lynz_lou_14's Xanga

Friday, October 20, 2006

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 02:23:33 GMT

wow....so its been over a month since i have updated....how time flies...

Im heading home this weekend to spend time with my family especially my grandma... I miss her...

School is going good...im in an amazing group called the Campus Crusades for Christ ...I love being surrounded by people who share the same beliefs and are supportive...

its like 230 am so if this makes no sense im sorry...haha

Im suppose to audition for country tonite in TN on nov. 2

umm..ill update when im more awake...lol im watching The Phantom of the Opera..

ok thats all for now ya'll

Love ya

God bless...

once again sorry if this makes no sense

Monday, September 11, 2006

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 12:28:00 GMT

Today is Sept. 11, Please take time today and have a moment of silence for the men and women who lost their lives on that tragic day and please keep their families and loved ones in your prayers. I just can't believe its been five years since it happened. It seems so unreal. I remember being in HS sitting in class when I found out..and then coming home that night to watch the planes crashing into the the twin towers over and over again. I just remember being in shock and thinking how could this happen....

I watched a video a couple of days ago that i would like to share with you its cute and sad at the same time but i urge you to check it out.

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?p=9%2F11+babies&ei=UTF-8&b=1&oid=2397749a1a907f8e&rurl=news.yahoo.com&vdone=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.yahoo.com%2Fvideo%2Fsearch%3Fp%3D9%252F11%2Bbabies%26ei%3DUTF-8

Monday, August 28, 2006

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 23:54:22 GMT

Before you leave or look away...I encourage you to read this whole thing. ~~~ A time comes in your life when you finally get it ... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH!!! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with...and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK...and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can. ~~~

i believe every word

God bless

Lynsey

HELPLESS..................................................

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 13:39:14 GMT

Well my gma just got done with surgery....and my aunt called with bad news....they found out my gmas condition was a lot worse then they imagined...they found out she has Stage 4 cancer...which if any of you know its the worst!

I dunno what to do

im sick...

Keep her in your prayers plz

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 10:49:12 GMT

O Christ Jesus,
when all is darkness
and we feel our weakness and helplessness,
give us the sense of Your presence,
Your love, and Your strength.
Help us to have perfect trust
in Your protecting love
and strengthening power,
so that nothing may frighten or worry us,
for, living close to You,
we shall see Your hand,
Your purpose, Your will through all things. In Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.

My grandma goes into surgery tom. im scared but i know God will be with her. I love my gma sooo much she has been there for me through everything she is my biggest fan!

I know how powerful prayer is so I have this prayer i would love if you could pray also.

Almighty God, our heavenly Father, graciously protect SARAH in her surgery. Fill her heart with confidence, that though she may be anxious, that she may put her trust in you. Give wisdom and skill to her doctors and nurses, and enable them to serve your purposes of love and healing; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen

I have a lot going on in my life. More then I think I can handle so please pray for me to have the strength to handle anything that comes my way.

I love you all and will keep things updated...thanks to all that has been there for me and my family

I LOVE YOU ALL GOD BLESS

WHEN YOU THINK THINGS CANT GET ANY WORSE...........THEY CAN!!!!

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 08:55:45 GMT

I just got home from asherella's house this morning...and mom came outside to tell me that they arent sure my gma is going to be able to have surgery b/c they did an ECG and found that she has an artery blocked. I mean seriously... Cancer and now something wrong with the heart! Mom said my gma was crying all day yesturday. I wish there is something I could do to make things better.

Then to make matters worse...I think jason and I are over he is coming over tonight to talk about things to see if we can fix our relationship. Ever since he started college our relationship has went down hill...he isnt the man i fell in love with ........I love him so much...i dunno what life would be like with out him...I feel like if i dont have him i am nothing...that life just stops....

I dunno.....i dunno if i am strong enough to deal with all of this...I am already wanting to break down....i just feel like running away...but i know that wont solve anything. How long do I have to go keeping a smile on my face ....like everything is ok?

**Im looking to you Lord for strength...PLEASE HELP ME....I cant do this alone**

Please pray for me and my family...

I love you all

God bless

Lynsey

sadness...lol....

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 00:51:06 GMT

I am in TN right now and im loving it. All i am really going to say is Gay people make me sad or should i say gay guys...Now let me justify i do not have a problem with homosexuals...it is just that it makes me sad because i was at my cousins show tonight and one of their dancers is sooo hott lol and he is gay...and that means i could never have a chance with him lol hahahaha not that i would...but i am just saying all the gay guys are soo hott...and that doesnt leave us girls with many options lol.....im screaming inside "WHY???" lol but thats all i have to say i will be back to boring ohio on weds...

So until then....

Love ya all

Miss ya lots but i dont miss ohio

God bless!

Lynsey

Love is not a MAYBE thing.....

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 22:39:20 GMT

"The heart is a place where we live our passions. It is frail and easily broken, but wonderfully resilient. There is no point in trying to decieve the heart. It depends on our honesty for its survival."

I love this quote....everything about it is so true.

The sad thing is sometimes love is not enough....its like no matter how much you love someone...if its just not working there is nothing you can do but just be grateful they were in your life.

well thats all for now...im beat...ttyl love ya all

mwah

God bless

Lynsey

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 00:48:01 GMT

I was at work and this song came on....and i have heard it b4 but never really listened to the words..but i did tonight...and this is what i want my guy that i marry to be like.

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

[Chorus:]
I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life <-- my fav. line

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above

[Chorus]

I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, Remembered the things that you said

why does love have to be so complicated? why cant we just type in a comp. what we want and out pops our true love...haha

i wish i had someone to tell me they are my biggest fan... and went around telling ppl that they are the lucky one for being with me...

i just dont understand...am i expecting to much out of a relationship..i mean isnt it normal to want to be loved...i mean i love being held its my fav. thing ..makes me feel safe....

but guys these days are such jerks...i pray to God that he will send me someone ...that has the same views and beliefs...and can love me for who i am...not who they want me to be....and they have to sing whether it be in the car shower...etc lol

its hard...cuz there are like a bizzillion ppl in this world...and we are suppose to find one...like im ever going to meet all those ppl...haha

i would love to get married here in the next couple of years but i doubt that will happen...or maybe i dont really want to?!?!.... i just love the thought about being married...of being so in love...but what is love....? Love is suppose to make you happy...not sad... i want to make them happy like they make me happy..

I just want my soul mate... my friend dawn thinks she has found hers...so why cant i find mine?

sorry to ramble...love just boggles my mind...

plus i atleast wanted one entry to be kinda happy...

Love you all

God bless.

MWAH!

Monday, July 24, 2006

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 17:51:09 GMT

When everything seems to be going okay....something bad has to happen...

my mom found out today she not only has cysts on her ovaries but she went to day for a mamogram and they found out she has multiple cysts in both breasts...

They will find out later this week if its cancer

I cant lose my mom...she is my whole world!!

please pray for her!

Also my gma will be going into surgery soon for her cancer...so please keep her in your prayers

i dont even wanna know what else can go wrong...

I love you all

God bless!

Lynsey