Treasure now, because it was once Lost.

最近發現，自己以及身邊的朋友都因為一些誤會或立場不同而發生磨擦，或多或少都和溝通出現了問題有關。其實為了一時之氣而影響得來不易的友誼，真不直得。能體諒別人可能是一種天賦；能大方接受別人的意見而不把它看作為人身攻擊或批評, 而又能在表達意見時把它變得正面和易於別人接受，是溝通上的一種学問與藝術，而這都是從人生經驗累積中領悟出來，沒有折徑，沒有止境，我也在学習當中。換過角度看事物，往往有不同的體悟。

因為失去過，才学會珍惜。

Merry less Christmas?

Why do i write so infrequently, maybe i was too lazy, but i found myself more incline to write when there are special things going on in life or something happened so unexpectedly and depressing, which can only be expressed through writing, and serve as a catharsis of my disappointments with life.

A week ago, a very good friend of mine has left for Hong Kong for good, i was left with my dear mui mui, i love her so much that i am starting to worry more and more about her well being, health, whether she is chewing on something which can be dangerous when i am not around, such as chewing on wires, whether she gets depressed when i am away for too long for work...the fact is that it is bothering me to know someone is expecting to see mui mui from far away and i dont know how am i supposed to live without her if i really have to return her to someone i used to love so much. i know i will be selfish to keep her here but i wish something would work out better...i have troubles sleeping the past few days, i thought i was getting a flu but it wasn't..it is a general fatigueness, a fatigueness towards what's going on...don't know it is has to do with my new roommate who tends to come home really late at nite and worries whether mui mui will make a mess outside when i am sleeping...maybe it is me being paranoid ..i shouldn't blame others. i am sure both of us is making compromise and making effort to make each other's life easier.

my friend left almost a week ago and it is just beginning to hit me because the house is getting so quiet during the day and evening, it only gets noiser after midnight.  mui mui whenever i came home, she is showing this sad and lonely face that seems to be telling me something is not the same, that she wishes somebody could spend more time with her..(ironically, isn't that's how i am feeling right now?)...i know i have to learn to take care of her entirely on my own and making sure i am doing everythin right for her, it's not easy since others i have been doing that for me for so long...or ever since i have her...people have been too good to me, now i am stuck with my blunt and clumsy hands, and my oblivious to her needs...and on top of that, i have to deal with other stuffs , such as the renewal of my contract in the coming two weeks, application for MSW and finding people to write my references, tyring to figure out what i want to do with my MA, and dealing with the side effects of my medication that is extremely annoying both mentally and physically and honestly, i think it is getting into my head now and making me depressed esp. after i was just told by a not so sensitive and impatient doctor yesterday that i will have to take it for another 3-4 months and he has increased the dose...i don't know how i can survive the winter when my skin is already cracking up even before the real winter comes....

i thank you for my friends who are there to support me throughout this period and one special friend or whom i should refer to as a couple who is taking time and effort to make mui mui happier and healthier and not as lonely as her father. And i wish she will get the position that she has been hoping for. Perhaps, my life isn't that bad after all, i still have many caring friends around me (near and far) when i need them most, i guess i just have to change my perceptions on things.

my christmas wish...mui mui will be healthier and more well behaved and i will have a better idea on what i really want and where will i stand in the near future.....

p.s. to my dear dear friend in HK, thank you for everything you did, i wish you will find a good job in HK soon and i hope you will find your true love very soon...unless you are looking to fool around first..hehe..and i forgot to put that in my wish list ...hehe...have a happy and wonderful Disney trip. 

A Thank You note to my friends!

Toroonto--Niagara Falls --Best Western at Fallsview--Toby & Neo, Cindy, RR & Rogers--walking mui mui & neo in the parks near the Falls--Marriot Buffet dinner--Hard Rock Cafe--Slot Machine--Roulette--breakfast at Tony's Roma --Birds Conservatory--Pizzeria--Cirque Niagara-Avaria--Chung&James--Spanish Aero Car--Buffalo--Prime Outlet--Galleria--Jerome&Jemma--Niagara Falls--Toronto .. a brief summary of what we did over the long weekend.

Thanks Cindy, RR, Rogers for planning the whole trip including the surpising Circus show (you really got me fooled!! :) )and nice buffet dinner with spectacular views of the Falls... thanks for making my b-day a memorable day and an almost perfect vacation (the weather could be better though)!! it is nice to know my friends are there when i need them most!! :>

Cindy, thanks for your Big big Gift, i really appreciate it...and thanks RR and Rogers for the nice T-shirt.

Thanks mui mui for keeping me company all the time. I hope you also enjoyed the trip. at least you got more snacks and exercises than you normally do..thanks Neo for keeping mui mui company throughout the trip and during the long hours waiting in the room. 

Thanks James & Chung for coming all the way from  Toronto and spending time together...though i wish we could spend the entire trip together..it would be lots of fun...thanks for the cute undie...i love it...hehee...

Thanks Jerome & Jemma for treating me a nice dinner. i will definitely make time for them next time.

Thanks for those who called or messaged me on my b-day (e.g. Eric, Alex, Jonathan, Mom and my dear Sister, Sonia & Curio...) and those who remembered (even if they didn't call). thanks for Alex and Tom for treating me dinner and the gift.

i am so tired now..will write more next time....i am so thankful..i dont know how i can survive without firends. So thank you you guys!!! :)

We Belong Together

I really like this song, a friend likes Mariah alot, didn't pay attention to the lyircs until later........but at this very moment, it truly reflects how i am feeling inside...and i want to dedicate this song and its lyrics to those who might be feeling the same way too..cheer up and don't give up.

I didn't mean it when I said

I didn't love you so

I should have held on tight

I never should have let you go

I didn't know nothing,

I was stupid, I was foolish

I was lying to myself

I couldnt have fathomed

I would ever be without your love

Never imagined I'd be sitting

Here beside myself

Guess I didn't know you

Guess I didn't know me

But I thought I knew everything

I never felt



The feeling that I'm feeling

Now that I don't hear your voice

Or have your touch and kiss your lips

Cause I don't have a choice

Oh what I wouldn't give

To have you lying by my side

Right here cause baby



When you left I lost a part of me

It's still so hard to believe

Come back baby please cause

We belong together

Who else am I gonna lean on when times get rough

Who's gonna talk to me on the phone

Till the sun comes up

Who's gonna take your place

There ain't nobody better

Oh baby baby

We belong together... 

(kane, please give me a chance, cuz i just can't live without your love. )

Happy New Year to you all!!!

i had a wonderful and productive day ...in the first day of the year of the Dog..e

today i went to have lunch with friends and went to pacific mall....spent almost 3 hours there...so tired..we had to walk all the way from Canadian Tire to Market Village across the street while it was raining heavily outside...we had to brave the rain and wind..and the splashes from the cars..haha...what an experience...but i really enjoyed spending time with them...i bought a few DVDs...found the movie i've been wanting to watch ... "March of the Penguins"...watched a little bit at home tonite..like it alot :)

later tonite....couple more friends including rr, celina, james and eric came over for a little new year gathering.. and Neo jai jai was here to play with mui mui..although they haven't see each other for a long time..they seemed to get along really well whenever they met...i wish they could play together more often too..cuz i know mui mui enjoys the company of Neo.....they made such a nice couple..hehe...they also shared some doggie cake too... and for us ...we ended up finishing the radish cakes cindy made for chinese new year, the other water-chesnut cake and half of the "Year" cake..among the 6 of us...thanks Eric for frying the cakes..standing all the heat from the stove...and finally, i made the Creme Brulee i said i was going to make since Christmas...i didn't make the mix my own, but i did do some cooking..and most importantly creating the sugar top for each of them with the cool torch..haha..they all like their creme brulee to be really burnt..haha....i think they all liked it alot..although it is really heavy ....i really enjoyed their company too, the eating and the sharings that we had....thanks for coming....anyway..i need to go back to work tomorrow...i still have alot of laundry to fold before i can go to bed..anyway..wish u all a wonderful and prosperous new year!!

And to my friends and family in HK, i am sorry i could't spend new year with you...i wish i can come back to hk soon and spend some wonderful time with you guys....after a conversation with a friend from HK...i have to admit some of the things he said during that short conversation are right...i did have regrets and sometimes wish i never did what i have done to a person that i have always cared about....but sometimes things do happen for a reason..and very often not according to our plans...perhaps that is fate....and i have to live with the consequences of my actions (willingly or unwillingly), all these guilts, shame and regrets..and hopefully out of these experiences or these emotional roller-coasters we will learn to become a more mature and a better person...someone who treats oneself and others with more respect, perseverance and love...not to take things for granted..always be thankful and to treasure what we had because things or successful relationships dont come easily, a friend of mine recently told me he thought i was really lucky already..i think i am...but too bad i know it too late....and because of that...i want to let that special person to know that,  he will always be in my heart no matter what happens and i wish he will have a very happy and successful year and be able to reach the goals that he wants to achieve...but remember to get more sleep, cuz your eye bags are startiing to look bigger than your eyes now... :> 

Last but not least, thanks rr for giving mui mui a nice trim. :) 

luv u all!!