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Currently Reading The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade By Ann Fessler see related

Thoughts on The Girls who Went Away

I just finished reading a book called The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades before Roe v. Wade  by Ann Fessler.

This book really made me think about how people in general, myself included, see adoption as this excellent option. Regardless of one's stance on abortion, people often think, well, she can just give the baby up for adoption, the baby will have a better life and the girl can move on.

But these women "birth mothers", as they are called, were just ruined by being forced (through society's judgments, parents etc.) to give away their  children. They had a life time of grief, entering into abusive relationships, having a hard time parenting other children, being in any sort of relationship etc. This was a huge loss, a grief from with they never recovered. And a loss that society does not let them talk about because they "did the right thing" and gave the baby a "better" life. I guess this helps me better understand the teenage mothers today who choose to keep their children. Adoption isn't just this simple answer, solution with no consequences.

It always affirms my views on the importance of Roe V Wade. In the time before this important decision, 40 percent of mothers died while getting a back-room abortion.  One woman who was forced to give away her baby for adoption, and a decade later had an abortion, said she would rather have an abortion any day than have to go through the life long trauma of having a baby for 9 months, and having her taken away from her for a lifetime. It's important that women have options available to them.

I still think adoption is a wonderful idea, but for mothers who honestly have made the personal decision, free from outside pressure and judgement, to give their child away.

So, anyway, you should read the book, the author herself was adopted and searching for her birth mother, and the book is filled with personal stories from different women.

I am here today to make a public service announcement. This is why women should get an annual checkup--that means every year ladies despite how unpleasant the visit is.

So I had my annual checkup and the doctor found a lump in my breast. She wanted tests done even though breast cancer in young women is rare. But one in eight women have breast cancer in their lifetime. So I went to Betty Ford Breast Care Center and got an ultrasound. That was scary because you are just waiting in the dark ultrasound room for your diagnosis...cancer or not? The radiologist told me it was a noncancerous growth and I didn't need further testing.

But my doctor disagreed so I had to go to a surgeon who would do an ultrasound, and decide if I needed a needle biopsy or to get it removed. It was an old guy touching my boobs and that was scary in itself. But the good news is that he decided it did not need to be removed, just watched. So I have to go back in 6 months for another ultrasound.

So that is why you women need to get an annual checkup.

So I thought I would amuse you all with the tale of how I got injured in a freak accident at Target.

So we have this lovely heavy "Target Visa Trophy" that is passed from person to person when they get a Target visa. So Friday, I get a Target visa. I have my back turned as I am cashiering.

Well, someone working there brings the trophy to me, and I don't see it and she accidently hits my elbow. No big deal, but here comes the freak part of the accident.

She accidently either hits a pressure point or a nerve, and I black out for a second. By now I am on the floor in my lane trying not to throw up and black out for good because the pain in my arm is so intense. I literally cannot straighten my curled fingers because my entire arm has gone completely numb.

So here I am crying, trying to get off the floor so my poor guest isn't standing there looking bewildered, but I can't move my arm, so they let me go on break.

Well, an hour later I still can't feel half my palm and two fingers so they make me call some hotline with a nurse who, strangly enough, has a thick British accent.

So I go home, pack it in ice, and by morning I regain the feeling in my hand but I can't bend my elbow without pain, so I then spend 30 minutes filing out an incident report.

So to make a long story short, I got a Target visa and return had my left arm temporarily paralyzed by a....trophy!