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Lyza_Beth
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Name: eBeth
Country: United States
State: Washington
Metro: Seattle
Birthday: 8/10/1970
Gender: Female
Interests: Drums ... Coffee ... Jesus. What else do I need?
Expertise: I am an expert in nothing. I struggle, live, laugh and am constantly craving.
Occupation: Crisis management
Industry: 911 - South KingCounty
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  xoxoeBeth
ICQ:  26318011
Yahoo:  eBeth0870
Member Since:
9/3/2005
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| Disaster avoided ... cue reality
So ... when I said I'd update more frequently I really meant more than a semi-annual report, but clearly not "frequently". What can I say? I'm still adjusting to my schedule as it morphs and changes, but the settling will come after the next couple of weeks and I get into the groove of graveyard life. My 2 days of phase 4 were stressful and not-such-a-big-deal all at the same time. I think the stress of it comes from other trainers telling you you're ready to go it alone, but not feeling it yourself. All the tools are there, you have resources galore and still the safety net of knowing that someone else is going to bail you out before you cause harm to anyone - but still, it's supposed to be all you. My first couple of hours were a disaster of clumsiness and continuous second-guessing of myself as I sat there being observed by someone who had never seen me in action. The comfort in that is supposed to be that there is no pre-conceived idea on their part, so it's supposedly an objective opinion - but the other half of that is little things your other trainers have gotten used to and a new trainer may see as annoying. It's basically not a fun 2 days, but it went by rather quickly and then it was done. I finished at about 1pm on my second day and was "released" without fanfare, and spent the last 3 hours of that day sitting alone... and feeling a little weird about it. You get used to riding shotgun with another person, or having another someone else ride the shotgun with you. It made me feel like answering the phone and saying "911...please don't be having an emergency." To some extent, that's faded... but it's still a pretty big deal to be sitting there alone. I've been through a lot of training and have come a really long way since my first day at ValleyCom. In some ways I celebrate the freedom and accomplishment of being a full-fledged call receiver, and in other ways I miss the safety and newness of academy. Know what gets rid of that feeling? Seeing another academy class come in and start. Suddenly I did not wish that weekly stress on anyone, nor did I miss being in that constant state of intestinal ill. Not being new is pretty sweet.
The biggest heartache of the release has come in losing a couple of my academy mates. One of them hardly deserves an ounce of my sadness because she just got fed up with the process and decided to not come to work because of it. If you're that miserable and are sure something in the system is holding you back and it's so bad you're going to quit, why do you not at least tell someone that? Maybe they won't care and they'll tell you to quit... maybe they'll try to fix it and you won't be interested... but really, to just not show up to work without a word and basically sever your ties and make it impossible to ever use ValleyCom as a reference just seems stupid to me. On the other side of that tragedy is the sadness and shock that one of my other academy sisters was just let go yesterday, and it was completely unexpected. I'm taking it personally because I care about her. I'm mad because it seems to me she was completely let down and then made to think they were going to try and make it right, only to blind-side her by terminating her. But mostly I'm sad because I'm going to miss her. Connecting with people isn't always easy to do. Unless you run in the same circles, have a ton of things in common or at least bond over some sort of tragedy that cements you to them for life... keeping up a relationship with someone you don't see all the time is hard. Struggling together for 3 months in the classroom and then celebrating success with each other out on the floor was something I loved and don't really have anything to compare it to. Knowing that I have lost a day-to-day visit with someone I care about, and that its happening could have been avoided so easily make me sadder than I can explain. In the history of the place I work, it's known to happen and some just will chalk it up to the harsh reality of the business, but business aside - why do you get rid of a fantastic person who is compassionate, decent and willing to put in the work to correct whatever issues the powers-that-be think she may have? What happened to the "we want you here, and we're willing to work with you to keep you here..."? What I really am not looking forward to is hearing the spin that gets put on her termination and how it will likely get painted in a way that is nothing close to the truth.
So - in short, celebrate with me in my accomplishment, and commiserate with me in the realization that the workplace in general is a sucky reality all its own. What's the number you call for that kind of emergency?
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| Yet another chance to fail....
So, in the last 2 months I haven't had to deal with the weekly dread of a test that could potentially have ended my career. I'm not gonna lie... it's been nice to not have that hanging over me from week to week. I am just 2 days away from possibly the end of training and the big step into flying solo at the console. I go in to work bright and early at 4am tomorrow and Monday, then I spend the next two days sitting with someone completely new to me and their job is to objectively look at how I do and see it they feel I'm ready to handle things on my own. If I get the green light, then I'm officially not a trainee anymore. If they have concerns, I'll get another week or so with my trainer and then will try the solo flight again at a later time. There's no race, and the supervisors all about releasing you when you're ready - but I'm pretty sure I don't want to try and have them say "uh, sorry ... no". It's like I'm at the point where it all makes sense and I think for the most part I can do it - and it's not like I'm going to be released and then be isolated from any help I might need - but I think the safety net has gotten pretty comfortable and I'm afraid of not having it under me.
One of the girls in my class decided not to show up for work on Thursday. Just didn't come in. No call, no warning .... just a no show. At first I think people were worried about her and were thinking something had happened, but then when it was discovered she was feeling pressure and just decided not to come in, she pretty much had made some enemies. Training is hard, there is no question about it. It's easy to feel pressured and scared and frustrated. It's easier for some people to project those feelings onto others and make their own issues someone else's fault. Honestly, I don't understand that and while I can totally understand the pressured feelings she must have been dealing with - - you can't just not show up to work! Not in any situation is that ok, but especially in a job like this where people are relying on you to be available to keep your commitments because other people's lives can literally depend on it. Of course someone else is going to cover a shift when someone doesn't show up... but I really don't get how someone can be that selfish and mad and yet that cowardly at the same time. If a job is making you so miserable that you need to quit, then quit. Why makes yourself look bad and get a reputation and a horrid recommendation down the road by just skulking off into oblivion? Believe me, I've thought about it. Not for a while, but early in training it was miserable going in there and feeling like I was doing nothing right. I just chose to handle it differently and even I had a rocky couple of days because I maybe didn't choose the very best way to handle something, but it got dealt with, I moved on and now I'm facing the big one known as ... "Phase Four". < cue scary music >
My hope is that it will be 2 days of business as usual and, while I don't expect to impress anyone, I want to be able to confidently do what I know to do and not feel pressured to the point of making mistakes that are uncharacteristic of me. I don't need to be perfect, but I want to be competent and relaxed. I love what I do and I love a lot of the people I get to work with. I have resources and training behind me to help solve problems I may encounter, and I want to be able to remember all of that when I'm facing those 20 critical hours. If you think of it, say a prayer sometime between 6am and 4pm on Tuesday and Wednesday. Once Wednesday is over I'll be heading up to camp until Friday, so the next time I post here, I may officially be out of training. Such a journey it's been.
Later ~
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| Change...busyness...updates...SUMMER!
Let's see - April, May - JUNE. I have officially gone long enough without updating something that I likely have lost anyone who was crazy enough to subscribe to my very own blog. When one's life takes on such a drastic change (as mine did starting back in February) part of what changes is the availability of time to update what is going on, and also anything interesting actually going on. My days have become a collection of sometimes tragic and often ridiculous calls from people who think the problem they are having right in that moment is the most important thing. I get up at 2:15, leave by 3:15 and start taking calls at 4am. You'd be surprised to know how much trouble is actually happening in the wee hours. Someone wise once told me "sin loves the darkness" and that is so true. When someone calls to tell me her son and his girlfriend are in the driveway fighting and she's afraid of waking the neighbors my first response, in the privacy of my mind and safety of my mute-switch, is "Why is your 13 year old son outside at 4am?? Tell him to get the hell in the house!!" People's lack of brain cells still baffles me. Other people who have been in this line of work are less surprised by the idiocy but also less compassionate. I need to already start guarding myself - I don't want to become so cynical and stop showing grace, but it's hard to do.
On July 1st and 2nd I will spend my shift without a trainer by my side, but will be watched by a trainer who hasn't spent any time with one-on-one me yet. They want an impartial and objective opinion I guess. When you sit for 10 hours a day with someone there is a friendship that develops and they need a neutral party to do the final phase. The goal of those 2 days is to be able to show in 20 hours of call-taking that you are capable of handling what could come your way. If it goes well, I'm officially released to fly solo and I will have successfully completed a pretty rigorous training program. What I like is that I'm at the point where the book knowledge and the protocol are now making sense enough to feel natural. You can read about something you know nothing about and learn enough about it to pass a test... and then you can practice routines of process until they become habit, but when those two things are combined with an understanding of the why behind them and the outcome of the proper application - it makes something that has seemed often too much for me to grasp feel like something I can do with confidence. I believe this is called learning, and no matter what your age, it feels pretty good when you accomplish it.
For now I am starting the new grieving process over the loss of my summer. For the first time in 14 years I won't get to be the camp nurse for 6+ weeks. Giving that up to someone else...giving up the freedom of summer in general and accepting a new reality of my schedule and responsibilities is hard. Moving on to something new, better, or just different - - changing what you've done or what you've been expected to do because you're choosing to walk a different path - - it's all life. People get disappointed by choices others make when those choices force them to have to change something as well. Life can't be lived effectively on the expectations of others. Growth can happen with a careful laid out plan, but it can also happen when we jump into the unknown of something and see where it takes us. I'm not talking about flipping a coin or asking the psychic hot line - but finding something you think you might want to do, pursuing it, committing to it and following it where it leads can be a simply fantastic ride. I'm nearing the end of an endeavor that was really harder than I thought it would be and that upset the lives of some people who didn't understand why out-of-the-blue I was going into something like this ... but it's awesome, and to anyone else who is about to jump and not sure how the landing will be ... take a leap of faith and try something. If it turns out not to be what you thought... try something else. And if it turns out to be horrible and you need help, call 911!! :)
Peace out and happy summer to all. I'll update more often... I promise.
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| And then there were ... 6 !! Yesterday was another one of those milestone moments here ay ValleyComm. The 5 girls I have grown to love spending time with all successfully made it through their practical exam and I was the only one left to participate in the tortuous event. I likened it to a long walk to the gas chamber as I walked into the training room for the last time as a student. The process had been making each of the girls physically ill and emotionally unstable. I wish there was a way I could articulate the process and do it justice. Hearing how it works, people think " oh... so you're taking 12 fake 911 calls. Big deal. " Yes, that was the structure, but the setting and finality of it all brought a dimension to it that made it the hardest thing to date. Memorizing all the facts and names and rules of addressing and type codes and policies was hard at the time, and pulling those facts out from memory once a week for a make or break test was the hurdle to clear each week, and the culmination of the final exam was pretty huge... but the practical brings with it stories of classroom-successful call receivers who simply couldn't clear the last hurdle. As I walked into the room I could hear the echo of the voices of seasoned workers here that had been reminding us of those who fell at the last part. Encouragement isn't a gift everyone has, apparently. I won't go into the calls I had to take, but I was sweating, nauseated and on the verge of throwing up the whole time. Once finished, the 4 facilitators had to meet together and score everything I did or didn't ask... what I typed and how I typed it... how fast or slow I was ... if I chose the appropriate priority level for each thing... basically everything except what I was wearing. So I sat for nearly 45 minutes not knowing if I passed or not, but with the knowledge that if I didn't I would have to somehow shake that off and go through the process again in a last-ditch effort to save my job. When Lori walked into the com room where I was sitting with my Valley Com-assigned mentor for support, I was as close to publicly vomiting as I have ever been while not pregnant. She simply hugged me and said "Congratulations" ... and I promptly burst into uncontrolled tears and was overcome with the relief of the stress I have apparently been carrying around. It was weird and wonderful and very surreal. I went into the bathroom and called my mom who said, as she has been saying for 3 months now... "I had no doubt you were going to do fine." I kind of hate that saying, by the way. So -- all that to say: I am officially finished with the academy part of my 3 month 911 career. The remainder of my training will be 8+ weeks with a one-on-one trainer who will ease me into the reality of live calls and the crapshoote that happens each time you answer the phone here. Depending on how I do, it would be just 8 weeks, or as many as 12. As this point I don't really care... I MADE IT THROUGH ACADEMY!!! | | |
| Go Team!
Oddly enough, at my still-fairly-new and super-grownup job... it's Spirit Week! This is actually National Telecommunicators Week, so you should all be a little more mindful of and generally thankful to the people on the other end of the phone when you dial 911. I don't mean me... at least not yet. The highlights of the week have been eclectic, for sure.
* Monday: Hawaiian Day - I got to type my first non-training 911 call next to a trainer. she talked... I typed. It was scary as CRAP, but frighteningly fun
* Tuesday: Sports Day - I got out of my pj's and into some really comfortable sweats and a hoodie for the day. I learned that KFC takes pot pie reservations
* Wednesday: Pajama Day - i slept in sweats and then got into pj's for the day. I attended an awards ceremony for a couple of call receivers and was impressed by their accomplishments and proud to work at the same place. The King County Medical Director was there, and a Fire Chief, and KING 5 news... and I was in pj's. There goes my award chances.
* Thursday: Camo Day - i kept referring to this as commando day, and thankfully no one dressed accordingly. The big fat deal for today was that I took and PASSED MY WRITTEN FINAL EXAM!!! All 6 of us passed, and passed well. The 2nd to last hurdle has been cleared. I almost have successfully completed my training... and I am even starting to feel ready to the job.
* Friday: Police/Fire/EMS Day - today people will dress in their fire station sweatshirts and Bacon Bowl hats and show support for law enforcement and fire/medic services. I am dressed "business casual" today because 7 people from Admin (including the director of the center) are taking us to a 2-hour lunch to celebrate us passing and to officially welcome us to Valley Comm... now that we haven''t flunked out. I feel a little bit important today. :)
The weekend hold busyness and volleyball and a lighter study load that previous weekends. I'll be putting the finishing touches on my reference book that will be my lifeline and guide to get me through my practical exam on Tuesday. All of that is days away though. Tonight I will doing some semi-serious partying with the 5 other girls who have battled hard and totally earned the right to be called a big fat deal!! Don't worry ... they aren't at all offended by that.
PARTY AT DOCK STREET!!!!!!!
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