lookingatthesky's Xanga

This is for you, Kent

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 20:31:08 GMT

I found this article today on engadget.com. Can't say I'm into all that techie stuff, but some of the comments people left were hilarious. I've included my favorites below.

Inventors claim to turn 300 microwaves into megawatt energy weapon

Posted Oct 23rd 2006 3:20PM by Cyrus Farivar
Filed under: Misc. Gadgets, Household

If you happen to have say, 300 microwaves kicking around between you and your friends, it turns out that you'd have a large part of the ingredients necessary for a pretty substantial weapon. That is, according to two New Mexican inventors, who recently filed a patent for a "high-power microwave system employing a phase-locked array of inexpensive commercial magnetrons." Translated into English that basically means that these guys claim you can combine the magnetrons (the bits that generate the actual microwave that cooks your popcorn) from a bunch of consumer-grade microwaves and tweak 'em a bit to develop a megawatt-level death ray, or in military/legal parlance, a "directed energy weapon system." Yeah, we've seen energy weapons (or tools, if you prefer) before, but this is probably one of the first times that we've seen ordinary kitchen technology more complicated than a knife turn into a seriously lethal weapon.

T. Bell @ Oct 23rd 2006 4:15PM

I would like to echo the concern of others here and say that we can't let this technology remain in the hands of any Mexicans, be they New, Old or otherwise. I've severely burned the roof of my mouth on a surreptitiously over-microwaved burrito on more than one occasion, and I can only imagine the carnage a burrito whose refried core is superheated to plasma and launched in a projectile weapon.

The choice is clear. We must rid Mexico of these Weapons of Microwave Destruction.

James @ Oct 23rd 2006 4:25PM

OMG! Mexico has WMDs?!
Well at least we don't have to go overseas to institute regime change!

And, of course, we know exactly where they're located ...

American Copywriter @ Oct 23rd 2006 4:54PM

The drawback of this weapon is that our enemies, once fired upon, will likley remain cold in the middle unless they're on some sort of giant battlefield turntable.

willdao @ Oct 23rd 2006 4:58PM

What? You've never jammed a pencil into the lid-lock on a Cuisinart, in order to fire "deli-copter death-blades" at your mothers-in-law?

Man! You lamos've never lived!

Jeffler @ Oct 23rd 2006 5:15PM

In other news, Costco and Sams Club have decided that they will stop selling the 300 and 500 packs of microwaves.

"299 Should be more than enough for anyone" Said the CEO of Walmart.

p-diddy @ Oct 23rd 2006 5:25PM

Mexicans have WMDs?? Let's bomb the shit of them for oil.... oh wait.

stan lee @ Oct 23rd 2006 5:11PM

You've never jammed a pencil into the lid-lock on a Cuisinart, in order to fire "deli-copter death-blades" at your mothers-in-law?

The casualness with which you tossed out this comment leaves me somewhat concerned that you really have tried this.

And for Robby Stewart...

Manuel @ Oct 23rd 2006 5:51PM

Now i get it , that's why hundreds of Imperial stormtrooper where buying microwaves on wal-mart and getting them to the soon-to-be fully operational death star.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 02:03:31 GMT

It's amazing what a little editing will do to a picture sometimes. I took this very uninspiring picture last fall. Yesterday, I decided to play around with it to see if I could make it look good in black and white. Here's the result.

Before...

After...

I wish I could make the pictures bigger but I haven't figured out xanga's new photo system yet.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 19:49:06 GMT

Monday, June 05, 2006

Mon, 05 Jun 2006 21:05:18 GMT

"I think I'm gonna try to win the Nobel Prize. I've been thinking about it a lot the last few days." - Benji

We've Got it all Backwards

Fri, 19 May 2006 21:10:15 GMT

There's a common teaching in the church today that says God often leads us by closing doors. I agree with that wholeheartedly, just not the way it's taught. Basically the idea is there's two options we're presented with and God closes one door. We should take it as a sign that God doesn't want us going through that door; instead we need to go through the door that He's left open. That's a great theology if our God is a god of the possible. But our God is a God of the impossible. It's great theology if we walk by sight. But we don't; we walk by faith. This doctrine is the result of human logic, not the Word of God. It's unredeemed thinking. When I read the Bible, I find a pattern that shows the promises of God behind the closed doors, not the open ones. Look at Sarah - God's promise to her and to Abraham was behind a closed door, or rather, a closed womb. And what about the Promised Land? It was behind a series of closed doors. Pharoah and his army were a closed door. The Red Sea was a closed door. The wilderness was a closed door. The Jordan River was a closed door. The giants living in the land of Canaan were closed doors. So were the walled cities. See the pattern? The promises of God are contained behind the closed doors, not the open ones! Yes, God leads by closing doors. He closes them to highlight them as the door we're supposed to go through! We've had it backwards; we've been the wrong door. Those who base their lives by what's possible die in the wilderness. It's the generation that lives by faith that inherits the Promised Land because the Promised Land is only entered by faith. I don't think this rule applies 100% of the time. God probably closes doors sometimes because He doesn't want us going through them. But to say a closed door is a sign that God is leading us away from something is a faithless statement that puts no trust in the power of God.

Waterloo, Gettysburg... Brookside

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 21:07:06 GMT

*To best appreciate this post, scroll down slowly and keep upcoming pictures off the screen until you've read all the text before them. Thank you.*

It started with the doorbell ringing. I opened the door but no one was there. The neighborhood kids had been playing outside all afternoon and I figured it was them up to something. So I walked out in the parking lot and found one of them crouched behind my car, grinning. Immediately afterward, another one came from around the side of the apartment. I was the victim of their little joke. To put it bluntly, I got taken. By twelve year olds. Defeat leaves a bitter taste that is only taken away by retribution. So I hung my head and walked back into my apartment. But even as I took my loser's walk, I was hatching a plan. A few minutes later I emerged with a peace offering.

Water pistols.

Why not? It was a hot April evening in Alabama. Let them have some fun. So what happened next? They turned their guns on me. Inevitable. So I fled back to the safety of 9B, but I did it slowly enough that they wouldn't give up the pursuit. I ran into the living room, grabbed my gun and reemerged.

Surprise! Several witnesses described it as a fire hydrant bursting. I called it payback. With vengeance in my heart and the Vaporizer in my hand, I unleashed annhiliation. Children fled, mothers screamed, and judgement rained down from above (literally). No pictures were taken of the actual event but it looked something like this.

And this.

There's nothing quite like superior firepower. Here's a side by side comparison of my gun and theirs.

Of course I didn't really terrorize them. I got a few good shots off and then gave my gun away. They spent the next twenty minutes shooting each other and me. I alternated between moving target (Always conscious to move just slowly enough so as not to get away) and gun refiller until it got too dark and they had to go home. Good times!

Here's to being a kid!

Big B's Bachelor Party

Sat, 08 Apr 2006 13:18:59 GMT

Last night we sent Brian off in style and caked in flour. It was his bachelor party, so we gave him hell. And he genuinely enjoyed every minute of it (except when olive oil started dripping in his eyes and burning). Here's some of the highlights.

Brian walking in. This is the last picture of him fully clothed.

Rather than put up a fight, Brian voluntarily got naked.

One last moment of relaxation before the torture began.

After being duct taped and bubble wrapped, the self-proclaimed "Alpha Male" is taken outside to be tortured.

Flour, olive oil and eggs - this was before he got really messy. You can't read it in this picture, but across his chest we taped the olive oil sticker, "Extra Virgin."

Fifteen minutes later, Brian was a greasy mess. We all took turns getting pictures with him. This is me with Brian and his best friend Dan.

Ready to be hosed down with really cold water.

A much cleaner, happier Brian outside Bodega in downtown Auburn. We tried to get him onstage at a bar but he would have no part of it. And nobody would fight him on it because nobody wanted to touch him.

Brian pumped about surviving and enjoying a well-deserved cookie. He's not naked in this picture, but trust me, you don't want to see it.

Good times. We also took time to bless Brian by telling him what he means to us and by praying over him. Congratulations Brian and Patricia. I love you guys.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 22:46:20 GMT

Probably the greatest revelation I've ever received is that I'm not God's bastard child - I'm the apple of His eye.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 03:14:41 GMT

I believe that to love the way God wants us to love, we must put ourselves in positions that leave us vulnerable to being hurt. But our hearts are also to be grounded in Him. And a heart that is grounded in Him, that is planted next to the river of life, is constantly refreshed and restored and healed. So it's okay to have a heart that is easily hurt because we can also have hearts that are easily healed. I've learned to take hurt and brokenness in stride and to even see beauty in them because they are part of the rich array of experiences that form the tapestry of my life. Pain is no longer so threatening when I have a Lover who has healing in excess. Not to say that I'm fully immersed in this experience, but I think I'm brushing up against the edge of what Paul meant when he said, "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation... I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 15:57:39 GMT

So here's something bizarre - bizarre only in that it happened to me. I had a fashion revelation. And I'm not someone who exactly cares a whole lot about fashion. So for my mind to work like this kind of freaks me out a little bit. Last night, I wore a pair of ripped-up jeans with a pink button-up shirt. The shirt was wrinkled and I wore it untucked. Today, I ironed the shirt and put it back on. It looked really bad. It's a thick cotton shirt with a lot of texture. When I ironed it, the texture went away. So I took it off, wrinkled it, removed the creases and put it back on. Much better. It has kind of a Bob Dylan - dissheveled, but cool - look. I don't know where this insight came from but it's today's blog fodder.