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| Obsessions... I don't even know how to start... ahaha Lets see, I have had this emo fashion obsession ever since I started college and it's now starting to get worse this semester in school. Because I kinda see it almost every where I turn. It kinda started my senior year in high school when people just started doing it. Well it kinda sparked when Christina, Nga?, and Naomi talked about it or did it? Well anyways yeah... Then i started watching youtube videos of "emos" (I think if you type it in on youtube, you'll see what I used to see...) Besides the point, yeah I "tried" doing the emo boy look... the only part I have down is the boy part... Yay?! I can't even pull off looking like a girl even if I wanted too (well having long hair might help, but I prefer short hair), not that i'm complaining. I tired wearing like the most "girlish outfit?" I could find and I still end up being called a dude... Oh well it's hopeless, I don't mind. But then again I do get offended sometimes... (I'm such a dork, contradicting myself).
To the main point, I always end up staring at them whenever I see them in my eye sight. It doesn't help that there is a guy in my Japanese class who has that fashion. And no, that is not the reason why i'm doing so poorly in Japanese class. (I'm doing so poorly is because I do not take the time to study, which I should be doing now but I'm doing this so yeah...)
OOOh and I saw another guy today in Japan Club he was sitting there and I could only see his profile but he kinda looked like Rui from Hana Yori Dango the Japanese Drama version (Who I adore? Am I using that right?). I kinda went crazy in my mind when his buddy joined in our icebreaker thingy for Japan Club so he ended up joining too. His name is Ben, he's a Senior, I forgot the major... (It probably because I can't even pronounce it) and his favorite movie is get this A Walk to Remember. (I love the movie too, but I had to sound all tough and say Sweeney Todd [but i do love that movie too]. I even have proof, I have the VHS and the soundtrack!) He was like "I know this is going to sound gay, but... I like A Walk to Remember. Awww that's soooo sweet. It's true "emo boys" are the sweetest boys! Well some of them, maybe, I haven't met a whole lot them. :(
P.S. Does this blog make me sound girlish??? I have a frightning suspicion that it does.
P.P.S. after he said A Walk to Remember I was retarded and made this loud Oh My God remark... (sooo retarded)...
P.P.P.S. Off-Topic I kinda find it wierd too, that I know a lot more guy people/friends here then girl friends.... I guess it balances out because I tend to hang out with the girl friends or groups, then just guys. I can't say it was the opposite in high school because I hung out with girl friends, I don't think I had any guy friends...
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| Happy Near YearsJust finished watching Karen's and Carlos' New Years vlog. I just realized I never wished my parents a Happy New Year. I assumed when you said Happy New Year with them it like counted... I'm wrong, now I know better.
Guess my resolutions for this year is to:
1) use less then 40 bucks a month (exceptions are school related things)
2) Start working out again. (kinda too late because it's the second day of the new year already) (even at school)
3) Try to save more money then spend it. I'm going to start using this rule [use 80%, save 10%, give 10%] (Coun 191 came in handy)
4) Look for an apartment for my junior year of college
5) Find a job on Campus
6) Work up enough money so I can pay off my debt so that I can travel for the summer.
7) Find some way to make my mom realize I'm 20 and that I need to do some things before it's too late for me.
Can I really accomplish those things this year. Considering I want to travel for fun instead of educational wise. I want to find an apartment to try to be an "adult" or try to get a car, but I don't see how that is going to work out...
Lets see my grades for Fall 2007
4 A's not bad, fantastic in fact. 2 D's on the other hand... I'm just speechless. Astronomy and Math 115. I guess I'll be taking Chemistry instead now since I didn't pass Astronomy. Wow, I got A's for two P.E. Classes, Chinese, and a class i didn't really like Coun 191. Chinese was a disappointment for me this year. I mean I got An A, but I feel like I don't deserve it. I didn't really learn anything this year, I slacked off. How am I suppose to get better at a language if I don't really try to stick them in my head. Not saying I didn't really learn anything. I can kinda (still very little) interpret what people are saying, but my reading hasn't really improved from last Spring when I took Chinese 101. Hopefully for Japanese 101 (If I get in) I'll try to get the information in my long term memory. There is also one more class I need a grade for which was the Astronomy Lab. I know for sure I passed that class, so I know I don't have to worry about a Lab for that category.
I should be taking about something else in here, but it's kinda awkward sooooo...
I'll probably be seeing that person this Sunday at ALA, which definitely will be awkward because my cousin and my younger sisters are also going. Woe is me!!! (I had to say that because I was watching Nana and hardly anybody uses that saying anymore. Well yeah I can use it though...)
Lets see, I need finish up my Anbu costume by Sunday!!!
1) the inner black shirt
2) the sandals
3) the gloves
4) the armor part for my arms
5) the wig (I think I got screwed over with my on-line wig)
6) finishing touches, if there is time.
I could have finished those things since the start of vacation, but I got realllllllly lazy. I just can't seem to make myself start, because I feel soo overwhelmed. Like where should I start, or am I doing this correctly... Also I have to do this on my mother's sewing machine, not one of those portable ones, soooo I'm kinda scared using a big piece of machinery... I might as well start now after this, it's either now or never because I'm starting to get bored at home.
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| Happy Near Years to all i didn
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| Fatalism???
Lets see, Last Friday, Day I was going to go to work and go
home for the weekend to study (yeah right) for three tests I was going to receive and celebrate my birthday early because it was on a Tuesday. What I did instead was called in work to tell
them I was going to need to get two weeks off because I had to study for
tests. And I went to PMX (Pacific Media
Expo) Saturday and Sunday. But at least I studied all day on Monday and it was
a holiday… And Tuesday kinda because I had
classes to attend, one of those tests were done on that day. Wednesday, I studied some more, I even
attended a class that most people would ditch if they had two back to back
tests after that.
PMX, PMX, P M X,
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  That trip was spur of the
moment. I mean I heard of it a
looooooong time ago in Anime Club but I didn’t really think about it. So when I’m at Denny’s I hear People talking
about PMX. For example, ahhhh I’m going
to be soo broke after PMX, PMX is tomorrow, or let’s get to PMX at so and so
time. Me “what the heck is PMX???…”
So then I ask Karen “Na Ne or what’s PMX” She told me Pacific Media
Expo. (Light bulb goes on) Me “Really, that sounds like fun, how long is
it?” She told me three days and it
starts Friday. I was like “Darn I have
work this weekend; I could try going on Sunday though because I don’t have
work.” She was like “I’m going on
Saturday though.” I was then like “Darn,
I guess I could try going on Saturday, but I’ll have to leave early… ”
I’m going to keep this short, cause I cant but help blush when I explain it all. Kay, Saturday met guy, met
guy again, held hands, caught me, hugged, him attempting to get my first kiss, got
my first cheek kiss instead. Sunday, met
again, got my first neck kiss, him attempting to get first kiss again couple of
times, me exhausted caught me off guard and finally succeeded, me hiding from
in my legs from shock, hugged many times, decided how it’s going to work, me
closing my eyes and getting kissed bigger this time…, feeling many times
guilty, and many times confused.
Soooooooooo, going to a con gets this kind of result. Life changing as well because this happened days
before I’m turned 20. Something I wasn’t
suppose to do turned out like this. Is
this fatalism… ahahaha I just learned that word last month. I mean I don’t regret it though, but
ahhhhhhhh I’m just really confused and I don’t know what to do about it… I’m going to talk about it today maybe …
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| Dreams and Coincidences???Anime Club was at this pizza place but the place was
empty, the restaurant had booths and tables with chairs. While pizzas
were being made, I guess, Kenny and I were talking and Kenny was walking around
the place. Kenny said "I want to be a Big Brother" I was like;
"I don't think that’s a good idea. What if he might want to hook up
with you?" He was like "What?" Then, I told him why I
said that. "I was once a Big Sister and my Younger Sister was like
13 but didn't look her age, she looked older. (She looked like Kristen
Stewart from Into the Wild not that version of her though...) Out of the
blue, she told me "Let's be together" I was like "We are
together." She said "No, like together together" I
was "Um, I don't think that’s a good idea, we're two girls."
(I don't have a problem with this in real life though... I'm not a hater or
whatever you call those people) She was like "I don't see the problem
with that" In one of those "Awww, why can't we visit our
favorite Grandma" voices.
While I was talking with my knees standing on the booth cushions facing
outward telling this story, Kenny walked around until he was eventually in
front of me. We just looked into each other’s eyes.
Suddenly, the pizzas arrived. I was sitting diagonally across from Kenny
and his pizza. Everybody else was in the middle near us on the tables and
chairs. Karen was like "I'm going to be over there." She
pointed somewhere but in my dream I wasn't looking. (...) When I looked at
Kenny's Pizza I saw some meat & veggies, but what stood out the most was that
there were chunks of Onions on it. Not those sliced up thinly pieces but
chopped up like circle chunks. I was like "How can you eat that...
I'm going to go over there" and I pointed to Karen's direction. I
saw him rearranging those chunks of onions while i left. (ewwwwwww)
Next scene, I was in this half lit, half dark room. I was in the dark
side and across from me was the lit side. The lit side had a door, which
looked like it was connected to a busy street. People were walking across
back and forth in front of the door. The windows and the door were covered up
with white paper so if you were to look at it, you would see only dark figures
going by. Then all of a sudden these big star leaves (they were yellow
and shaped like papou stars but less puffy and not fruits or whatever they are) gently
land on the lit area that appeared to be the stage. Somehow the dark area
was elevated so you can see the whole stage floor. These three girls came
on stage and started talking (forgot what they were saying) then two of
the girls started rolling up the leaf. The third girl was mostly in the
way. The scene was as the girls were rolling up the star the one in the
way would talk, realized the others were rolling up the thing but stopped
because she realized she was in the way and moved to a different position on
the star. Basically girl in the way kept talking and stopped talking to
move somewhere else on the star, started talking again, when in the way moved again
to different unrolled location. (She had something important to say each
time but I forgot) Finally the leaf was rolled up but 3 "leg"
parts of the star leave was lefted on stage. One of the girls picked it up
and said something funny about props malfunctioning that would have been on the
outtakes if the play were a movie. (I think it was funny...) The
girls left the stage.
Out of thin air right next to me was Lincoln from Prison Break in his Prison
Break type of clothes; he told me he would be back. He walked into
the lit area and out the door. I realized I was on a bed cuddled up
leaning against the head board. Out of nowhere Will Ferrell started
walking in front of the bed and said "It's about to start
soon." When I looked at the floor as he was walking on, I saw what looked
like Angelina Jolie's name all fancied up on the floor. When he walked
across the floor her name started glowing one letter at a time. Then the
play started again with a lady standing with one leg on the floor and her knee
on the chair. (Again, forgot what she said). The door opens up on
stage and Lincoln comes in and starts beating up the lady. In my dream it
felt like I zoomed in and I could see Lincoln grab and punch her a lot.
Eventually guys started coming on stage to pull Lincoln off of her (By
this time I was pretty sure I was slightly awake because I heard myself
chuckle) So on stage on the bottom left I see a guy helping the lady up
and on the middle and top areas I see two guys holding Lincoln and a big crowd
behind them. Lincoln was so agitated that he was literally, arms and legs
bent in the lady's direction like a kid is when a parent picks up a child and
the child was playing with something and it suddenly falls out of its hands and it sticks out its arms and
legs trying to get it back.......
Roommate was trying to get in and it sounded like she knocked on the
door. So I got up to go open it and I saw the key in her hand... and went
back into bed. Somehow I kind of have an explanation for each event that
went on in this. Kenny, pizza ALL ANIME CLUB. Big Brother, Big
sister, Girl on Girl things ALL SUSAN AND A DREAM I ONCE HAD... The
stage, star left, actors I SAW ONE OF THE ACTORS FROM CSULB. Lincoln,
Prison Break MY BROTHER AND SEASON FINALE.
P.S. I dreamt this dream last week, last Friday to be exact... Just never had the time to put it it here...
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