regrets, regrets, regrets.

I really want summer nights, warm/hot weather, being stress free & finals to never start, make my parents happy & keep myself happy at the same time, best friends to be there always, keep my body at it's lightest possible weight for more than 3 months- I wanna be happy & fit in with my family.

I can never quit xanga....

It always manages to creep its way back into my mind at the most unnessecary times. I had this pretty amazing, a range worthy lab report I worked on with my lab partner, and it got deleted (: So being the bum that I am, I sulked and took a nap to discover it was 6 and I was hungry. So I ate dinner....then moped online and on the phone for a good amount of time. And it's led me here....1:12 and I've actually done none of my homework hahah(: Oh well, I'm not going to school Friday because of Chris' surgery. This is my scapegoat out of school, and I mean - he is my brother....and I do care.

Plus, on my A Day block schedules, I only have one class -____- AND - we have shortened classes on that day, so I'm missing a blow off day.

I hate lab reports, mine always sound too rushed. My partner isn't the brightest, but she's nice. Kinda quiet but nice. Highschool isn't so bad when you do your homework and start getting better grades, it gives you more freedom! Ex: Teacher's respect, more time to play, etcetc....okay I just like the MORE TIME TO PLAY part. However, I got a stinkin' C on my recent math quiz & test! What is this! I suck at math. I'm seriously failing that class with my stupid mistakes. I really need to learnhow to double check my work...

I need clothes, I've borrowed an infinite amount of clothes from my friends LOL. And they have half my closet so....I have nothing really. I miss my hoodies - I've given half of them to God knows who...blegh! So I went to CHAMP'S and bought an INDIANA sweatshirt! Getting a way too big size, I'll probably never wear that sweatshirt -____-

I wish I had nap time at school, or I wish I went to nightschool. I'm so awake at night. I have English homework and math homework & studying to do for tomorrow...I really hate how lazy I've gotten over the past 2-3 years.

On a brighter note! BEAUTIFUL LETDOWN THIS WEEKEND!(:

Being held at Canaan Vision Center! So far, 185+ people are coming. I'm just going with a group of friends, it being Cassie's church & all. I always manage to get myself into a stupid fight at these church events....KLSDHLKHSD$&*(@#&$*(^*(#&)#.

I hate myself. I hate homework, I hate school. I hate gaining weight and having those I LOOK SO UGLY AND IT WON'T GET BETTER days, I hate mornings, I hate tests & quizzes, I hate it when teachers don't pick on me when I know the answer but seem to ppoint me out when I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about, I hate how I'm losing my voice, and I hate keeping secrets.

I can't see myself going back to school...over & over like some college students. When I'm done with my 4-5 years of college, that is the end.

Oh my- I can't believe I left my last post like that):

Well, it's 08! &I've broken almost all my resolutions, my grades weren't a shock, but I guess to my parents they were since I hid them so well. Near the end of 2007, I was sucha emotional freak -_- There was a sermon from af1 where Pastor Joe kept talking about pride, negative pride - something along those lines, and I fit everyone of those attributes! Made me feel horrible....I have honestly done no QT's since af1. It's hard, bah. And I've pretty much....fallen back into the negative pride situation again. Workouts come before school work, sleeping comes before homework....basically, everything comes before school. I swear- if I didn't have school, I wouldn't be stressed! I get stressed over the silliest things. I've done 4 spanish translations in the last 4 hours or so, I have atleast 3-4hours of homework I left undone. I thought I'd shape up but....no. Change is so darn hard, and goodness, I want a snow day! WHY IS IT NOT SNOWING?! When I pray for one, we don't have one - when I don't care, we do. Okay, that's just me being selfish....oh poop. My arms are sore from swimming, swimming started....last week? It's been okay except we learned this survival swimming which I suck at and it's not a real stroke so I don't get why we're doing it....besides that, I came in 1st, 2nd or 3rd place on the strokes we learned today- yeah I'm proud 'cause I suck @ every other sport out there so I need to throw in my 2cents.

I just needa break, because I'm lazy. I tell myself, 'the next day'....every day - and I never get my work done....so I'm gonna leave this w/ a coupla pictures I had while I was supposed to be studying + some...random haha ): Oh! I'm horrible in math fyi- I actually went in for help early before school started. My math teacher was there and such.....she's given me 4, you read right - 4 passes out of class to come see her & I ditched them all and ended up w/ a bad.....bad grade last semester, but today I went in w/o a pass & I could tell she was surprised and happy-

....does that make sense? I'm not saying she likes me but I'm saying she was happy I'm making an effort. I like when little things I do make people happy haha ~ b/c they shouldn't expect much, b/c I mean - who likes disappointing people?  I needa tutor again- but my pride's overtaking my needs. I've had more than 10years of tutoring & I was sucha bad student LOL. But, I do need 1on1 rather than....one class.

'kay, now pictures & done!

 So not all these pictures were the same size, silly me - I tried to make them the same size & now they're disgusting....oh well! You'll have to deal ;D

I think this was my last post....

only ugly people keep it private.

...ferreal; last.(: