To the one i have hurt.....that i care for so deeply...He may never understand how much and that....i did this for the best....

i Wanted us to work....i told myself and you and EVERYONE  else We Would...

although deep down i knew we wouldnt and i was only hurting us both more and more by prolonging the inevitable...

you were Perfect i loved you and i still do..that doesnt change...i just Know we Arnt supposed to be together and we were making it harder and harder and harder for when it came time that we broke up....we had drawn close in EVERY way spiritually, mentally, physically...therefore making a strong soul tie....

i dont have any regrets about going into our relationship...i learned from you ALOT and have grown....

i still hold you in the highest esteem and respect...i will NEVER in my life say a cross word about you...

your an amazing man and im proud that i got to spend part of my life with you....

the only thing left that i am so afraid of is that you may never forgive me....or you may think i did you "dirty" or you might talk bad about me i DONT care about what anyone else says or thinks about me...i only care what you say and think about me through all this...i pray you dont regret being with me...or hate me...that kills me to think you might..it will mean MORE than you will ever know if we can stay friends and be brother and sister in christ and be able to be happy for the eachother whoever they end up with......

there is an absolute amazing woman out there for you that will knock you off your feet....faaar more perfect for you than i could ever be for you....

i love you and i wish VERY much for us to still be friends

FOREVER your friend and sister in Christ

~Angelica Leigh Nield~

 WHAT  IS  LIFE  WHEN  YOU  HAVE  EVERYTHING  BUT  YET  HAVE  NOTHING?

Is it Worth it?

Would i trade Beauty for Ashes if it brought me Closer?

I have everything going for me right now. but i feel empty.....i dont feel focused. or in the "real" world. i can look at someone and i dont really "completely" See "them". and then they say something intelligent. and i dont understand. im always in another diminsion of reality it seems...im more blessed and titled than 98% of the world. i have life some only dream of....God has blessed me beyond anything i could describe or relate. but i give back so little.

i talk to God as if i deserve MORE always MORE. or im unjustly treated. ya right. ME unjustly treated?  i dont think so.

im so confused about where my life is sposed to go right now. i scream to a father who constantly provides and cares for me.. but i dont hear him or feel him. i dont understand it. i perceive myself as dead even tho im QUITE alive. my life is FULFILLING but still there is a big piece NOT there.

HELP

MY HEART IS TORN IN LOVE......WHEN WHAT YOU WANT ISNT THERE WHAT DO    YOU DO....LIFE TAKES YOU THROUGH THINGS WHICH WILL GIVE YOU SCARS....  WHY DO WE ALWAYS WISH THE SCARS WERENT THERE WHEN IT SHAPES US TO WHAT WE ARE TODAY... TO THE MASTERPIECE GOD HAS IN MIND

I Heard the funniest thing as of late........

i was reading a bulletin over myspace (someone who will remain anonymous) stated that.... (i think these were his words or something to this effect)

"Girls with glasses turn me on and being a librarian is most definetly a plus."

ok i admit i kinda eaggerated the words in his quote. 

But i was falling on the floor laughing so hard i thought i was gonna puke when i read it.

NOT EXAGERATING (the laughing part)

SO THIS IS TRIBUTE TO THAT PERSON I HOPE U GET A GOOD LAUGH

*SHHH... QUIET.... RESPECT THE PLACE OF STUDY

I know im a geek but that doesnt give u any reason to make fun oof me

BOOK OVERLOAD..... HELP!!

The glasses are a contribution of Mikayela

New Nield BABY 

Number 10!

Shia Grace Nield

(Shia meaning: Most Beloved)

Born: May 9th, 8:21 am,

10lbs 8oz, 22in

it was a very FAST birth

Labor started about 2 in the morning, strong contractions

but not really painful at all hardly til the last 20 minutes of birth....

then in those last few minutes averything happened incredibly fast

Her water broke in the toilet and we started to bring her

 to the bedroom she yelled STOP that she felt the head

 this all happened within 1 minute after the water breaking

and then in all of 3 minutes the WHOLE baby was out!!!

my dad announced the sex a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and handed the baby to my aunt Misty who

was right by him so he culd help mom

OH!! i forgot to add the baby SMILED as soon as she came

out i SWEAR everybody saw it! (my Dad, Mom, Aunt Misty,

 Vicki, Mikayela and ME!)

AND THEN just as Crazy she opened her eyes within 2 minutes

after birth and was ACTUALLY focusing!!!!!! which is

COMPLETELY unheard of in births the babies

NEVER do that Early!!!!

all of the pics are within a

couple hours or

2 days after birth