My trip to Florida

 Sorry for not updating for so long.  Here's the update you asked for.  Yes, Thomas got back and it’s like we are constantly together.  It’s really nice that he cares so much and wants to be with me, meet all my friends and do things with me.  Then there is the old me who loved time to herself and I never have that anymore.  I have work, school, family and friends.  He comes to work in the morning sometimes to bring me a hot chocolate or something before I walk in the door.  Other times he comes for my breaks or takes me to lunch.  When I go to school and I have a long break in between he will show up with dinner for me or just to bring me something to drink and sit with me for a while.  Seriously I see him more than I see family and friends. I can't help but smile though when he walks in the door or comes walking up the pathway.  He is so adorable.  I don’t mind it, but sometimes I get to thinking about it and it freaks me out.  He talks about marriage an awful lot, I finally let him give me the label fiancé but told him he would have to wait a year or two for me to finalize it.  The whole idea of giving myself totally to one person still freaks me out after everything I went through.  It was easier the first time because I didn’t really understand what all marriage takes from you.  It’s like your identity is now shared with someone else.  You really give up a big part of yourself.  Two people that should be working on bigger goals together.  Most people know I like to do things on my own.  Then there is this whole planning another wedding.  I really dread it because I hate big weddings.  My ex’s family went and invited so many freaking people.  His dad’s side had a lot of people attend, his mother tried to out do his father, and then there was my side with only a handful of people.  Most of my friends showed up for the reception but not for the wedding.  A lot of them didn’t like him and thought it wouldn’t last so they didn’t come.  I found it really funny the drama that his mother and step-mother made of the whole thing by calling my mom and telling her about family fights with siblings and then the step-mother wanting my mom to go ahead and invite them all anyway and it wasn’t even her family.  Then the two different wedding showers held by both of his moms.  The mother didn’t invite her own family just her in-laws and didn’t send invites to anyone in my family, just told my mom bring who she wanted to.  So the step mom had another one and invited my entire family and friends and all the other mothers family that were not invited to the first.  After everything ended they blamed my mom for the big wedding. Seriously she had to pay for it people and we couldn't even have it in our own small church, she had to rent a bigger one.  I swear I do not want to go through any drama with another big wedding.  I told Thomas it would be small.  He wanted something a little bigger, but he knows I am sitting my foot down on this one.  Thomas has a very nice and close connected family so I don’t see a lot of drama coming from them.  His real father is in Maine and still respects his mother.  His mother lets his father’s brother come to Florida for visits with her family.  Thomas wants to be a part of the whole planning.  In fact he is already talking about what he wants like colors and tuxes.  He is already saving too because I told him my parents already paid for one wedding and I don’t want them to pay entirely for the next one.  We almost bought an engagement ring last week, but I would really like to wait until at least September that would be the one year mark.  He gets so impatient and doesn’t know what I’m waiting for.  He has even been looking at houses.  Really scary, I think after what happened with the last one maybe we should start off with an apartment for a year and see how things work.  We did have a really nice time in Florida.  Two weeks with just him and I. We rented a car and he showed me all around Florida and had so many things planned.  I basically wore a bathing suit all the time, just put my hair up in a pony tail and went without make up.  At least he loves me that way. We did do a few things with his family and an uncle from his father’s side from Maine.  His mom likes me and said he was lucky to have me but will be luckier if he can keep me.  She agrees with me, he is immature and needs to give me more time.  I did get him to pay off all his credit card bills and start a savings.  He has a problem with impulse buying though, boys and their video games.  We also had a bit of a problem with exes trying to come back.  He calls me a lot.  I told him I have to get more sleep but he tries keeping me out as late as possible and then calls as soon as he drops me off.  He sends cute little videos of what his day consist of and love text all throughout the day. Most of my friends and co-workers think he is the perfect guy.  People I am not a mushy romantic.  Like many other boyfriends he has jealousy issues.  He is a lot calmer but I wonder if that is why he tries to buy me so many things.  Everyone knows I can’t be bought.  I do love how he keeps the psychos at bay, especially at the clubs. Over all I think he is really great but sometimes it seems he tries too hard.  I don’t want another suck up that will change as soon as the ring is on my finger.  I want to know the real Thomas now.  Sometimes I wish he would just relax and enjoy the time we have together instead of getting all caught up about wanting to get married.  Isn’t it enough I said I would, just not right now.  I think that has been the problem with most of my boyfriends they all got caught up in the future and wanted to press for marriage when all I wanted to do was chill and spend more time getting to know them.  I would like to be better prepared by having a higher paying job I love to do before kids come along and house payments start.  I want him to enjoy being young and doing the things young guys do before he ties himself down with a wife and kids.  I don’t want either one of us to regret we got married too soon.  I never want to feel like that again.  Here are some of the pics from Florida.  Hope you all enjoy them. I have more on my Myspace and his mom took so many more that I am waiting on.  She kept getting shots of us kissing.  I was surrounded by him, his three brothers and the rest of the family.  I felt like the new toy everyone wanted to play with, lol.