|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| Day 441 - A reminder
 |  |
My mom sent me an email on Friday with a baby photo of me. No comments. Just a photo. I used Photobooth to try to recreate the same pose in my adult state, and I sent it back to her. She replied back saying that the baby photo was one of her favorites, and it was taken after my dad had just given me a bath. She also told me that she loved my eyes so much, and that I hadn't changed at all.
I look at both of these photos, and I realized that she's right. A lot of me has not changed at all. I think my eyes have, though!
The past few months have been intense, and sometimes I still feel like I'm a baby, caught in the glare of a photographer's flash, dumbfounded as to how to react, except through tears from fears. I feel like I'm still only allowing life to happen, instead of forcing my own changes. Granted, this is merely a gross generalization of what's been happening, but there is that desire for simplicity.
As much as I love the complexities of adulthood, sometimes it's just a bitch.
| | | |
| Day 341 - A new neighbor
 | I saw a flash of black in my closet as I was building my IKEA furniture the other day. At first, I thought it was just a blur in my vision, which I've noticed as I've aged, but as I went over to investigate I saw this small furry ball dart in between my suitcase, and another bag of items. Clearly it was scared that I've intruded upon its hiding space, and as cute as it was... I'm not ready to have a roommate right now.
I debated on what I should do. Should I use the Raid? I'm not sure if it's approved for rodents. Maybe I'll just capture it. So by using the plastic case that came with my sheet set (I am sort of a packrat), I predicted the movements of the mouse and laid my trap.
BAM! [scoop]
It was a cute little bugger, perhaps only a few weeks old. I laid him down while I ate my noodles, debating what to do with it. This reminds me of the plastic prison that Magneto was trapped in in X2. While this mouse possessed no uncanny powers, I simply couldn't keep it.
So out came the can of Raid....
Just kidding! Luckily, I live a block away from one of the largest parks (3rd largest, in fact) in Queens. After finishing my noodles, I packed up my little prisoner in my backpack, and let nature take her cruel and effective ways.
|
| | |
| Day 309 - Memories
Bertold Brecht - Memory of Marie A
One day in blue-moon September,
Silent under a plum tree,
I held her, my silent pale love
in my arms like a fair and lovely dream.
Above us in the summer skies,
Was a cloud that caught my eye.
It was so white and high up,
and when I looked up, it was no longer there.
And since that moment, many a September
Came sailing in, then floated down the stream.
No doubt the plum trees were cut down for timber
And if you ask what happened to my dream
I shall reply: I cannot now remember
Though what you have in mind I surely know.
And yet her face: I really don't recall it.
I just recall I kissed long ago
Even the kiss would have been long forgotten
If that white cloud had not been in the sky.
I know the cloud, and shall know it forever,
It was pure white and, oh, so very high.
Perhaps the plum trees still are there and blooming.
Perhaps that woman has six children too.
But that white cloud bloomed only for a moment:
When I looked up, it vanished in the blue.
The Lives of Others, and an Eric Bentley translation
|
| | |
| Day 295 - I almost died
The thought registered in my mind, and yet there was still a one second delay before I recognized what had happened.
Driving back from Long Island is one of those things I both look forward to and despise at the same time. The drive itself lasts nearly an hour without traffic and at least an hour with traffic with delays in Hicksville and New Hyde Park road. The parkway was built from 1931 to 1965 along with the other parkways that run horizontally across Long Island, but I bet you Robert Moses never planned for the amount of traffic that would traverse the roads on a daily basis. Some on-ramps and off-ramps are a mere couple hundred of feet while the average speed is clearly over 55 miles per hour, so the congestion that occurs is devastating at peak rush hours. Despite braving the madness when I head to and from the office, I like the drive home because when I see the scant apartment highrises that dominate the skyline as I cross into Queens county, I'm reassured that I'm going home towards New York City.
It was approaching nine o'clock as I sped past the Cross Island Parkway. A long day at work, grocery shopping, and stopping at the mall to pick up a pair of pants drained me, and I still had to cook dinner before I could crawl into bed. Laundry? Save it for tomorrow. Gym? Save it for tomorrow. Another Day was blasting from my stereo as I approached the curve, and I saw the annoyingly glaring red brake lights of a couple of cars ahead of me.
...another time - another place
our temperature would climb
there'd be a long embrace
we'd do another dance
it'd be another play
looking for romance
come back another day
another day...
I gently hovered above my brake pedal, hoping that I wouldn't have to use it, but as I got closer to the cars ahead of me, I realized that they were standing still, and I was fast in motion.
*KRRARRRRARRRRCCCCCCCCCKKKKK*
Well, not really.
It was more like...
"oh shit!"
I punched down on my brakes, and I felt every micro-second that passed by between my foot and the approaching tail lights ahead of me. Luckily there weren't even skid marks, as there was just enough space for me to pop up right behind the car in front. As we slowly inched forward, I saw the ripped-off bumper of a Nissan in the center lane and the splash of gasoline and/or other engine fluids glistening under the yellow-orange street lights. I swerved to the right and was the second car out of the accident scene. Three cars total. One had the front of his car smashed in. Another-- driver side front was concave. The Nissan-- looked like a mega-shark bit the rear of the car off.
I pulled forward and the scene behind me receded from the reflection of my rearview mirror. The radio that seemed to have faded into silence for the previous thirty seconds suddenly seemed loud again. I could feel the veins near my temples beat to the tempo of the music as the adrenaline slowly exited through my bloodstream.
...I can't control
my destiny
I trust my soul
my only goal
is just - to be
there's only now
there's only here
give in to love
or live in fear
no other path
no other way
no day but today
no day but today
| | | |
| Day 230 - Sundays
While watching Happy Together on a Sunday night, I reached the scene when Lai Yiu-Fai, played by a really cute Tony Leung, called his father to try to reconnect with him. At that moment, I also thought about my own father and the fleeting five-minute conversations we usually have over the phone every other week. I paused, looked up at the clock, and picked up the phone to call him. It's only 10:30pm on a Sunday-- he should be in Boston, on a brief trip for work.
Me: Hi Dad
Dad: Hey!
Me: How's it going?
Dad: I'm at a bar, with some friends. Can we talk some other time?
Me: Ok, g'night.
Dad: *click*
| | | |
|
