i made my new yrs resolution jus now.

less tv, more music
sign up with 24, less junk food
God first, not myself
follow my dreams, no waiting
find a new job or get paid more
be myself, not to impress
train dog, get another dog
remodel my bathroom and room
learn a new talent
study more (i still dont think i belong it school)
forgive wrongdoings from people, but never asociating with them (btw mostly people i trust)
enjoy my life (not someone elses)
be honest, not being nice (niceness is evil)
being a better christian, not a slacker
enjoy life and be myself

yep thats my resolution, i think the hardest thing to do will be being a better christian and distanting myself from those who no longer hav my trust but that i loved. other than that i jus cant be lazy. in other words, i cant bullshit and sit on my ass no more.

Fallen

Heaven Bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I tried my best
But somewhere long the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
But the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so

We all begin out with good intent
When love is raw and young
We believe that we can change ourselves
The past can be undone
But we carry on our back the burdens time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
I've held so dear

Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so

Heaven bend to take my hand
I've nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to these I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
That it's one wrong step one slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem away to be redeemed

Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so

this is only way to express my sadness im still suffering 

i need my anti drug which is my addiction guess wut that is? it drowns out everything in my life, it increases depression, make ppl more like machines, and it makes u a different person those are some hints.

if i was 10 yrs old rite now i would have about 8 girlfriends at KUMON. yep im hot stuff if i was 10 rite now hahah. kumon is suppose to be work but i barely do any. all i do is sit talk to lil kids about school music games jus kid stuff and grade work for 5 hrs and i dont even finish my load of work. work is fun, the pay is crappy.

i want more money, more money means more fish, more toys, more things to buy. i was thinking about getting a job at a japanese bistro rite across the street from work. i would take it if i wasnt going school. too much stuff to do so lil time.

i basically hav 3 days of school left not including final and i hav so much stuff to do. im so busy i dont hav time to socialize as much as i use to so crappy

o yeah i saw this really adorable gift i will give randomly so be aware whoever gets it

so... whats new?