livingjpg's Xanga

A Minor Pun

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 21:51:55 GMT

My uncle shared this with me, and I thought it too good to keep to myself. So, enjoy!

From the Lewiston Tribune, 30 June 2008

A C, an E-flat and a G walk into a bar. The bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve minors here.” So the E-flat leaves and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished.

Then, an F comes into the bar and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom, saying, “Excuse me. I’ll just be a second.”

An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.

Eventually, the C sobers up and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D’s without coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and it is decided that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

A poem

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 21:32:05 GMT

Use this one the next time you want to "Eenie meenie minie moe" something:

Inka blinka submarina
When I think about Salina,
Can't ignore the choice she made
To be in more small town parades,
And if I find her car again,
I wouldn't mind to count to ten
When folks at four-way stops subside
And then no more no one decides
To be the first to navigate
Into the worst determined fate.
Endure it rough: the stares aplenty,
Time enough to drink a Veinti.
All that said, we now will axe
From us one head: these are the facts.

The Genesee Parade

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 21:14:34 GMT

Happy Flag Day!!

I now live in Genesee, Idaho, and today is Genesee Day. This is the day when all the people come out for the big parade! I had to miss it (shame on me!), but it was a great opportunity for Flori to experience our American parades in a small way. There are other bigger parades for her to see in the future, but today had enough new experiences for her. She positioned herself next to Steve and Ellen. You don't have to know who they are, just keep that in mind.

There were classic cars, as there are in almost every parade, and from what Flori says, Steve knew what every one of them was. Not just, "Ford," "Chevy," we're talking "1957 Chevy Bel Air," and so on.

At some point, the tractors drove by. One of them was being driven by a child. I have no idea how they get such an act by the police, maybe if all the squad cars in the area are in the parade, but from what she says, there weren't any police cars in the parade. Anyway, said act of a child driving a tractor simply drove Ellen up the wall. It sounds like she pretty much had a conniption fit, as I expect just about every mother should or at least would.

Flori also mentioned there were some bagpipers. She said they were wearing their skirts. I told her they were called "kilts," and her response was something like, "whatever they're called, those guys were wearing skirts!" ....Which just plain cracked me up.

And here I go...

Tue, 06 May 2008 20:55:41 GMT

A combination of moving from one town to another, visiting Guatemala, bringing Flori to the States, visiting my family, and trying to get internet service in the apartment where I'm living now have left me internet-less for a time. I hope you don't mind. By the time I have the internet in my home again, I will be married. Rejoice with me! I called the Nez Perce County courthouse today to schedule a time to have a Justice of the Peace marry Flori and me. Mark your calendars, the date we get married will be Wednesday, May 14, at 11:00 AM. Of course, that's not the big ceremony to which everyone is invited. That is yet to be determined, but hopefully, that will be late June, or some time in July.

I'll post again when I'm married! Bye for now!

A fresh look

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 09:53:46 GMT

How long has the war been going on in Iraq? I forget. Five years now? Yeah, that's pretty close. How many fatalities (on the U.S. side)? Roughly 4000 now.

Think about this, though: in 2006 alone, there were over 13,400 fatalities in crashes resulting from drunk driving. I can't find the statistics for the 2007 year. Those are probably still being compiled. In 2005, that number was higher. In 2004, higher still. Since the Iraq war began, there have been over 60,000 such fatalities. Our soldiers in Iraq are there knowing that they may give their lives. They're there voluntarily. How many people voluntarily give their lives for a drunk driver?

I hope that gives you a different perspective on what our troops are doing.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:49:49 GMT

My grandmother Gladys Matagne passed away at 3:30 in the afternoon yesterday. My Mom just called me half an hour ago and told me the news. We don't know yet when or where the funeral will be. She was 90. The last time I saw her was at a small birthday party for my Mom in February. My grandmother went to the hospital on Saturday after falling down and breaking a leg. The doctor said he didn't want to anesthetize her, because they might lose her while she was under. I guess it turns out they didn't have to worry about either. My Mom was there when Gladys passed away. I would appreciate your prayers for my family. We're doing well, but it's always nice to know people are praying for you. I remember praying a week or two ago that when her time came, she would be ready, and she would go quickly. So my heart is at peace.

Going "quickly" reminds me of a joke...
When I go, I want to go like my grandpa: peacefully in my sleep, not screaming like the passengers in his car.

Taking the next step

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 10:32:34 GMT

I have now bought plane tickets for myself for a trip to Guatemala and for Flori to come to the United States. I will be in Guatemala from Friday, May 9 to Monday, May 12. I know, it's an awfully short period, but it's long enough for Flori to plan a get together for her family, so those who haven't met me can, and everyone can say farewell (for now) to her.

No further details about our coming plans have yet been nailed down. I figured buying plane tickets was enough to consider when I go and when she comes to be defined. So now you know. People, mark it on your calendars and on your maps! Flori is arriving in the U.S. early in the morning of May 13, and her port of entry will be Los Angeles.

Thank you for your continued prayers covering the flights to and from Guatemala. As you may already know, a number of flights everywhere have been delayed or canceled altogether due to maintenance problems. I know the Lord has His hand on us, and as we leave all of our plans in His hands, "a thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand, but it shall not come nigh thee."

La visa

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 09:15:54 GMT

Thanks, everyone, for praying.

Flori sent me an email yesterday detailing what happened at the embassy. This is my translation of what she said:
*************
Thanks to God for all he did in this day.

Today was a day very long and tiring.
I went very early [to the embassy] because I had to have a number to enter the embassy, and for the interview. After waiting an hour and a half to deliver the papers, they gave me another paper and told me to leave and return in two and a half hours for the interview. Patience.

At 3:30, they attended to me and told me the visa has been authorized, and that I would have to return tomorrow again in the afternoon to receive my passport back and the authorization of the visa.
Yes again, more money for this: tomorrow, I need to pay 1020.00 Q ($135) for the visa. I believe this is the only fee.
All of this is in the hands of the Lord.
Great! I'm very happy for the authorization of the visa, and to be with you, my love.

*************

Now I will field questions...

"When is she coming?"

That I don't know yet. There are so many variables to consider at this time. Just continue to pray for us, for the Lord's wisdom. I will tell you right now that the earliest she can possibly come would be the beginning of May. I have so much going on in the month of April that I couldn't even begin to prepare for bringing her until late April. I have also asked Flori to question embassy personnel as to the maximum time allowed between receiving the visa and entering the U.S.

"How is she coming?"

I plan to visit Guatemala again myself so that she can have a personal escort when we return. This is a big reason I cannot do anything about bringing her here until late April. As is my tradition when visiting Guatemala, I plan to load a couple trunks with as much as I can give away. This time, however, I don't think I will be returning with empty trunks.

"When will you two get married?"

Another question I cannot answer with certainty or in much detail, as there are so many things to consider. Most likely, shortly after entering the U.S. While you are definitely allowed to comment on this, it is a family matter. There is a chance your ideas will be taken into account, but comments like, "just don't get married in October," will be ignored. If you have something useful or helpful to say, by all means, please do!

Please feel free to ask more questions. I will answer them as best I can in my next post, and again, thanks for your prayers, everyone! As Flori and I have continually said throughout this process, it is in the Lord's hands. He is good and gracious.

(cross-posted on Facebook for those unable to view Xanga pages)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 19:40:47 GMT

For those of you who check Xanga more often than I do, Flori's visa interview is tomorrow, at 7 AM, Pacific Daylight Time.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 09:33:21 GMT

Christ is RISEN!

Christ is risen INDEED!