little_bully's Xanga

Friday, March 26, 2004

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 10:47:37 GMT

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to get the news to you.~twain

tgif! it's friday. yay! only 1 more day of work! another packed weekend for me. the highlight should be tomorrow's poker party though, woohoo! in another week or so i start another hectic travel schedule. next year i am going to slow down by about 40% wonder what i'll do with myself then? hmmm it's sort of driving me to work harder to make the most of this year if you will.

i'm going to take up a new sport next year. i'm doing some of the prep work for it already, we'll see how it goes. it's kind of exciting to think i'll be taking up a brand new challenge, since sadly there are not many opportunities left for me in my current sport. my heart will always belong to my first pro/am sport i got many many intangeable, downright invaluable things from it. i'm pretty luck all my whining aside.

i have to laugh at my company sometimes, incredibly ridiculous. do you ever think to yourself; "how the heck did this company get this far with all these stupid policies?" i do all the time. yesterday was for sure one of those days. i wrote a letter to a client, and asked my assistant to stamp my signature on them. well she lost the stamp and didn't bother to tell me. great my boss says "um well you'll have to hand sign them" he was indeed serious so since they were time sensitive and had to go out yesterday i was lucky to sign 1/2 of them only shy of 800 haha! yes i am sooo lucky. of course my obvious suggestion was to quickly redo the letter so instead a mail merge type document: dear miss susie r. client it would have read dear client and we could just outsource to have a signed one scanned and then printed that way the middle cheese said no no no far too expensive since it's "your" fault. side note: we have offices in the *ahem best places* i get to go to baltimore again for about a week. *shudder* fortunately i have a friend in fredericksburg, va which isn't a bad drive and she has the cutest wee ones!!! i have an "aunt" living in mineral, va but i won't be making it up there this trip either. i want to maybe stay and get to know d.c. better. i was there for like 12 hours 2 weeks ago so i made a laundry list of things to see/do. i've managed to stay out of cleveland! but i think chicago is coming up soon. *note to self find a job with travel to moorea or somewhere like that.

i decided to put down the fitness/nutrition books this weekend and do some light reading. i miss reading for the sheer pleasure of reading! this is all inspired by the big cheese telling me i was silly for dancing in my office last week. told me to be a kid! have some fun!

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Tue, 23 Mar 2004 13:28:05 GMT

so in light of the changes going on around me, i've decided to re-double my fitness efforts. that's always a good thing to do when troubled focus on some self improvement.

i'm sad because i now have a contractual obligation that will prevent me from going to bkk after my trip to japan. ratserfratserrotten obligations and sense of duty. blah. i think i am going to try and get home for a month before i move. would do wonders since i think my family may move to oz.

have a great day!

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Wed, 17 Mar 2004 16:22:36 GMT

nice girls finish last! i think i'm hanging up the nice girl gloves. i've got a tough nature but i think in general i'm fairly nice often to my detriment. i rarely say no to people even when i'm supremely uncomfortable. well i think i may have it my threshold. time for a bit of change. my brother is always on my case about it because he loves me and wants what's best and unfortunately watches me clam up when there's fall out. no mas. i actually have a plan of attack now. not that i want to turn into a witch or anything but for chrissakes i'm old enough now that i can stick up for myself or at least protect myself.

a daunting task but finally a game plan.

have a great day!

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Tue, 16 Mar 2004 12:38:54 GMT

the weather has been spectacular lately. record breaking heat for this time of year which is typically gloomy in fact last year it rained 30 days in a row. having said all that i have spring fever like none other! good tunes in my cute cd player. mind on being ANYWHERE ELSE.

also waxing nostalgic for days gone by...missing some things in my life recently and having them pointed out by my "concerned" friends is tough. i had dinner with my best friend yesterday for her birthday and was reminded of how bad it is that i hadn't seen her really since christmas day and we live 2 blocks apart. yah i felt awful about that. we had a great time catching up and stuff it's amazing that i've been friends with her for 15 years, my dad knew her mom in hk. holy cow.

i need to work less. i have decided that i will finish out the next 11 months working at this pace and then hopefully cut back! i hope i hope. i hope that then i can make some changes. i reassessed my short term goals and decided that win lose or draw so to speak this is a benchmark year. i was amazed at the decision i made. at any rate one of the decisions i made is to pack up and move next year. anyone who knows me will understand how crazy that is.

for some reason i haven't told my friends yet. i wonder why i can't bring myself to do it. maybe i worry that a few of them will try and talk me out of it. i defo could be influenced to stay. so maybe that's it. my mom is my primary concern. i will miss her terribly. i think she is going to come w/ shortly after though.

maybe mostly because they'll worry. i am the biggest sucker ever. in fact an "all day sucker" is an accurate way to describe me. i am incredibly naive and just can't help it. i don't know why i never see the handwriting on the wall but i NEVER do. i am a sucker for the old i'm sorry. i used to be a bit tougher but i have really really mellowed and just leave it be. interesting. wonder when i went soft? is it my attempt at compromise? if so it isn't working this way either. got a lot to think about.

have a great day!

Thursday, March 11, 2004

Thu, 11 Mar 2004 13:07:24 GMT

i am alive and working myself quite a bit these days. holy cow i logged 70 hours this week alone and it's just thursday but at least i am not travelling now for about a month or so! i will see my mom tomorrow for the first time in over a week! shameful since her office is about 6 blocks from mine!

have a great day!

*edit people should honour their committments!! grrrrr

Friday, February 27, 2004

Fri, 27 Feb 2004 11:28:05 GMT

judgement: (sweeping generalisation alert) why do people find it satisfying/rewarding/necessary to foist their opinions on other people. i am by nature shy and tend to mind my own business. i rarely as in almost NEVER discuss my politics, religion or moral ideals with people let alone strangers. i find those things intensely personal and feel it leads to unnecessary conflict. sure a healthy debate is fine i can even appreciate them, i just don't like to participate in them. i don't feel the need to justify my viewpoint nor do i want "you" to agree or even see my side of things. whether you respect my opinion is irrelevant to me. i bring this up because i recently got "called out" for being a stupid contributor on a forum where i particpate.

my views on forum boards is quite simple really, they are a silly outlet for me. my life is quite serious and stressful (to me) therefore i am looking for a creative outlet whilst i spend my 8 hours nearly chained to my phone with clients before i go hit my 2nd and 3rd jobs. i also feel that forums are PUBLIC therefor it's my choice to participate in them or not how i see fit. as long as i don't do anything illegal i should be as everyone else should be allowed to do so.

*rant off* have a great weekend!

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Tue, 24 Feb 2004 11:29:49 GMT

well i survived nyc. i cannot party like a rock star. good thing i don't drink or anything. i was so tired that when i came into work yesterday my boss took one look at me and said see you tomorrow. so lucky about that.

so the girl i cornered for in nyc got smashed it was really quite sad she was so devastated. the problem is really that she doesn't have a dedicated and consistent trainer. hence her asking a former opponent to corner for her. the girl she fought was a two trick pony at best. now having said that if i get my tushie handed to me after i match up i guess i will have to pour myself a great big tall glass of shut up juice! but the thing is, this girl is good very good and in theory she should have crushed the local girl.

she started immediately sobbing in the ring and putting her head down to which i had to tell her to get her head up, nothing to feel shame for. she fought hard and didn't give up. just didn't go her way, it happens to everyone. besides she lost the fight no need to give up her pride too. it's hard because there is no right thing to say. i hope she rebounds from this and comes back gangbusters!

i proceeded to get less than 3 hours sleep for every night i was there. holy cow! i am lucky though that i have awesome friends out there who took great care of me and showed me a GRRRRRREAT TIME. now back to the salt mines though. eeps.

i just realised that i will spend most of may outside the u.s. and will not be on a true vacation! i must slow down soon. my mommie says i must stop and smell the roses. i am moving to fast and won't ever get "caught" how cute! i don't however think moving too fast has anything to do with it. i'm just not catchy and she doesn't understand it because she's biased. hahah gotta love that mommie!

have a great day!

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Wed, 18 Feb 2004 13:01:27 GMT

so i am off to nyc now. i feel like i'm spending very little time at home these days! eeeps! it's good and it's bad, i love to travel but i have a ton on my plate right now. since i was gone for 4.5 days last week and now going to be gone for 3.5 days this week, i feel like i am neglecting my own stuff. last week was day job stuff in lousy b'more but this week is me working the corner for a former opponent. i'm quite honored that because i put the only two losses on her record she looks up to me for help (why i don't know) but on the other hand i have so much to do right now and my own upcoming fight to prepare for! so it's not the best timing. but again i have a difficult time saying no.

oh and big howdy rowdies to my only two readers! eurasian_david and pakli70 you boys are the coolest!

david-i demand that you have a GREAT time with your family

pak-i demand you go work out

how was that for bossy!

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Tue, 17 Feb 2004 10:01:34 GMT

Friday, February 13, 2004

Fri, 13 Feb 2004 21:53:20 GMT

my brother says i'm very very naive and a good girl kind of to my own detriment. he says that it gets in the way of loads of things in my life. to some degree that's probably very true. i often fail to go after things in my personal life for fear that i don't actually deserve them. how harmful is that to me i wonder? how many things could i have missed out on.

he says i put the needs of others ahead of my own far too often and don't pipe up when something upsets me or hurts me i spend far too much time internalising things. i'm famous for just letting things go. for example i worked my tushie off for an event recently only to be told that i didn't do a good job and be berated for not being able to do it all. while i realise that we are all under some pressure, it's often helpful to be constructive when you analyse post project. this however was not really that type of discussion. my brother says i attract that type of "abuse" because i tolerate it. an interesting viewpoint. i must think about that at some length.

have a great day! be kind to people.