woooooowwww....im a beast...this is a place where i can toot my own horn and not be deemed cocky..im not cocky....im confident...i mean as far as confidence...where i am now totally beats where i was in say like junior year...like damn...i think it has a lot to do with lacrosse, maybe the earring...but i think more than anything, newfound attention from the opposites. also its crazy....i realized this year every female that i've pursued, i've conquested..not all of them a sexual conquest, but i've gotten what i needed at the time in one form or another...2 of them amazingly hot girls that i never wouldve attempted..but i was thrown hints..and bam..there it is...might sound dickhead-ish, but hey certain situations i've experienced with girl have made me a lot more cautious, a lot less sensitive, and i think a whole lot more selfish...selfish meaning, i look out for my emotional well-being by not giving too much too soon...like dave chappelle has the 3 daves thing...if i were to look back at the Benjamin of a few months ago..i might laugh at how much of a trick i was...putting a lot into something that wasn't as sure as i wanted it to be...then i realized it wasn't me, withdrew from the situation and went back to beasting...which leads me to my next possible attempts... both girls are very very attractive, both are interested but one girl is hot in a pretty sort of way, the other is hot in a sexy kind of way and damn she has an accent...when she says my name i wanna die..so with both im thinking..yeah i could see her as my girl...but with one more than the other im thinking...wow, i'd knock her down somethin wicked..whatever, they'll expose themselves..true colors..express interest or disinterest...and then i'll have it...or maybe i could make both happen...im feelin greedy these days...

this thing isn't that useless when you actually feel like typing

b.jamin