Weblog

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

  • Well... I have all these thoughts in my head and i really just need to write it out. because driving around is only bringing more confusion. so here it goes i guess. im struggling with faith, and with trust. I know God can do it, and i know that it is His plan for me to go to Scotland, but the fact of the matter is, i added up how much it is going to cost for me to live there monthly, and well for a year. which is about how long i would like to be there, but wirth figuring out finances, and the fact that my hours got cut back at work and im barely, and i mean barely working. it's not like i'm really saving much money, and the fact that my job is an hour from my house so a majority of my paycheck, especially now is paying for gas. to be real, i need to save up more than what my car just cost. crap... I have applied to 22 places, yes sounds lame, but im trying, and well i havent heard back from one. it doesn't help that the economy succcks right and it's mid summer, so seriously who would be hiring right now anyway. im screwed if you look at this whole thing on paper. but like i said i know God can do it, i know He can, i just need to Trust that He will. I am going to fundraisers like car washes, and go to restaurants and host nights, as well as send out support letters. And am hoping to find a job in Edinburgh, but even with that I'd only be making about 5.50 pound an hour, which is 11.00 here. which is good, better than min. wage but only allowed to work 22 hours a week. So it could help with rent, but that is about it. this is hard. i know, i just need to trust.

    on another note, im falling in love. and am scared of getting hurt, because im leaving.

Friday, June 06, 2008

  • Wow. It literally seems unreal. pinch me?

    God is amazing let me just tell you. He is so completly faithful to fulfill promises. Not just in His word but promises in mine and your own lives. He is amazing, and is so full of blessings. I was really starting to get discouraged about Scotland too, but then God just slapped me in the face. I was doubting everything about three days ago, and I get home from work, and I have an email from a pastor of Calvary Chapel Edinburgh, which is in danderhall on the outskirts of Edinburgh, it's a congregation of about 15 people, as many of the churches are throughout the United Kingdom. But yes, I believe that God wants to do a revival in Scotland, and it be put back on the foundation that it was originally laid upon- Christ. So, to get to the point of this story, the e-mail from Pastor Dan included that He would like to talk to me over the phone soon, to see if God is leading something through all of this. They need a worship leader- which is crazy, but I felt like about a month ago God was leading me too, I even prayed with Jamie about it. crazy huh! but yeah, also they don't have any yoth ministry right now, and my heart is so for the youth, especially over there. There are also He said other places that may need to be filled, and so the reason for our upcoming phone call will place me somewhere it seems, and then know when, how long, and what I'll be doing. God is so FAITHFUL!! He gave me Genesis 12:1-3 and Psalm 16:11 a while back, and it just seems that it is all coming together. So now, I find a big peace in Isaiah 58:11. dang, GOD IS GOOOOOOD!!! but if you could keep all that in prayer that'd be amazing!

    woooohoooooooot!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

  • im almost graduated

    i think after regis last comment, i need an update.
    im graduating bible colledge in a week. crazy.
    life starts, no more going back to scchool, i now will work for the rest of my life
    exciting.

    regis move out here sooner, i'll be your roomie! haha
    california and i miss you.

    i'll actually give an update after graduation, ill have what it called time on my hands.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

  • red bull for the wings thats all i drink.

    life. 2 words, all God.

    this semester has been amazing, i was going through my old journal from before the semester and my prayer for this semester was that God will just speak to me, that i wanted this semester to be me sitting at the feet of Him, waiting on Him, and just listening. And man oh man, God is speaking, it's so evident, so amazing, words can't explain Him. He is more than awesome, more than amazing, He is my all, my sustainer be glorified. wow .

    life is crazy though, very busy. trying to juggle school, homework, community service, work, and friends, is wow haha. but it's all good, i can't believe it's already almost half way through march. REEEEGIS comes next saturday and i couldn't be more excited! me jamie and kaysh can't wait reg! we are going on an adventure forrr shiiiizzle. hahaha. yay. but seriously i can't wait. The weather has been gorgeous here, and normally im not a huge fan of the sun, well thats a lie cause i love being bohemian haha but the heat kills. but i actually am really enjoying it and just want to be outside all the time. I turn old a month from tomorrow. 20 weiiiiiiiird. haha. oh shoot. crazy crazy. oh and im literally ooooover my dislocated clavical, it's becoming a nusance. i feel like my left side got hit by a truck after physical therapy yesterday. I wonder how many times the chiropractor is going to have to put it back in place before my muscles will allow it to stay. so far it's been 4 times.. and it doesn't feel all that great if you're wondering.

     

    PEACE, LOVE.. WAIT ON HIM. :)

Thursday, February 21, 2008

  • I'm back at ccbc murrieta. yup.

    Well, I'm not going to lie at all, this semester is different in a lot of ways.
    it's weird in the fact that i went from York, which is not all crazy strict, back to rules rules rules.
    and it's like i don't know there is something missing, i guess the setting isn't so small, i mean it is a small semester, but for murrieta, there are like 275 students, where in York there were 60. I miss the small setting, where you got to hang out with more people, and be able to get close to more people.
    but murrieta is good in ways too-
    classes are amazing, especially Isaiah.
    and I don't know i feel like  there is more of a closeness to God here.
    but there can be a closeness anywhere it's just on you to do obtain it.
    it's weird that in 3 months, i will no longer be going back to bible college, or for regis, bible codege.
    i'll be done, and moving on with the next step in life and for as much my parents, and even i want to go back to school and become a nurse, a big part of me is held back at that right now.and I mean a Big part. I feel like those are my plans, and not God's, and a lot is being revealed to me lately, to not rely on my own but to look to God's plans. I mean God is speaking even for grad class randomly i was chosen to teach on the plan of God something i feel i really need to rely on and dwell on.
    this is long but i have so much inside me, that i havent let out, lately i've been this to myself person about what is going on with me, and i don't think it's such a good thing. so for now...i'll end.

    oh and one other thing: trust-