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lilbogen
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Name: lilbogen
Interests: being creative at times.... learning more about the Lord...reading my bible and other books....singing in the car... pictures... popping my GUM! (sorry if that annoys some)
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  lilbogen17@hotmail.com
Member Since:
3/19/2007
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| my gateway...I use this as my vent..
I don't know if thats right or not
I think I should use my journal... but it doesn't help when it's about 57 miles away from you.. now does it?
I have desires in my heart... and I have goals for myself... I want to be lead by the Lord. I just feel as though My desires take me away. That I want it so bad that I almost force myself to make things happen.
Interesting huh?
What do I do personally?
Stand by while nothing happens.... or take a Jump.. a HUGE risk and opening my mouth?
Saying something could end all hopes... but wouldn't that be a good thing? Why should I be hoping in something that in reality would then never happen?
I probably sound much like a broken record.
I find myself getting over a lot of things... but this never seems to go away. Now I put feeling back into it. Was that smart? or was that STUPID?
I guess... things will HAVE to change in the near future. I'm going to have to move on and maybe the light bulb will come on.
"If you just realized... what I just realized... Then we would be.." | | |
| America the Great!I'm back! What a great adventure that was!! I can't believe it's already over. I'm falling into one of those states where I almost forget everything that God ever taught me on that trip! | | |
| Proverbs 19:21Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.
This is my verse for the day!
Ok lets be real/...My life!!
I need to let go and give it to God. I really believe I am doing better then before!
I do have desires in my heart but I have given them to God. I am still following him and not allowing my desires to direct where I go! I think I have proven that a little by going to East Asia.. did I not?
This is going to be a great summer! The Lord is really going to work and I'm so excited that I have somewhat of an idea of what may happen!!
Thank the Lord I am not doing this by myself. I just have to be steadfast and patient on the Lord!!
How can i drill this into my head!!??
Don't pull back... don't pull back.... (repetition!?)
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| day 1 of the challengeok so tonight we had a social... CEO and Corporate Hoes party.. don't get caught up in the name. Anyways.. So after CRU i decided not to go to calvary but i would try out with social.
It was pretty fun.. i got to see a lot of my brother out and about.
I walk in and immediately was asked how CRU was.. and I said it was amazing like always.
Later.. one of my brothers asked if i remembered when i use to party.. and asked me what happened to me.
Later.. the same brother asked why I disappeared for a whole year.. not wanting to hang out at all!
Another brother asked me about East Asia.. which was hard because I wanted to tell them i was going on a missions trip.. but i wasn't able to.
It was amazing how many people realized i was putting up a wall between me and then. I use to think that God put me in this fraternity for a reason and that this would be a huge party of my ministry! I am now not even wanting to associate myself with them. How sad is that? I'm not even letting them see Christ in me. I'm not sharing with them.. or talking with them about what the Lord is doing in my life. What kind of ministry is that?
I need to spend more time with them. I realized I'm not giving God enough Credit. I have also assumed i would be going to these parties by myself and i'm not strong enough to be around alcohol. God is always with me and has given me more strength then i could ever have asked for! He's the one that will work in me to say no to every drink that comes my way! Why do i have to worry. I have to realize that i'm not there to party but to share with people.. to relate to people... but not become a drunk again... or a person who drinks.
There is surely a fine line between outreaching to people.. and become them... apart of who they are.
I have no many things in my life that build me in my faith. I now need an outlet to share that with people who may not know! I don't want to be selfish. Right now i beleive i am strong in my faith!
Tonight was a good night!!
Next homework.. to find out what Buddhism is all about!!
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| challenge!So last night I was really challenged in my faith.
I don't talk to people about the Lord... I don't go out with the intent to share the gospel with people, even though I know that Hell is awaiting them and they have no idea!
What Am I doing!??? I find myself worried about all the get togethers i have and a good point was made. When we are all hanging out... what is talked about!? Is God the center of it? Mostly likely not!! What is with that? We are suppose to bring people into the kingdom and not shun them.. we are suppose to be building eachother up in Christ not tearing them down.. or saying where they are with Christ is ok. We always should be challenging people. Don't get me wrong.. I am the first to admit that I am wrong. I need to be sharing my faith Getting caught up with Church things and not focusing on the real reason why I am doing what I do! I need to remember that Christ is my focus and that I would not be where I am if it weren't for him That I should be on my knees everyday for the souls that don't know Christ. That I should be broken before the Cross!
I have to love on people... we have to break down the walls of Christianity! I know I have build up so many towards my old way of life!! How do i break something like that down! I'm guessing by prayer. I want to be open to talk to other people about Christ.
I pray that I would be broken and open and have the gospel on my lips at all times! That I would speak truth and life and love into peoples lives! That the Lord would use me and I would no longer pass up opportunities to talk to people about God!!
If i truly believed in what Hell was and the consequences of sin... why would I stand by and watch my "best Freinds" go down!?? If i truley loved them i would be on my face before the Lord... asking and searching for opportunities to share with them.. instead of keeping it all to myself! What a great friend!
Things that i feel... i feel that i should give up thursday nights at calvary unless i have people to bring with me.. I need to start bringing people to CRU with me... I need to start sharing my faith and not giving people phony excuses for me not doing things. i always say i have something to do... instead of saying I have Prayer or Discipleship! I really don't know. It just scares me that i'm this comfortable and I'm not even bold!!
Don't be comfortable... you should be telling at least one person a day about the Lord..
This is my challenge for myself!!
I love it
Keep me accountable!
I pray the Lord would open doors... windows.... anything!
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