are so fucked up. i guess all that bull about me being happy. all this time i'm just selfish. i thought i was worth something. then sean starts talking about how there must be some truth to it. i guess you just say you want me to be happy but you just put me down the next. i don't care. i let you go when you wanted to after i was trying so hard not to. now you just come back and want me back. then you decide well i'm just being selfish again. rei fuck it. i have my life. if you don't want me in yours ok then. i can move on. i guess it was all a lie.

off subject now. i'm hungry. i keep eating sean's poptarts. then again he keeps feeding me things i don't care for. haha. he says i like weird things. anyways. i'm not going to english today. i think i'll just go thursday. maybe. i just want to search for my breakfast. yumm. should i actually drag my ass to the campus center? food or stay in my room? hmmm. bye! haha. i'm gonna get food!