Lin, you do not have to change per se, just "adjust."  I understand about being too nice.  You learn eventually who you can be yourself with & who you can be "yourself" with.

i guess i am naive...i like to be myself, period.  it's a shame but i feel as a protective mechanism i must just toughen up and get it together.

thanks for stopping by frank!!! have a great day.

Hello Lin!

"rarely say no to people even when i'm supremely uncomfortable" 

Hey you said no when me & Steve invited you out to go bowling with us right.  You've already shown at least to me that you can stand up for yourself just fine Lin. You're a genuine good friend/person Lin... that's the reason why I like/respect you so much.

Have a great weekend Lin!

Sean:)

wow that's standing up for myself? besides, um i don't know you guys and didn't even take it seriously?  but thanks for the compliments...oh wait i'm super mean now..shutcher piehole and make me a sammich? how was that?

Rarely say no?

Okay. Test One.

You have a big fight the next day and Masato asks you out for dinner the night before. You accept? :P

Girls are such doodie heads for manipulating boys and the rules. The Rules are.....its Dinner the night before The Fight. There is no afterwards because he is flying away the next day to a match in another country....do ya say 'No' or 'Yes', doodie head? :P

PS. And this Fight is THE most important fight in your career......muahahahhahahhaha....

i would fight.  it's just a dinner date w/ a crush.  my career affects my future. i would of course make the sacrifice for my mate or my family.  besides i would wreck my reputation if i bailed on a committment.  sheesh we train so hard for these things can't take them lightly.

now wot you got?

Ding! Ding! End of Round One.

Okay, you passed that with flying colours! I am proud of you! Now lets see how mean you have become....

Round Two...

A workmate takes all the credit for the work that both you and him have done jointy. This means he gets to be promoted above you and you won't. Whereas if you told the truth, it won't really affect your promotion prospects. And he is a real doodie head to boot. What do you do?

OMG! Masato is just a CRUSH?!?!?!!? MUAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH! Are you really SURE?????!?!? :P

i wouldn't say anything i would worry that my boss would think i was not smart enough to do the job or worse that i was a trouble making snitch.

*sigh* masato is just a crush my friend.  veritable eye treat if you will. 

how are you doing? hopefully well!

But if this doodie head knows he can get away with this as an equal, what do you think he will do as your superior? And he may be promoted above his abilities and is not doing him, you or the company a favour. If you are assertive, people will respect you more.....I don't think here it's being a snitch....it's him unjustifiably taking advantage of you....

I guess little bullies are entitled to eye candy! :P Have you not met him yet? How far would you go to try?

I am feeling OK. Taking time off work at the moment but freezing my butt of here - I can't wait for spring and then summer!