Happiness!

God, I'm loving life so much right now. It's bittersweet, but generally wonderful. I don't even know where to start.

Jesus Christ Superstar is almost open. I'm proud of the show. I think it turned out pretty damn good. I don't really do much in it, and I hate my stupid head dress thing I have to wear, but it doesn't matter. It's a beautiful show. Wednesday is opening night and you can bet I'll be quite tipsy. I can't wait for it all to be over so I can get on to the next thing. I thought I'd have some free time but apparently not...I'm doing Smokey Joe's in Houston with a lot of the SHSU cast and we start rehearsal immediately after JCS. I feel like I'm backtracking a bit (can I PLEASE move on to another show?), but at least this time I'll be getting paid for it. And I won't feel like a lazy bum this summer.

I'm a junior...and I'm graduating next year. On time. I never thought I'd graduate on time! How in the world did this happen? I'm not ready! Not even close! I don't feel like I've had any of "the college experience" that everyone is supposed to go through. I'll spare you the details (which are a bit embarrassing). But...ugh. Why does everything happen to other people and not me? I need to start being more spontaneous. I try, I do. But I only have one more year in college and then what the hell am I going to do?

I am procrastinating! I have so much school shit due this week. After this week is over, I'll be in heaven!  

It's a great feeling, finally being in control of something you tried SO hard to be in control of before (unsuccessfully)!

I'm ecstatic!

Not a day goes by I don't feel some kind of guilt for not updating my xanga more often. I know I have a huge fan base who just sit by their computer all day waiting for my next entry. Well, your prayers have been answered! Here is my new genius post! Drum roll, please...

I can't believe I've been in Huntsville for two entire years! More than two years, even! I'm so OLD. That's ridiculously odd to think about. Do I like it here? Well, I'm just now starting to get used to it and accept it as HOME. Just now after two years. Which I don't think I'm happy about. Huntsville my home? Gee. How depressing. I can't wait to get out of here and head straight for New York City! Or any big city. Any will do, seriously. I need some culture, damnit. And some new interesting people. There's gotta be something better than this! There's gotta be something better to do!!!! And when I find me something better to do, I'm gonna GET UP, I'M GONNA GET OUT, I'M GONNA GET UP, GET OUT, AND DO IT! *clears throat* Man, I'm sorry guys, the Sweet Charity reference just fit so well. I had to do it. Aren't I hilarious?

I want an EDGE. I'm sick of being nice with a sweet voice. Everything about me is too soft with fuzzy edges and I want the sharpness. I need it for theatre, too. I just don't know how to get it. I cuss some, I drink some, I gossip some, I'm not a very nice person sometimes, but no luck. And with all that fuzziness, you'd think I'd be poetic, right? But you'd be wrong. I'm so far from poetic. I don't even get the positive aspects of the fuzziness. I've always wanted to be poetic. Gee.

You know, I really love talking about myself! It's so damn fun. I love lamenting about how I'm a tortured soul. Oh, my life is so hard, woe is me. That's why it's so wonderful to have a best friend (who is now officially 21) who puts up with my shit! I feel bad for talking about nothing but ME ME ME in this xanga, but what the hell, it's MY xanga, right? :)

So, uh, on that note....how is everyone? Good? Great. Hehe. :)

• Grace turns 21 in a month. I can't wait. (Because we all know that when Grace turns 21, I turn 21.)

• Do most people like Gin & Tonic? Just curious.

• I'm going to Austin this next weekend! This is fantastic on several levels.

• french kiss is the best romantic comedy in the history of romantic comedies! ah, kevin kline. he's my soulmate. "all men are bastards." "of course you know him. all you bastards know each other." "i get around as nature intended. in a car." "you people make my ass twitch."