=)

Sunday, June 29, 2008

  • blah. i've been sleeping so much these last few days.
    i need to start exercising. i need to lose.
    my vacations coming up soon.
    i plan on barely eating when i go there too,
    because any food i do eat will come from my own money.
    i'm too poor for that. i'm too fat for that.

  • i'm sick. my back hurts. my boobs hurt. i am tired always.
    i have a headache. i have a stomach ache.
    i'm hoping that just means my periods coming.
    if so, afterwards i will be going forward with a new plan.
    i need the control. i'm going to just spend my days..
    withering away.. fading away.. until all that is left,
    are the essentials. i have nothing else going for me.
    the world beyond my room is going on without me.
    i'm left behind and left alone and no one thinks of me,
    or how i feel about anything or what i want,
    so i'm going to take control of what i can again..
    it's the only thing that will make me feel alive.