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| Why hello there my little xanga sight, my memories written for the public eye, and, I guess a giant hello if anyone ever stumbles upon my site anymore. I visited my site today for the first time in months. I blame a couple things: no internet at home, becoming the guidance councelor at school, summer vacation, Paris, and, of course, the new boyfriend. New? I guess not new anymore.
This might be a good buy. Just a little one. To you, my site. To you, my distraction. And, to you, my never met before readers.
Maybe one day I'll be back if internet magically appears at my house.
-Lil'red
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| Friday the13? What does that mean to me. . .?
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| "I don't paint anymore" Alli states bluntly to her fiancé in The Notebook, after waltzing into his office, her redshoes mirorring her passion that she longs to rediscover. Ever feel like that? Ever feel like there is something you love that you just don't invest in anymore? It is crummy when someone else distracts you away from a lifelong love of painting, or whatever painting represents in your life, but is it even more detremental hen you have taken it away from yourself? What have I lost due to my own laziness, business, or complacenciness (if that is a word?)
Sometimes when remenising about days when I would write the beginning chapters of novels about anything from pirates to earthquakes, or draw for hours in my sketchbook that I hid in my third drawer, I imagine that I could just start it up again as quickly as it appeared to vanish from my being. Then, unlike Allie I don't, or at least not with the same enthusiasm I once did. I don't sprint back to the past as redily as she does.
What new things am I starting to enjoy? What new adventurous things am I developing a passion for?
We have many lives curled into our eighty or ninety years on this planet. I do want to paint. And draw. And read. And bike. And write.
And be.
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| Running around and needing the weekend. Two weeks off for spring break and still I feel spent.
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| There are few things better than birthdays -- a day where most friends call, a few with "so when are we going to hang out" attitudes, a few with "I want to tell you everything about my life" tones, and a few with The Song.
I am one who sings The Song to people on their birthday. And, if they are lucky, they get it the day before their birthday as well ("happy almost birthday to yoooooouuu. Happy almost birthday to YOUUUUU! . . .etc.)
Yesterday, after having left the Song Before the Song on her answering machine, I call to sing the real song to her. I mean, it was March 2nd, her birthday. We've been great friends since grade 5. That adds up to a lot of previous songs sung to her on such occasions. The only problem with this year, with the message I left her on her machine, was that her birthday is May 2nd.
Stress. I blame stress.
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