well its been a few days since i wrote my blogs..

to start off.. let see.. been a fun weekend.. met some new friends which is good.. and they're all flight attendants.. lol.. its cools.. man i remember when i got rejected from air canada.. stupid bitches.. ah wells.. insearch of a new job is still in the progress.. i guess back to retail for me.. until i find something better.. need to go job hunting.... its hard since i have a big load to carry with my debts.. but there's nothing i can do..

feel kinda sick today.. and depressed.. but whatever.. i'll be fine.. i wish i could just start a new life somewhere else.. sent an email to the school in vancouver.. the culinary school. hope to hear something from them.. and maybe i'll move there and goto school and get away for a while.. and just concentrate on school and work to pay bills and shit.. nothing else i can really do.. but i dont know if my parents would be too happy about this .. since i've tried before to goto school in San Fran.... but then again its still in Canada. lol.. we'll see when they send me something back...

well. love life.. sucks.. still single, but i'll just live with it.. i suppose.. maybe its better to be single and be happy for once and less drama.. then agian .. less drama? who am i kidding.. all the haters out there. i dont know.. i doubt that will happen.. i wish i could just start fresh, but even when i try to prove my points and that i am changing.. people dont believe it.. cuz i guess i really have a bad history.. but i'm trying.. so fcuk off you biatches~..

well.. hrmm.. nothing else really. just been staying at home.. trying not to spend anything.. and i dont have much money left until i find a job.. man.. anyone know any job openings?.. 

here i am ... staying up late again.. 3am.. mindless...

well.. first off.. i have no job.. slowly losing what i got.. so i gotta look again for one now.. which sucks.. hate lookin. but hey need a job to pay bills and all..

as i just sit here listeing to music.. i think about.. what am i suppose to do with my life.. i dont know.. really dont know... the one that i like... is so far.. can't stop thinking about you.... but it seems like your drifting away from my life also.. everything is.. its all a vivid memory now.. nothing i can do.. it really bites..

tomorrow, which is today.. friend's bday.. i guess ill just drink my ass off.. that might help.. but then again dont want to make a fool out of myself.. and for sure i dont want to break down and cry infront of everyone.. but im strong .. ill try my best.. the song.. tamia- smile.. its a good song..

i dont know anymore.. it sucks... blah.. whatever...

well its another day of a boredom...

wake up early goto work then come home after work.. man.. is this how life is suppose to be for me?.. even though i gota be lookin for another job since i'll be losing mine soon.. then after once i get that job.. im gonna look for a 2nd job.. if i can fit it in.. a 3rd?.. maybe i'm just going crazy.. blah. whatever.. life sucks.. i guess i wasn't the one.. im not the one for a lot of things that i assumed i would be.. many things out there.. im never right or whatever.. argh.. maybe i should just disappear for a while.. or maybe not? AHHHhh.. i dont know anymore.. la la la.. maybe i should just go back to HK .. and forget about everything in the past.. even though it will still be there.. it will never go away.. *hides*.. well.. no prince.. no love.. no life.. i've got nothing.. but hey i'm a survivor i can do this.. some how.. i'll get through this.. but one thing i dont get is.. i'm willin to give up a lot.. just be with a someone.. or to succeed in life.. it never seems to go well.. or just comes back worse in my face.. who knows.. whatever.... 

so exhausted...

recap..

sat -

it Chase's bday.. so we all went to this jap rest. called Masi.. i think that's its called or whatever.. it was alrights.. then afterwards, we all went to a lesbian club..it was alrights.. man drank 1 drink and 2 shots.. i felt nothing.. compared to LA.. man toronto is weak shit LOl.. ah wells.. its alrights.. and bought Chase a drink and his friend one too.. man i think i spent 70 bux in one night.. need to save... then i met up with other friends since they were driving me home.. thanks Fatima.. hee hee.. well i didn't sleep til like 5am..

sun -

woke up a few hours later.. going to this Asian Food Expo.. man was it crappy .. then again i was like 2hours late.. stupid york region transit.. hate it.. wish i either lived downtown or somewhere else.. well i won a bag a rice playing this spin the wheel thingy.. and kalsen, janice, and akane won nothing but a plate, a pair of chopsticks and kleenex.. LOL.. funny shit.. i gave my bag of rice to Akane, since she lives on her own and just moved here recently to goto York University.. also i didn't need it anyways.. fun.. then just went str8 home

opps.. forgot add this.. sorry thomas.. well basically afterwards from the expo.. i subway and went all the way to Thomas's place.. man was it far. LOL.. then i got off at the wrong stop but whatever.. when i finally arrived.. i see angie and thomas putting chairs together.. so thomas wanted to stay and help so i drove felix home. even though i dotn got a license or whatever HAHaha.. but it was cools.. then finally dropped him off and went back.. Thomas and I had to meet up with Mich and Joe.. man i haven't seen them in ages.. miss ya Mich~~.. hee hee.. its funny how me and Mich always get together and make Thomas jealous or someshit.. HAhahA.. but its was good ol' times.... miss those days..

mon -

third day in a row that i was late for work.. man once summer is over.. everyone decides to drive their stupid cars.. i used to  be able to work on time when i leave at 7:30am.. now i can't .. cuz then i will get there arond 9:30am.. ugh.. pisses me off.. i was so tired for work and all.. then went straight home... i dont know when i was walking off the bus towards home.. i started to tear... argh.. depress young fellow i am.. blah..

tues -

hate my work.. need a new job!!.. looking of course.. what a boring day at work.. well first was moving shit around that i've done before.. so annoying.. and now my back hurts.. blah.. whatever... then i was updating stupid cue cards for the retired fiiles and all.. man does it suck.. well i was on msn most of the day.. hopefully my boss doesn't know.. even though she can check.. then after work i decided to go out for a bit.. just went to a starbucks for a little while and started to walked around.. now im home.. dead tired. have a headache.. and i dont know.. i guess too much is on my mind..

Spice Girls: Time Goes By

i've never had a feeling so right
like i have with you
can't explain the things you do
but boy when you tell me softly you love me too

it's like i know we were meant to be
so for eternity you will have a part of me
and all i need is for you to stay right here with me yeah

time goes by but we stand still know it does i know it does
love you for eternity i will i will
i know that we were meant to be we were meant to be my love
that's how i feel when you're with me

you are the reason that my heart beats
i know i never thought i would ever fall so deep
but now i see that the love that we share
is oh so sweet

what if i told you that i believe believe
that you are my soul my destiny my destiny yeah
what if i was to say in every way
deep in my heart is where you'll be time

time goes by but we stand still i'm still right here
love you for eternity i will i'll never go
i know that we were meant to be we were meant to be
that's how i feel when you're with me how i feel when you're with me

time goes by but we stand still oh time oh time
love you for eternity i will eternity i will
i know that we were meant to be we were meant baby love
that's how i feel when you're with me

as you hold me close so tenderly
and watch you fall to sleep
i see in you the one who now completes you the one
the half of me i used to be i used to be

time goes by but we stand still yeah
love you for eternity i will eternity i will
i know that we were meant to be were meant to be
that's how i feel when you're with me feel when you're with me baby

time goes by but we stand still but we always stand still babe
love you for eternity i will stand still babe and i know
i know that we were meant to be yes we were
that's how i feel when you're with me

time goes by but we stand still
love you forever yes i will
i know we're meant to be
that's how i feel baby