june 23rd...damn

10th grade. this year/first month of school has been probably, no definitely the best ever.

everything is so perfect right now.

i have an amaaaaaazing amigo. shes great, and makes me so happy..

and the best boyfriend, evvvvvvvver. derek is amazing, and i could make this into a little novel, but no need..i love everything about him, and he's made me more happy than ive ever been. its almost been a month, and man its gone by fast. its hard to put my feelings into words, but he's different than everyone else. and yes, in a good way. i cant imagine being without him..

so as you can see from what was just breifly stated, im extremely happy. couldnt ask for anything more..

Currently Listening A Fever You Can't Sweat Out By Panic! At the Disco see related

isdkifnbas;kjbg;oisdhgosdhgoishdg

la la la la la, madi is in a very good mood, la la la la la

definitely didnt go to sleep last night, and i expected to get to school and be totally out of it but i just kept getting these burts of energy, must be that damn candy im addicted too...damn additive candy. then in french i totally slept the whole class, teehee no candy for me on friday, but oh well it felt nice to sleep...hahahahahahaha WOW today in lunch i was in the salad bar line and was talking to jordynn about some random thing and i happened to yell BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH mutiple times, and then i hear excuse me madi?! and i slowly turn around and my math teacher is in line behind me, so many things were going threw my head, but i couldnt help but laugh histerically...and of course me and my horrible excuses said thats how i say i love her in french, and then i said wellll i gotta go...................and left.

biology was very amusing today. i made up a litle rhyme.

-if you were my slaveowner, i would purposely pick less cotton than yesterday so you could punish me.-

there are many more but i left my notebook at school so maybe laterrrrr.

went out to dinner with the FAM well excluding my mother...dane austin my dad and me. twas quite fun. woooorrrdddd.

im addicted to panic at the dicso. im in love.

hmmm madi is getting quite bored just sitting here....

lets see what happened when i got home today...sat around watched million dollar baby because nothing else good was on, and then yeah chris called me a couple times, but i didnt pick up and then i had a new voicemail, so doing what normal people do i checked it and it was him and derek and we was acting like they were high? its a very confusing message and then he called and dane picked up and they talkedd...i love my phone, i dont know what i did without one for so long. i need to slow down with all the texts though i have sent 865 so far since a couple days into january...thats a loooooooot. and i have even more recieved, i couldnt believe my phone held that many. and i have 350 pictures, which is always a plus when im extremely bored because i love pictureessss.

madi doesnt understand math, or biology. anyone want to tutor?

this whole thing is so confusing, jordynn you know what im talking about..., i mean if you like him...i will totally back off, because that would be a bitch move on my part. haaa. had an urge to say that. but seriously, im kind of confused with all of this, i literally have no idea how i feel about all of it, about him, and everything. im sorry for everything and i know its been killing you thinking about it all too. hpoefully everything with unfold as the universe has planned. ummm? teehee

is it still me that makes sweat? am i who you think about in bed? when the lights are dim and your hands are shanking, as your sliding off your dress.

i love love love that part of the songgg

aww, i like getting text messages :  ) well at least from the people that matter.

the postol service=my almost new obsession.

la la la la la la la la la la la la

it's these substandard motels on the lalalalala corner of 4th and freemont street. appealing, only because they are just that un-appealing any practiced catholic would cross themselves upon ebtering. the rooms have a hint of asbestos and maybe just a dash of formaldehyde, and the habit of decomposing right before you very lalalala eyes. along with the people inside what a wonderfal caricature of intimacy. inside, what a wonderful caricature of timtimacy.

hmm, wonder how tomorrow will go? im thinking about stealing danes sweatshirt to wear, yess that would be very sweet. but my damn washing machine is busted. shiiiiiiiit.

"if you were sick, i would be your medical bubble"...haha just remembering some of the little rhymes i was making up lol anna....

when i say shotgon you say wedding SHOTGUN WEDDING SHOTGUN WEDDING. i just have to scream that when i hear it, its so irrisitable.

She didn't choose this role
But she'll play it and make it sincere
So you cry, you cry
(Give me a break)
But they believe it from the tears
And the teeth right down to the blood
At her feet
Boys will be boys
Hiding in estrogen and wearing Aubergine dreams
(Give me a break)

i love lyrics.

so me and anna came to the conclusion, well i said it and she agreed that this is one of the best things to say at random moments...-so i pretty much want you ::long awkward pause/silence....- haha teehee anna...denmark....penis photos! "he obviously took like 100 and picked the perfect one, and took like hours just getting the right one for you......" "....obviously." haha great conversation...

so texting derek right now, talking about how chris is so pissed about this whole scenario (sp?) and urgh, i dont know...i just dont understand anything at all really...but i think im going to just go with what i thinks best, lets hope thats the righ thing though.

la la do do da da da

madi is bored, and tired, but yet very un tired at the same time

i am getting amused quite easily right now. its amusing being amused. its also amusing being amused by saying different forms of amuse in one sentence.

"if you were abstinence, id break all your rules." teehee....

so i think madi is going to stop writing, again congrats if you read the whole entry.

;;

i used to tell myself i think too much, but then i realized that you can never think too much...i feel so much better after just reflecting on everything, just getting everything out, not letting it get all bottled up inside like i have a tendancy to do, quite often. so im in the process of getting better, and i have a feeling it just might be working, but then again i think that a lot and then something goes wrong. so lets hope for a stable week, with no worries, ehhh....maybe thats a little too much to ask for, but theres always room for wishes.

//

i just remember that lately i have been having the weirdest dreams, dreams that seem to have a meaning, as if my inner self is trying to get something across, teehee that sounded silly...but they are sooo, shocking-ish, im not sure shocking is the word to say but hmm? i need a damn dream book. book store anyone?

this weekend was awweeesssommme.

friday after school jordynn came over, and austin told us that amanda talked to him in the hall and said that she missed the bus...so she called me later and we decided to go to the school to practice, which definitely didnt really get accomplished. i do have to say i like the sound proof practice rooms, lol i just kind of screamed at random times, it was amusing. so we played threw about half of the song, then got caught up in eating all of the cookies and candy, and hahahah i had oreos all over my teeth and amanda was dying laughing because what i looked like when i would smile, so then we had to take pictures...lol and then we tried on the band uniforms, and the different kinds of hats lol then we walked around waiting for her dad to come and me and jordynn went home and waited around till my mom took us to the karaoke thing...i thought i was going to be much better, but all the songs were stupid, like slow rap ghetto music but it was still funnn...then afterwards me and jordynn went with chris and derek to hacienda and got daqueries and mud sliddeessss, yessss like the best two things, ever. and thennnn we had to ask around from waiter to waiter to find where to get baloons, and we got baloons but the lady didnt know how to tie them lol silly girl...but of course we didnt want them tied because of the heeeelium, so the car ride we were talking in really high voices...lol so chris had to go home like right away for sat, but they ended up comming over for a little while and played the drums...and watched me do my couch jumping trick, lol they were like thats it? because i had to run upstairs and get into shorts lol thennnn they left me and jordynn were like freaking out because we were like AHH! we need someone who can drive, because we did not want to stay home...and we didnt want to go out walking again, because that leads to getting in trouble...lol we were sitting on the pool table thinking about what to do, so i just started texting like everyone on my contact list, and then about 10 minutes chris calls and says want to go to walmart? and i was confused, because when derek was with him he haddd to get home, but i guess he needed pencils for the sat...so he picked us up and we went to walmart, and ran away into the medical ish section and were looking at random things...and he was calling my cell phone like crazy, lol my ringtone is the willy wonka song from teh movie, so we were walking around with "willy wonka willy wonka, the amazing cholateer, willy wonka willy wonka everybody give a cheer.." ha, i love my ringtone and then we got some "things" dont need to say what though...and left and he took us home...we got home and talked with adriana and aaron for a while, they are the best...and then ate some of their chinese food, and decided to go to bed because it was like almost 1, so i made a quick playlist to fall asleep to lol because its impossible to fall asleep without music, well not impossible but pretty close.

woke up at 6 30. took a shower, and got ready...woke jordynn up and we got readdddy, well i ended up getting ready in the car, because i kind of got off track at home...we got to memorial and  found amanda, she was wearing my hot pink shirt no shoes and pink floyd pants, and i was like ummmmmm? your kidding right? lol but she just had to change...lol i thought it was quite amusing, we were all wearing my shirts, since amanda and jordynn dont own pink shirts? weird...so we walked around for a bit and went to the bathroom and i guess we were talking really loud, because the people that sit in front of the rooms came in and didnt say a word, but they held up the quit please sign and like shoved it in our faces, ughhh. and then we went in the room to practice and the lady was like MIDDLETON? and we were like shiiiiiiieeeettttttt. because we were up next, and werent ready at all...and i was like dont we have 20 muinutes, and amanda was like we are up next! ahh, but we did get a gold. and then we walked around, i tried to find out when austin played and finally chelsea had a paper, but i didnt end up watching his but i did see chelseas which was veeeerrrrryyyyyy good. amanda just kind of dissspeared? and she was no where to be found...so me and jordynn decided to stay and watch people, so we got changed and saw derek and hung out with him...hes my new buddy, hes only like the coolest...lol so then i met some ottthhherr people from the band like andy, and luuukkee, and greeggg ha hes silly, i referred to him as the best trumpet guy..because i never knew he was but heard about how good he was at the trumpet and then i finally met him...but i guess hes not very good but hes really good in bed? ha...so we just walked around and around listening to my ipod and ummmm i dont knoww...derek took us to dairy queen, yessss ha it was funny i ordered two twist cones and a blizzard and then a mushroom swiss just because it sounded cool and then was like umm, can i cancel that mushroom swiss please, i think i changed my mind and she was pissed of and was like 6 15! or however much it was...haha me and jordynn were like WHERE DO WE GO?! dame cook...lol and then we came back, i felt special walking around with an ice cream cone lol mr hatfield was like where is mine?! and i was like well yesterday when you told jordynn she was your facorite student too...i got quite furious and decided not to get you one, and he said well then why did you walk up to me and say favorite teacher? and i said well of course you still are...BUT i am still quite angry about that incident yesterday, and started talking about my temper...lol he just laughed...sooo we waited around and then watched a lot of drum solos...walked more and some more...saw people, blah blah blah and all of a sudden its like 4 o clock, and we were still there...ugh, so austin was still inside and i got in the front seat of the car and started to turn it on and adriana was like NOO! and aaron was sitting there showing me which one was the break and what not...lol that made me laugh, so i backed up about 5 inches and then drove foward all as austin was walking to the car lol so then i came home, and me and jordynn ate pizza and then we took her home, i came home talked to jordynn for a while on the phone, then had to get ready and was off the julias...went to her house and we left for china star for CHINESE NEW YEAR! haha...i love julia so much, we moved our section of the table away from the other four people there -her parents and their neighbors...lol it looked funny, and we had a really good converstation, about just everything...it was great and then we ateee yessss i love chinese good, then we went to the game, just like every other game, except much shorter since we got there late...and anna got mad like mad mad over something but wouldnt tell me what? and i felt really bad, and didnt know what to do at all...so i kept trying to make it better, and its all better...so then derek called and said he was outside so we left and went with them to this pizza place by the movies...no idea what its called and picked up pizza and went to chriss house and they ate and we went downstairs for a little bit and then left to go to blockbuster, and they walked out of the stoor and i stayed in for a while because they had sooo much candy, i was like a little kid, seriously. i bought three boxes of candy and sour gummy worms and the coolest thing ever, it was like a fan on a plastic stick with candy on the end and you push a button and it lights up all different designs flash on and off and wow it was like the most amusing thing ever...and then i walk out and they were gone...lol i called derek and he was like we went to family video well be riiggghhht back, so then  right after that it said i had a call so i pick up and it didnt sound like derek or chris at all, but i just figured it was so i went along with it and had a 2 minute conversation about..i dont know i forget? but at first how i was like WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME DAMNIT and yeah...it was greg...damn him lol so then i talked to anna for a while, i was outside walking in the rain, i looove the rain :  ) and she made me smile..then i walk inside and derek called and said he was backkk so i left went back to chriss for a second and then derek took my home...got home, and talked to my dad for a while and then went to bed.

woke up at 8 o clock this morning, and just sat around...my parents didnt wake up till 2 30 and austin left with aaron right when he woke up so the house was so quit. i havent had so much time to just think in a while. i literraly just sat out in the living room thinking and thinking, about everything. i get side tracked so easily...i mean 30 minutes will just fly by, and im just like daaammmnnnn. then i watched the notebook, and talked to my mom, aww she was like madi im working today AND tomorrow so i wont see you till tuesday? (she works from 3-12 30) so i wont see her till tuesday :  ( and then i got online for a while, time really flys when you are looking at stuff...and then i watched the white castle movie with my dad, that move makes me laugh...and thennnn talked to anna, and im going to go over there tonight...even though its almost 8 lol and then i had dinner...and talked to julia...she had to go to a soccer game though, and yeah today was a lot less exciting than yesterday and friday but i love lazy days, sometimes.

wow, that was an extremely long entry...if you read that all, wow, thats all i can say

im such an impatient person, i hate waiting for things, i want everything to happen right now. i dont want to wait anymore :  (

i love my friends, didnt get to hang out with anna but going over there riiighhtt now...hung out with julia for a while and it was aweomse...and hung out with jordynn soo much, it was so fun hanging around with her like all weekend...soo fun.

well im off to annas, hope everybody had a good weekend...

comment me if you read all this, you deserve a special treat.