My Mount Sinai Mission

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Posted by: macastat Original: 1/19/2006 4:01 PM Comments: 8 eProps: 11 Read Comments Post a Comment Back to Your Xanga Site

Who gave the eProps?
2 eProps from: DangerousPersona VaporousVenom pumpernickel_rye narniakingz CosmicMonkey fratmom traumamomma rachelmacasaet BIGHAIR_lowmorals Vegdam BlindManBrokenMirror cynicalcries OpaZazzyZen WailenHalen18 DDKEGGS jcmonogram TheUnstained SunnyCalifornia nostoryrob tragically_chic quilldriver halomutiny Monomyth TheTheologiansCafe camille_j FelineEnigma roxieren

Thursday, January 19, 2006

EDITs below

Sometimes Seconds

Short Film of life at Mt. Sinai, a level 1 trauma center, where I have worked for almost eleven years... a home I am poised to leave... a family I am about to embrace... as I depart.

It has been like a medical mission, to the far reaches of Chicago's wild West-side... the murder capital of this fulgent American city.

Our patients are often the poorest the city coldly holds... some without even a home, a family, some.... without even their sanity.

It is an environment where the absurd is expected... and the norm is a surprise.

We can be filled with rage, sometimes even hate, malice, selfishness....

But the wonderment, when compassion,

hope

and even love

bleed through the absurdity...

WATCH THE SHORT FILM

[stop music above]

A l l e y i n a S t a t e o f R o t a t i o n

[do you see the weird pyramid?]

I played Cold Water and Cannonball tonight at Slainte's open mike... I couldn't internalize enough, I think, and I struggled with the songs... A few times I did feel the energy of the song, especially with the guitar. It went ok. A music buddy said he really dug the guitar playing tonight.

I asked the same friend, where his more peaceful persona took leave to (he seems resigned to his latest "dark side"... slightly splenetic?). We paused and I said, I think you left him walking the waters of the Kickapoo. It was a hard notion to dispute.

(Christopher Reeves said this better than me) As we move through these Earthly trails... we must occasionally pause, breath, and allow all that we know to quiet. We must then ask ourselves... is what I do.... does this trail that I keep true... fill me with bliss and inspiration, creation, and love? What is my motivation? What is my purpose?

For me it is simple, though rarely easy....

humble yourself to spirit, by what ever name you choose

connect with it's shared love, and bliss

and you have converged again ...

onto the right path

Female Feline in Profile

Unusual Shades in the Men's Restroom at Clark's

Meniscus

Illegal Photo of Psychic

Three hours later, not any more tired, kinda wired, she learned about the worst of me, still she smiled... I, well I, despite the rhythm of my feet... only heard the melody.

Tree Reaching for Lunar Love

macastat

Evading Detection

Ninety Degrees

My Shadow Embosses The Brick Surface

Beneath A Window of Change

Slow Zone Ahead

Saintly Bars

WATCH THE SHORT FILM

Beyond all pain, face change with a loving mind and adapt into your infinite self.

Tony

Posted 1/19/2006 4:01 PM - 8 comments

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8 Comments

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There is so much captured in that filim ... all raw and beyond words.

Posted 1/17/2006 9:14 PM by DangerousPersona - reply

I see so many emotions in that short film. It was really good.The guitar accompaning was nice.

Peace and Love:)

This song, 'In The Garden' is Van Morrison right? If not sure sounds like him.. a very nice song.

Posted 1/18/2006 12:00 AM by VaporousVenom - reply

Gracious, leaving Chicago? You're probably beyond ready. We were too, but we love to go back. It's saner here, slower, on the border of Indiana and Louisville, easier in so many ways. We lived on the wild west side of Chicago for about a year, moving into my husband's industrial building to renovate for artisans and artists loft space. It seemed like a good idea at the time. In hindsite, the nightmare it actually was. Still, nearly every memory is a good memory from a distance. It was interesting that's for sure. I spent a day in the jail in that neighborhood, chained to a wall for an hour, a lunatic tenant who was trying to get out of paying rent having accused me of attacking him after he attacked me. I'm 5'4", he's a full foot taller than I. My husband nearly had a heart attack. I sat in jail all day with hookers and drug addicts, numb and freaked out at the same time. When one of them finally got up the nerve to ask my cellmate what the heck I was doing there, and I answered that one of my tenants had accused me of attacking him, the whole cell block fell silent and they changed the subject, my cell mate moving imperceptibly away from me on the hard steel bench we shared. THEY were afraid of me. It's right up there with the most bizarre experiences of my life. Somehow I don't think that sort of thing would happen here. But I should probably knock on some wood anyway.

Posted 1/18/2006 12:20 AM by pumpernickel_rye

- reply

I can feel the memories in that short film. The film makes me share in your feelings that leaving is a little bitter sweet. Moving on usually is.

"For me it is simple, though rarely easy...." - Yes.

What are your plans after leaving the ER? I am curious.

Posted 1/18/2006 6:53 AM by narniakingz - reply

What is it that I am looking at with the hook? It's too hard to tell for me, and one other question, if it is an illegal picture of a psychic, wouldn't she know??? haha.

CosmicM

Posted 1/18/2006 8:02 AM by CosmicMonkey

- reply

wow. I am constantly amazed at the level of your talent. Every time I look at your pictures, I see a new perspective. The movie feels slightly melancholy. Maybe that's just me...wishing I were there with all my favorite people. As much as Sinai can be an emotional/physical/psychological pit, it still feels like home. And as much as our patients can take a toll on us and require a vast majority of our skills and attention, I miss them too. Hopefully I can regain some of the humility, patience, and love I used to hold for patients - before Sinai started seeping into me...

Posted 1/18/2006 10:40 AM by traumamomma

- reply

C and I are watching the market today, I'm hooked up in Once Read Books with a blue cord- ($4!) surfing the net....
interesting shades in the men's bathroom for sure....

Posted 1/18/2006 10:53 AM by rachelmacasaet

- reply

very nice short film... kinda like an old family home movie--- gets me a bit homesick. -K

Posted 1/18/2006 1:26 PM by BIGHAIR_lowmorals - reply

very nicely done...how is the holga working out for you?

Posted 1/18/2006 3:53 PM by Vegdam - reply

Just for you, Sweetie Pie. I was moved by your film; I could feel your emotion. Godspeed as you continue your adventures. My favorite photo on this posting was the Illegal picture of a psychic....the reflection makes it!

Posted 1/18/2006 4:34 PM by

fratmom

- reply

Hello.

That is a beautiful song by Van Morrison. I have only one of his cd's, Greatest Hits, the song should be on there. Seems it would have been a hit, then again, sometimes the non hits are defintely the best.
It is a beautiful song for a wedding. Congratulations.

Peace and Love:)

Posted 1/18/2006 5:39 PM by VaporousVenom - reply

Visit BlindManBrokenMirror's Xanga Site!

Eh, you'll be fine wherever your journeys take you.

Good luck my friend.

Posted 1/18/2006 6:09 PM by BlindManBrokenMirror - reply

that's so amazing what you do-
I can't watch the film on this computer but
hopefully will get a chance soon.

wherever you are going, I hope it is nice.

I like the photographs.

Posted 1/18/2006 8:27 PM by cynicalcries - reply

lovely photographer...

Posted 1/18/2006 8:28 PM by OpaZazzyZen - reply

U said meniscus. Haven't heard that term in YEARS!!! and I call myself a scientist. Missed U at trauma dinner again. Heffa

Posted 1/19/2006 1:17 AM by DDKEGGS - reply

I am stopping by but amazed by your writtings ad photos. I work in psych with acute adults (but usually don't talk about it on xanga). I am touched by your words. I am going to subscribe. Thanks about talking about the absurd because I have seen it too.

Peace & laughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 1/19/2006 3:10 AM by jcmonogram - reply

Come Tony

Be blessed in your quest for Peace and Truth

SeeK

FinD

For you shall know the Truth...and the Truth shall set you free

Posted 1/19/2006 3:29 AM by TheUnstained

- reply

Very cool pictures brother, the alley picture is almost vertigo inducing, haha.

ryc: Interesting how you attach to souls...do you find that it could be the other way around? They attach to you? I look at things very similar to you, and I am interested to read more from a different perspective than my own. As far as the drunks, I would say they are on shaky ground for telling anyone what is and is not illegal, haha. Besides they probably think the Patriot Act was something Thomas Jefferson did, haha.

Hey man, since you are into good music and all, there is a guy named Monte Montgomery, http://www.montemontgomery.com/tour_dates.htm, that you need to check out. The most devastating acoustic guitar player I have ever heard, and he is going to be in Stevens Point, Wisconsin in March. If you can't make this show, keep your eyes open because he is beyond anything I have ever heard live, and I saw Stevie Ray Vaughan at Red Rocks in Colorado back in 1988!!! Does that put it into perspective? haha. He is from Austin TX, and he gets up around Chicago at least once a year. I haven't seen him since November 2004 and I'm getting a little pissed....ROAD TRIP!!!! haha. I need to go to Austin anyway on a Mustang trip so what the hell. A Mustang trip is when I don't have my kids with me and I bug the hell out!

Welcome to "The Rope" and I look forward to hearing from you more often.

Peace brother.

CosmicM

Posted 1/19/2006 8:09 AM by CosmicMonkey

- reply

Absolutley amazing..I love the perspectives....the colors, the depths.. Patty akavaporous venom told me to come here and Im glad I did..I subscribed..thank you

Posted 1/19/2006 11:07 AM by SunnyCalifornia

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there is no typical woman....

that is the bliss of the feminine...

and, my God, what bliss it is.

ABSOLUTLY!!!!!! Good luck uncovering the infinite Self. Great site!!!

Posted 1/19/2006 5:13 PM by nostoryrob - reply

for a moment I thought the shadow was that of the big rat :)

Posted 1/19/2006 5:21 PM by tragically_chic - reply

Awesome photos and film. They capture the moment and emotions.

Posted 1/19/2006 6:54 PM by quilldriver - reply

Again...another entry that pulled me in and soaked my soul with awe.

Your cat is most elegant, the 'spooky' tree reminds me of Halloween and my son walked by as I was looking at the photographs, saw your picture and asked if that was Ali G....LOL!

But now that he mentioned it.....