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| this sucksi dont think ive ever hated myself this much...i made my mom feel like a bad person and now she's really mad at me...i am such a horrible person and such a bad daughter....and my mom said im not allowed to leave the house...not even to go buy a gift for my dad for fathers day which is tomorrow....i havent been able to stop crying all morning sinc emy mom has been getting mad at me....and this time it all started because i missed 6 on my permit test(which is still passing) and she HAS to say well I got a PERFECT score on MY permit test....why dont u read the question i bet u i still know the answers and when i told her i didnt want to cuz i felt like she as trying to prove that she was trying to prove that i didnt deserve it she says she thought it would be fun to see if she still remembered it cuz its been soooo many years....
i dunno i say crap i should just keep to myself...cuz everytime i tell her how im actually feeling she gets mad and i get stuck in my house crying my eyes out and she tells me not to cry and to stop being a baby and that im crying for no reason or that im trying to make her feel bad....i suck at life
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| continued so he just called me and we had a interesting convo ver y serious yet relaxed i dont want to go into wat it was about but lets just say im confused and im not sure how to take it or wat to do about it......ahhhh someone help me please.....and on top of it i found out that one of my friends doesnt want me to be around her bf cuz apparently we flirt and hes my best friend and couselor...so this sorta sucks
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| more boy stuffSo it seems lately that i want these guys to like me so much, that i long for a close relationship with them, one where i could just be comfortable with them, and be in a caring relationship where nothing more than holding hands, hugging and talking were needed...and i know of guy or two that like me...and one i still have feelings for but i dont want to date him for the reason that i cant emotionally or time wise...i really dont know why i keep liking these guys when i am the one limiting myself and saying i wont date anyone...i used to have my mom's rules to hid behind but now that il be 16 in 3 days ill be aloud to date, all at my choices... why am i saying no....and i was thinking about it...one of the guys ive liked for a while now...is now very interested in one of my close friends and since me and him are close he was telling me about it and asking me for advice...and telling me all the wonderful things he thought about her...and i started thinking...why cant he think this way about me and what have i been doing wrong? but than i started thinking...if he did like me and i knew wat would i do...cuz then he would like me and i him...but i wouldnt want the relationship...WHY...is it because im too scared of commitment...too scared of getting my heart broken...me thinking im not good enough for these guys...i dont want to be the one to hurt the guy...no matter how scared i am of heart break id rather it be me than some one else... i have so many mixed emotions about guys right now and where i wanna take things that....i know im scared of a relationship but i have to be in one eventually...but i dont know how
Where does God want me...what does He want me to do...where is He leading me in this new realm?
It seemed like i had everything figured out for a while but now im just majorly confused again
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| even more confusionif anyone can help me please do...im open to advice...
how can a guy shower u with completements beyond all reason
yet tell u he wants to get over you
and still he flirts with you and tells you you're gorgeous every chance he gets
i dont know where to go on this one
cuz i dont want a relationship right now
because of stress and school etc
i would have to time to dedicate to a relationship
therefore it would most likely fail
and end with two heart broken people
yet i really dont want to see him with another girl
especially when i know this girl will break him heart into a million pieces within a matter of weeks, ive seen her do it to other guys(one being one of my friends)
and i would treat him better than any other girl out there
i hate this feeling...i dont know where to go from here
i guess my only choice(and BEST choice) is to give it all up to Him and let His plan be revealed and worked out
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| ahhhhIm uberly confused....i dont know wat to do!
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