| circle jerk"The world under heaven, after a long period of division, tends to unite; after a long period of union, tends to divide. This has been so since antiquity." - Sanguo Yanyi (Romance of the Three Kingdoms) Under the current circumstances, these words rightly occupy my mind. I don't think the "world under heaven" applies only to the instance of on kingdom separating into three, as it is told by the book. I think it applies to humankind as a whole because of the dynamic nature of our actions. We come into the world alone, and are quickly united with family and friends. After a period of time, due to changes in our age, nature, or expectations of society, we're plucked from our comfort zone, and plunged into yet another world made up of individuals and cliques not yet partial to the idea of a new member within their organization. Surely enough, the world under heaven eventually unites us with what is to be our fateful partners, and the cycle continues till the end of time. I can tell you straight up that I don't like this idea. It's not the "unity" part that I do not like. No, I've got no problems with unity at all, as I've been a part of some group all my life. Whether the group be made up of 4 people who uses their initials to come up with a group name, or made up of 12 people and a man that has a stunning resemblance to Jesus (this is by no means supposed to be offensive, but the guy looks like all of the illustrations of Jesus), or made up of 2 people where the only commonality is probably sleep deprivation, or even 5 people whose group is aptly and unintelligently named G5 (yes it is named after the damn summit). But what I do want to complain about is my inability to adapt quickly enough so that when the group separates, as it is inevitable as according to the statement above, that I won't be the one that gets stuck with the check. I don't want to be the last one to be still amored by the notion of brotherhood or companionship, but end up finding only the dust trails left by those gone to supposedly bigger than better things, or simply to get the heck away from me. (I had a circle jerk analogy that I wanted to use here, but my imposed mental censorship is stronger than the lures of the First Amendment) Though I do complain about things like this, the separatist feeling, the "others are getting out of the group" feeling, I recognize that I am also to blame. The powers that be never gave me the clairvoyance that I've asked, so I am constantly blinded by the confusing scenery of the present. I know I trudge on the thin line of becoming a hypocritical bastard, but no hippos are ever going to stop me from complaining. I relish the feeling of being a part of a group and the bravado I get from knowing that I'm not alone, but I also hope that I could retain that false sense of confidence even when the people around me are gone. All in all I guess what I'm trying to do is to leave a reminder. To remind myself, that when it comes down to it, I still gotta be able to take care of myself, whatever the state of the world under heaven may be. |
