i always knew that singapore was hot,but it didnt mean it could be THIS hot?!
like really. i had to turn my fan like to the HIGHEST?!
and im getting sick.. this is HORRIBLE.

its weird, cos i dont use this xanga anymore, but i just feel like xanga-ing now. (:

i swear i love my granny.
she is SO cute! ((:
she was sitting on this cushion thingy, and when she wanted to get up, SHE COULDNT! LOL.
okie. i know im evil, but. it WAS funny. ((:
i helped her up okie. eventually i managed to get her up.
i was just thinking, if she. i mean IF here. IF she ever did pass away, oh GOD forbid that, i'd be really really sad. i mean, she means a lot to me. she brought a lot of joy into my family. and she's the closest grand parent i have. i do find her a nuisance at times, but she IS still my granny. and she'll be the closest that will pass away. i will miss her if she's gone. okie.. im speaking like as if she's really gone. GOOD THOUGHTS. mind you, she's healthy as a fiddle.

just a thought, but i've always been attending funerals or hearing about distant folks that are passing away, and i just sweep that thought right out of my mind. i realise i never spend more than a minute thinking about those poor folks who just leave like that. maybe its because i know, that somehow, half or more of them are in heaven, waiting for me. cos i know, i'd really rather be up there with them than down here on earth in this blistering hot weather. i know the weather can be counted as a test for endurance, to train my patience, but somewhere, its gotta stop right? i hope it does. man does reap what he sows aint it? i mean, the weather IS part of his doing. all the revolutionisation has caused us to neglect our surroundings. okie. dont mind me chattering on about globalisation, but it must be the weather. giving me all these weird thoughts in my mind.

art is a bore. gotta do my prep work that was due today, but i totally forgot about it. mr ong's gonna gimme a BIG FAT ZERO, but i still gotta hand it in to him right? i'll hand it to him latest by this friday okie! i will. i gotta do a lot of things by friday.

1) dye my hair black.
2) hand in art prep.
3) return money to justin.
4) go and die!

lol. okie. no.4 was not neccessary, but owells. added that in for fun. ((:
http://www.usp.nus.edu.sg/post/singapore/government/36signs.html
(that is funny. all the facts about us singaporeans (:  )

okie. if you've managed to read until here, or at least this post, you are doing well, cos i think, i've never or not been typing like this in a while. i was so use to typing in sentences. now it's in paragragraphs. gotta start somewhere? (:

i miss my daddy. like really. he's been gone for so long. not seen him in a while. thought he's gonna come home tomorrow, but then my mummy says he's coming back in the morning and flying off again in the night. ): such a whiner.. i love him. (: though he can be such a pig sometimes, i love him nonetheless. he doesnt show his love outrightly, but he does the small things in life that are SO impt at times. i love him for who he is, though i scream and shout at him. i know it hurts him when i scream and shout at him, and i want to say im sorry. dont know whether you'll ever read this, but i was praying SO hard the other day when i saw the lightning, thunder and heavy rain. i knew you were on the way home, somewhere in the skies, maybe somewhere a thousands miles away, but i was so afraid i bowed my head to pray. to pray for journey mercys that you'll reach home safely. and the next morning i was so happy to see you safe and sound at home. though i never told you, i was always longing to hug you. i, like you - daddy, dont know how to express myself sometimes, so i followed your ways, i show my love by doing the small things that contribute to a person's life.

i dunno why that all came out. i told you. it HAD to be the weather. OWELLS.
im going to sleep now. ART CAN WAIT. until friday that is. ((:

AMERICAN IDOL - DAVID ARCHULETA!!

LOVE.

HELLO.

okie.
i know i havent been xanga-ing,
but i have my reasons okie.
dont ask.
i'd rather not say.

but then again,
i look at society at present,
and i think to myself,
wat a screwed up world we live in.
like HONESTLY.
look around,
how many rape cases do you hear about each day?!
just recently,
i heard one shocking one,
an european father locked his daughter up in a cellar and sexually abused her.
they even have like 8 kids together,
but one died.
STILL.
MAIN TOPIC: FATHER RAPES DAUGHTER.

its sick and twisted,
but i read in TEENAGE,
about this girl who talked about her friend engaging in unprotected sex with her dad.
and that girl apparently thinks its okie and smth to be unashamed of.
the girl did it in front of her friend,
and even offered to show her the video of her having sex with her dad!
SEE.
the world is in ruins.
its so twisted.

i must be living in DENIAL.
i rather live in my own world sometimes,
where everything is just the way i want to imagine it to be.
a happy place.

but then again,
reality always has a way to CREEP into my life.
that bitch.
dont mind my crude language mind you.
sorry.

ANWS..
back to why i wanted to blog.
i wanted to get my feelings out when that random thought came to me.
blah blah blah.
BACK TO THE TOPIC.
today,
i met up with him.
like after the last time.
that day still haunts me.
like i couldnt look at him straight in the eyes.
cos i didnt want to be reminded of that day.
that experience.
its too tramautic to talk about.
time heals all things huh.
we'll have to see about that.
i've read your letter.
i've seen wat you've got to say.
but,
i just cant get over my own pyscological barrier within me.
so for now,
we'll just keep our distance.
cos i dun wanna get hurt anymore.
thks for dinner anws.

mel and i went to BILLY BOMBERS for dinner.
cos she had a voucher and it was expiring tmr?
or smth lidat.
we ENJOYED the meal,
but we were kinda full.
so we didnt manage to finish.
and we only ordered BUFFALO CHICKEN and BILLY's ORIGINAL.
lucky we didnt order more.
all thks to OLD CHANG KEE.
lol.

anws,
the service was GREAT.
damn FUNNAYE.
like melody has problems?!
TOO MANY.
first the board,
next her fingers.
haix.
problematic kid.
LOL.
anws,
she kept cleaning her hands,
and she ran out of tissue.
and immediately this waiter walks up and puts a big pile of tissue on the table.
we burst into a roar of laughter,
and mel takes out a pen and grabs the feedback form.
but stops,
cos she realises she didnt get his name.
so we spent more than 10 mins trying to get him,
and ONLY him to our table.
1) to get his name,
2) using the pretext of getting the bill.

LOL.

dumb.
i know.
but it WAS funnaye..


im not gonna kill myself.
not because of him.
im gonna face up to reality,
and grow stronger by the second.

DICKLESS (pettytin came up with this),
IS DAMN ASSHOLE.
i try to help him with ss,
and HE SCOLDS ME!
omg.
DICK.
like HONESTLY.
i take out my time to HELP him.
and just cos i cant answer smth,
he SCOLDS me.

OH YA!.
i like my NEW pink watch and purple specs!
though everyone's not used to me wearing it,
ME too,
but like,
THEY WILL. ((:
and THKS MEL.
for getting me the PINK stuff!
lol.
im lil miss pink!.
DEAL WITH IT.

LOVE.