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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| cold shower diariesit's weird that you never realize that u love til you've lost. why are we so emotionally stupid?
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| where have all the gentleman gone?i woke up today with what health professionals medically term "head trauma". the unpleasant sensation of throbbing skull pain woke me. i turned in my sheets to check the time on my alarm clock when my already-tender jaw hit the bed frame. FREAK. and then the realization of the day before came back to me.
yesterday we played football with another christian organization. In the process of scoring another lazy TD, a boy from the opposite team literally ran me over. this would be typical if we were playing a contact sport but seeing how we were playing a friendly game of FLAG football, this was plainly stupid. I don't remember much expect the boy-idiot crashing into my face and me flying backwards. My lifelong training in soccer has taught me that getting mauled on the field is expected, but getting hit the face is a new experience for me. I was down for a bit due to the shocking initial pain, but I eventually got up and everyone was mad about how unapologetic the idiot was. After listening to our pastor's sermon Sunday morning about being Christ to people, I tried to apply what I had learned, just blowing off what he did, but waking up on the wrong side of my jaw this morning made me feel very unchristian emotions. After pulling myself from the ground, I remember looking into his face for an apology, and I was surprised to see a smiling face staring back at me. did he think it was funny to knock over a girl? you hit a girl. congratulations. you are very impressive and manly. it's moments like these that I feel the tension of Jesus' teachings. To love, to forgive idiots, to be responsible for your words and actions, to do things that go against our sinful wants and needs. Like kicking a field goal with his you-know-whats.
as of late, i feel like i play sports just to experience the pain. Another ridiculous situation was when we played soccer and i was defending this guy who was blazing downfield with the ball and before i knew it i was flat on my back. this again. ugh. the guy apologized with "i don't usually play with people that small." like i said before, i'm familiar with getting banged up in sports considering that I've broken both my ankles and underwent surgery for ripping my ACL. So, i don't take too much offense for getting hurt as much as I do for ungentlemanly behavior after the fact. this reminds me of some sage advice about sizing up guys as potential mates. how a guy plays sports is a true reflection of character. The wise lady supported her theory with anecdotal evidence so at the time i didn't think much of it. now i'm thinking she's a genius.
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| TRUTHFUL POETRY?cleaning out my closet i found some random poetry... I asked God for strength and he gave me difficulties to make me strong. I asked God for wisdom and he gave me problems to solve. I asked God for prosperity and he gave me brain and brawn to work. I asked God for courage and he gave me danger to overcome. I asked God for love and he gave me troubled people to help. I asked God for favors and he gave me opportunities. I received nothing I wanted and I received everything I needed. ***I scribbled this down on some high school calculus notes and I forgot to write the author. I wonder if I should be careful what I wish for since it gives a whole new spin on "ask and you shall receive". The big guy upstairs is a tricky guy... | | |
| PDA kills peoplemy near-death experience:
yesterday i was walking to school and almost got run over by a car. It's a common occurrence at UT since all the drivers are impatient and pedestrians walk whenever and wherever they want. Being road-kill is not a big deal, but this time i wanted to rearrange someone's face. As I was leaping out of the way, I caught a glimpse of the driver and the passenger MAKING OUT WHILE THE CAR WAS IN MOTION. I saw the driver, a male idiot, pull up to the curb & drop off his face-sucking friend on campus. Disgusted and ready to kill someone, I came to the conclusion that not only does drinking and driving kill people, PDA while driving can have fatal consequences.
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| TreadmillIt's a defense mechanism to run away but since it's not socially
acceptable to run from problems, i settle for running on the treadmill.
The hocuspocus magic of endorphins flood my system after i hit that 2
mile mark. It's nice. Instead of running away from life, i'm skipping
along.
As I run, I think on the teachings from bible study: creation versus
evolution. Genesis: In the beginning, God spoke omnipotent words and
things came to be. He saw that it was all G-double-O-D good. Well it
was til the FALL. My wise pastor's wife illuminates to the fact that
although evolution promotes the idea that our world is improving via
natural selection & other mechanisms of action, creationism
supports our decline ever since Adam and Eve messed up. We don't live
as long; people are dying of cancer & fast-food diets; we are
an immoral nation with pretenses of a moral compass although our lives
are contaminated with sex, politics, and substance abuse
problems....etc. Same old stuff we read on CNN.com.
Small group is dense so my thoughts are still willy-nilly at the
moment. What I believe is God's truth is truth. So I feel I should
support these creation scientists bc they're trying to support the
Bible by using science, but I'm hesitant about their desultory logic.
The AnswersinGenesis videos we watch make some thoughtful ideas, but
coming from a scientific background, my critical eye sees some blatant
holes in their arguments and many many biases. Last week at sg was a
harrowing experience bc they used some scientific evidence to support
their argument while failing to mention other scientific facts that
would prove their point of view invalid & insignificant.
Human beings definitely don't have a monopoly on truth, but we should
appraise as much as our little brains do know instead of omitting stuff
that's not consistent with what we want to believe. I don't mean to be
a negative, anti-everything person if i come off that way. really, my
opinion of this topic is pending...
One thing I do agree upon is that humanity has not realized a crescendo
of improvements, but rather a great accumulation or stagnancy of crap.
When God appeared in the Garden of Eden and accused Adam of eating
fruit from the tree, what was Adam's response??? He blamed the woman
instead of being a man and taking responsibility for his actions.
There's hot debate who's at fault, but since God cursed both of them it
seems that BOTH were responsible. Eve was given to Adam as a GOOD gift
to benefit him since all things God had made were good, but Adam's
words reflected how ungrateful he was for the GOOD gift: "The WOMAN YOU
PUT HERE WITH ME--SHE GAVE ME SOME FRUIT FROM THE TREE, AND I ATE IT."
What a pansy! He didn't put up a fight when she gave him the fruit and
then he blames her for doing so. This unmanly behavior of not owning up
to responsibility, blame-shifting, and ingratitude is still evident
today (but unfortunately it's not just a guy thing). things have not
changed.
Apparently, we neglect alot of good things God gives us...like
deodorant. Showering should be a regular habit, like a metronome. I
admit I'm more like a broken metronome, but I don't smell. So I'm still
running on the treadmill, happily watching jeopardy on the flat screen
tvs at gregory and my peaceful time is abruptly disturbed by a hypnotic
awful stench coming from the guy on the elliptical machine next to me.
I'm screaming inside my skull. Such a violent reaction to this very
aromatic oniony smell commingled with something that's dying with
accents of halitosis. I am bleary-eyed and at times I go momentarily
spacey but I persevere through my workout. I force myself to face this
enemy who does not value God's gift of cologne, soap, or proper
hygiene. Jesus calls us to be uncritical in love so I pray for my enemy
as I'm suppressing vomit: "Father forgive him, for he knows not how he
smells." Yes, it seems we are not improved at all.
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