llewelyn5749's Xanga

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 00:41:42 GMT

new job. crazy lady. but $14 p/h

new school. crazy enough. but will at least accept my A+ to skip 1/2 my degree for my bachelor's

m'eh.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:19:06 GMT

fuck vatterott.

and tea keeps going up my nose.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 21:17:10 GMT

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 21:13:40 GMT

Friday, June 13, 2008

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 02:22:06 GMT

i've found myself with a few days off between starting a new phase at school on monday, and this job i was supposed to start last thursday... well... i obviously haven't started yet. i dunno what's up with that.

i'm a little depressed.

i find that everything i do, even if i enjoy it, i don't enjoy it to the fullest, because it seems no one else is enjoying it with me.

i love to make my jewelry. but there's not really anyone here beside me egging me on. or even caring for that matter. like it's just a hobby, when it's not supposed to be.

and as far as dance goes. blah. i still can't really do anything, CPS has totally effed up my shoulder i don't know if i'll ever be able to do much with my entire left arm again. at least i got the numbness to go away. but that doesn't really brighten my day. i want to dance again, and not be in pain every time i lift my arm. :o( i'm really sad. just last year i had prospects of joining a troupe and i was doing really fine on my own, in school and in work, etc. but then it all kinda went down hill... then i got married, and i just don't have time for myself anymore.

*sigh*

nobody actually reads this shit, and if they do, they don't bother to leave any messages for me. so i fig. since i type faster than i can write, it's easier to just put all my pathetic negativity right here. since it helps me vent and feel in the smallest amount, better.

i wish life were simpler.

i wish people would buy my jewelry

i wish i could dance again.

i wish i didn't have to go to school.

i wish i didn't have to meet the high demands of living in this society through a job and money.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:18:01 GMT

i read too many books. i think i'm on book 3 or 4 for this week.

the library must love me, because i pay like 3 bucks in fines every time i'm in there.

i really want a house. i've been lurking on craigslist and just browsing real estate websites...

course we can't afford a house.

because we have no money.

sucks being poor.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 00:56:25 GMT

went to wentzville flea market today... got my green pyrex bowl for part of my set for 2 bucks, now i just need the red/orange... also got a couple small tupperware containers, the old vintage accordion ones, my mother has blue, these were yellow. but only a buck a piece. and they're the ones i wanted to begin with... also got some other jewelry stuff..

then i went to renn faire. it was hot. it was whatever. i've had more fun other years :o/ i hope pirate's fest is better... i think maybe i didn't have as much fun because it's like everyone i know in that whole aspect of renaissance i don't really hang out with, they're just acquaintances, and that makes it awkward for me.. besides i was lugging around my mom (which isn't' so bad really) and then josh's mom, who has to sit like every 5 minutes. so yeah.... i didn't dress up either, maybe i woulda been more into it if i did. but i'm just not overly excited about it right now. maybe cause no one i know anymore actually shares my passion for this stuff... and it's hard being enthusiastic about it when you're doing it alone... kinda like my jewelry. i get excited when i make something, and people are like, oh that's cool... i wish people actually wanted to ... buy it maybe??? i spend too much money on supplies, it almost seems not worth it to me... maybe i should start sewing with the sewing machine josh got me for xmas... but i really want a serger, so i can just crank out stuff... i've already made loads of patterns for pants and tops, etc... then i can dump them upon the unsuspecting pirate lovers of the world. .. but.. m'eh

whatever.

:o(

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 22:58:16 GMT

updated my etsy and my jewelry blogspot

http://www.llewelyn5749.etsy.com
http://www.phoenixllewelyn.blogspot.com

in other news...

didn't go to the dance workshop today. i don't know why.

some random guys started throwing rocks at our bedroom window at like 4:30 am last night. wtf?

renn faire tomorrow, i dunno if i'm up for it.

i've been in a really bad funk. i don't know why.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Wed, 28 May 2008 01:38:01 GMT

bellydance vs. renaissance

i'm bummed! we'll, more just indecisive. i can't decide if i want to go to the renn faire on the 7th, which i already bought a ticket for (and is the only day i can go) or if i want to go to Tribal Journeys Bellydance workshop w/ all my tribal girlies. I haven't paid for the last one yet. but i've been looking forward to it for soooo long. But my mother and i already made plans to go to the renn faire that day.... i don't know. maybe we can switch it around and i can go to renn faire on the 8th (but josh won't be able to go) and then i can still go to my workshop!!! cause i REALLY want to go!

of course there's always still Pirate Fest, but that's not 'till september!!!!!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Sat, 24 May 2008 14:49:15 GMT

WFR Syndicated TV Show

Click.