| | Happy New Monkey Year to everyone!! And Liz's back in business, hohoho... Believe or not, I've been doing a little self reflection today. Well, being in Boston, away from Ann Arbor (where I spent the past 4.5 years) and all, also means new self discoveries. One thing I noticed about myself is my lack of enthusiasm to make new friends in a strange environment. After talking with an old friend, we agreed that we've lost our interest in starting the arduous process all over just to really get to know a person. True enough,it takes a lot of effort and trust to evolve a friendship from the total strangers stage. Contradicting my usual slef, I found myself shying away from the crowd when Ming showed me around in his friends' parties. Perhaps, as we become older, prejudices and stubborness increase as well. We don't easily agree with the others and our views of the others are easily influenced by our prejudices. As I ventured a conversation with some of his friends, I'd be thinking self-consiously, "Hum, do I sound intellegent enough? Do they find me interesting? Does my hair look OK?" It was hard as hell to believe in Liz, yes, myself! Moments of figidy and unconfortability led me to doubting my decision in moving to Boston. I started questioning myself and then losing grasp of the big picture. I've come to start an adventure, to develop a closer knit with Ming, for I deem our relationship worth such a, what my friends called, irrational try. Everyone must've experienced moments of self-doubt. They've been more pronounced nowadays in Liz's jorney. Perhaps that's why I tried to find something I believe strongly enough to hold on to in such uncertain moments. A purpose? Religion? Love? A dream? Well, I can't answer that just yet. Somehow, in the back of all these clouds and hesitation, friends back home show amazing moral support. Never realized that even a word of encouragement from home or friends means so much to me. Hope, friendship, family, love and laughters shall sustain me and I'm glad for their existance~ Ming, thank u also for putting up with me when the fits hit, hehehe : ] Yawn, well, it's time for bed. And yes, I've found something to work on for the new year... til next time, take care everybody! |
| | Posted 1/23/2004 12:59 AM
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