Wow..

It's been a couple days since I updated on my journal.

Monday I didn't go to japanese practice because my mom became really ill and no I'm not lying, dammit. So I had to stay at home/drove to the store and get meds. :x someone doesn't have their permit yet.

Tues. It was real early at 7 or sumin and Aria called to say that we're going to Ana's house at 11 for foreign films so bring mine. I just got done watching Ichi the Killer, I thought it was awsome. Aria, picked me up and it took 40 mins to get there. We had a great time, even if they were a bunch of pervs. Gawd, zipping down my corset x.x touching on my carven *hides* We also had to pick up snacks on the way there. I also made the observation that she REALLY likes DBZ xD;; it was everywhere! I liked her room a lot though. We left at 4. I enjoyed the stay. ....I hate it when my mom says how she wants to die.......

Wends. I went to Japanese practice. Jesus Chirst she wasn't kidding when she said this was serious. I'm handed this 15 page thing I have to memorize on sentences, and learn the hiragana and katakana alphabet. SHIAT. Then there's the culture and history part of it all. So basically I have to learn Japanese 1 in 4 weeks. Whoo hoo >< wish my luck! Justin scares me. Jazz made me promise to stay away from him because I swear one day he's going to rape me and I'm not lying. He scares me that badly.

I hate men

I take that back because Jrockers never done anything bad to me. :D

I have Japanese practice tommorrow again. I need to study 15 sentences now >< 'Doh then the mall to get my gifts for my family. I'm soo butt poor. I hope my mom gives me some cash tomorrow....

Izumi is having a chirstmas party on chirstmas eve. I highly doubt I can go since...I celebrate on chirstmas eve xD;; Oh well eh?

Aishiteru <333

Hmm I put the wrong color on my last entry, oops...

I'm not sure what's in store today since it's 9:30. I didn't get to watch Ichi the Killer yet. I  was too tired last night and I always like watching movies like that at night. I'm going to start catching up on my reading BIG TIME, so it's taking forever.  I listen to my Air cd, its really good. I listen to it while I was going to bed and I went straight to sleep.I wish I had my cd player though....*cries*

Kyo is off of punishment

Totchi seemed upset last time I talk to her >>;; hope she's okay...

Thanks for being there Connie, it wasn't your fault you had to go..I'm okay now, I just need to talk. But thanks for caring.

Today, I must study japanese katakana, and hiragana ^o^! That's going to be fun! If I'm not too intimidated =/ which I probably will be. I'm going with Izumi so everything will be peachy eh? I can't wait till we go to competition, I'll get to meet the Prime Minister of Japan!!!

I was happy hear that, and I told my friends after school when we got the papers and they said "So? Who cares?" and brushed me off, *sigh* I thought it was pretty cool.

Then if I win in my group, we'll get prizes. I'm not sure. But afterwards we'll eat in a resturant and go to a store nearby called Tomateo where they sell japanese magazines *_* I'm saving all my cash!! I'll buy my weight in magazines, my friend Maria went last year,but she got the japanese version of 17 x.x;; its so different then the 17 here! It's like...bizarre...

The Prime Minister of Japan was some funky looking hair, but he still looks cool ^-^

I have to go to pratice for a lot of my winter break, but it's only an hour and I REALLY need it. Wish my luck! <3 I'll write all about it.

Love You*

Hmm today was a good day. I went out today and came back a couple hours ago. We went to the movies to watch Spainglish. I wouldn've liked it more if it wasn't for the ending, i was dissapointed. That and I kept getting out of the theater to see where my friend went to, I even got to go in the car with my friend and looked all over the strip mall to see where her butt was. Not that I mind though, Ana's car was a Benz and she reminds me of Eiri Yuki SO MUCH O.O!! Yay~ When we got back to the theater and get in our seat There she is! I was like WUT?!?!?! *ticked* but neh, i couldn't stay mad, I did get to ride in Ana's car ^-^. Then her sister came but she threw up.... ;o; so they had to get out and take her home and she never got to see the ending of it. So afterwards we saw her again and went to eat chicken *it was good* and then ran/walked to Barnes and Nobel. Wow, I kept seeing peoples underwearing like IZUMIS O.X eeeehh! But OH MY GAWD We went to Barnes and Nobel and I was like I'm looking in the movies section for the foreign films mmk? So I look around and guess what I saw?? ICHI THE KILLER! OMGOMGOMGOMG So I dropped all the other dvd's I wanted and went to the register and bought it and guess wut? I was a BUCK SHORT!! I was like about to cry and luckily Just came to my rescure and gave me a dollor *sigh of relief* So I got it!! I also got peoples gifts, well most I already had in my house to yeah. I gave Nam my Gravitation 3 so he can complete his collection *cries* i'll never be able to. and Izumi blank cds and her playlists.Wow....she was happy. And Holly well we were at Toys R Us and I found some dolls and I was about to give her this doll I knew she wanted but omg...I was a dollor short! *this was before ichi the killer* so getting a cheaper doll...was a sign that I was meant to have that DvD!! Then Nam gave me my gift which was an Air cd Virgin Suicide which I wanted since I love Air. Well I wanted Von Bondies, but they couldn't find it --;; So yeah, I was out of luck. We listen to the cd when Izumi was giving me a ride home and only the first song had words which made me sad since I love his sining ;o;. I guess next time I'll get the Eating, Sleeping cd then. One memorable moment I remember though...Would be when me,nam, and izumi got out of toys r us *everyone else was at barnes and noble* and when we walked there a car drove by filled with these mexicans and they were honkin their horn, winking at us. I was like WUT??!?! And Izumi flicked them off so the guy in the back flicked us off, which I thougth was halarious. So Nam was like Oh no! Oh no you didn't!! THEY WIT ME! and put his arms around us like he's our pimp, "Ya'll better back off!" xDDD Man that was awsome!

Well that's basically what happened with me today, I'm glad that I had a good time away from the computer. Tomorrow I have to go to the YMCA to practice my japanese and Izumi is coming, Nam can't...D: oh well. I better study my Katakana and Hiragana (at least the sounds tonight)

Love you!

hmmm My friend is pregnant, bye bye pact.

Chirstmas List-

+Kyo's Poem Book

+Jrock Cds *I wont get those unless I give Izumi her gift!!!*

+Love

+Reese's Cereal

+A person to RP with

+Mittens

+Various *cds that are too much to list and are american*

+A New CD Player *mine broke*

+Foriegn Film (Ichi The Killer, The Returner)

+Money for Toshiya Cosplay

+Depression Medicine

+Dropped a pant size by the time I get back to school.

+A new attitude

+Fishnets

+Emo Glasses *the ones I have now are loose on one side...*

+Big Thigh High Boots *drools*

+Actual Pajamas

+ A Hot Topic Card

+A way to put my life in a repair shop and fixed it

+Gothic Lolita Magic ^__^

+Boy Meets Boy

+My Friends's Dreams to come true

+ A Very Merry Christmas

Love you all

Hmm, I should've wrote more on my last journal entry, but I wanted to see if it worked right. I'm proud of my layout.

I'm so scared, but why? I've changed for much, good and bad. Everyone does, I know, but noone likes it? I feel as though my friends gave up on me, they're tired of putting up with me and I wouldn't blame them. I regreat telling them any of my plans. I feel as though when they ask what's wrong, they don't WANT to hear it. That my problems are either depressing/non exsistant and I don't appreciate them, but without them I think I would be in worse state neh? I really need someone to talk to for my problems >>:: like they sit there and don't talk back, no arguments or advice, just to let all my frustrations out, but that's what a journal is made for huh?

Then again, some days I know they care for my like Thursday I almost cried. Aria gave everyone their gifts and when it was my turn, I opened it and it was Hello Kitty, she told me to open the box and in there was a picture frame of all of them together. That was the most heart warming gift ever. My eyes were starting to water and luckily she was in a hurry to go, but I gave her a BIG hug. I take them for granted and that's sad...

Chirstmas is coming soon, I need to buy one more a friend a gift. I don't know what, and I'm only made presents for Totchi, Tiffany, and Kyo. Twin sis better like hers! I made her a Miyavi Tshirt, 5 cds she wanted for quite some time, and unfortunatly I have to give her the other gift WITH the bday gift I already got her that cost 150$ daaaaang xD; Can't tell though since it's a surpise!! She better lyke! I really am considering of going to go school in DC because my zoned school is Shaw which I don't want to go and I think I need a break here in reality. Not like just school, but this whole place, to start anew and figure things out in my head. So I'm asking my mom is I can be with my twin sister. I don't know if it next semester, but next year...I think I would love to, just to take a breathe out of troubles in life.

It's so hard to call the people I care about nowadays, except Tiffy. I can call her and talk to her till midnight and still don't want to get off the phone. I don't want to bother Totchi a lot either /)_(\ she's in Kentucky right now, I wonder if it's okay to call her or if she'll mind? I've been calling Kyo lately too...she makes me sad though she doesn't mean to. I love takling to her on the phone and she's so funny to talk to, but now...it's awkard. She said she likes me, no scratch that out. She LOVES me and wants to go out with me? But she's so close to me. I'm also not ready for another relationship...*sigh* I put a lot of burden I guess, I think this entry has gone far enough. Though I have more to talk about. It's okay.

With love.

Ps. Good Luck Akai on your revenge over the weekend. Kill Bill Style xD!