|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| State of Mark... I think I'm depressed. One would know right if they were? All the signs are there for me though..I feel detached from life and friends..I don't find enjoyment in the things I used to enjoy..I sleep a lot..I don't eat as much as I used to..I didn't feel this way when I was with Mell (recently)..when I was with her I was the happiest I've been since like 2 years ago before that time when I was with Abby, maybe even happier.
I'm not in school right now. I dropped my Calculus class in the summer cuz the teacher was a dick..and I wasn't feeling him or the class. I'm attempting to enroll into National University and pursue Nursing. The only thing thats holding me back is the naggin fact that its going to cost a lot of money.
I'm thinking about it and I probably should get another part time job. To help pay for bills and for the extra gas money Imma need driving to class and anywhere else. I'm at a really really low point in my life..I never thought I would get at this point. I would call this my Dark Ages.
Hopefully when I report back on here..things will be brighter..and I'll get outta this stall that I'm in.
| | |
| Ninja Bloggin..@ work..doin some "Ninja Bloggin"...cant let anyone else see me. Haha... I have someone on hold right now cuz they are callin about their cat to see if its rdy for p/u...imma leave them on hold for just a little bit more since the dr is not available to tell me otherwise. Had a weird dream last night/this am...it was about Mellanny's bf...IM NOT GAY..ill explain later. Also..today went with Mell to Mesa and dropped her off and went to sleep in the car..then went to go eat at Bennigans..then walked around Bed Bath and Beyond..then to Ross. More later..lemme jump on this call.. | | |
| Journal Entry #1 : Enter Mellanny..I always end up wanting to type soo much out..but I get so much into it that I lose interest shortly after then I get tired and lazy...like now.
So much has happened (durr) since the last entry that Ive made. I feel bad for not putting it all in..since I know those moments in time were unforgettable but its the details I wanted to put in.
For this first entry of many..I will simply put..
Enter Mellanny...
It says soo much right now to me..and I know that whenever it feels like nothing else can beat it..something comes around and does. I need to get some sleep right now..have to wake up early and do a take home math quiz..and meet up with MELLANNY at Starbucks on Central.
| | |
| Sick in the head / Plaza ritual / Echoes of the past...Woke up today at 2 am and drank some Theraflu then went back to sleep...woke up again and took out the 2 scrunched up toilet paper tissues from my nose...went to the bathroom and blew my nose...and washed my face. Then I took a shower (retarded that I washed my face first when I was going to take a shower anyways..haha). Afterwards I took two Benadryl pills in preparation for the onslaught of boogers that would eventually be attacking me full scale when I get to work.
When I got to work thats when my head started to hurt...and nose was all messed up...I hated answering the phone and talking because the people couldnt even understand me and I dont blame them...I felt light headed and if i just stood still and listened I could feel my whole head throbbing. I told my co workers that I didnt feel well and apologized ahead of time if I didnt talk much. They sympathized and asked me if I wanted to go home and I told them that I wasnt too sick to be sent home and that I could still work ( i wanted to save that card for a future day = )
I was in the office for a good part of the day with my head on the desk just half sleeping (im like sleeping but paying attention to whats going on around me; guess you can call it putting your head down and resting?). I went to Wings and Things to eat some of their chicken strips because they always clear my sinuses...but it was only temp..I went to Wells Drugs and bought some Vicks sniffing thingy...WOW...that stuff really works...it cleared my nose and I was able to breathe again. I waited for 5 pm to hit then I cut out and headed for the NFCU ATM on sweetwater....
when i was getting some cash out and this one check that I was going to deposit I looked to my left and saw an uncle sitting in his car reading a newspaper and didnt pay much attention to it. When i got out of my car and closed the door I looked at him again and he was like looking right at me...then he locked the doors of his car and he wasnt even trying to be sneaky about it. In my head I was like WTF MAN!?! This fool thinks Imma rob him or something? That offended me hella. FUCK HIM!
Went to Plaza...place was packed (mexicans everywhere). Couldnt find any close parking so had to park hella far. Went inside and did my tours around the mall...walked past Gamestop and was like, nah...walked past B dalton and was like, nah....walked to Hot Topic and saw some WoW booster packs for $4.99 and was like, nah...walked to Pac Sun and looked around in there a while...finally saw a shirt I like and picked that up. Walked to the food court and went to the bathroom.
Weird thing happened in there...I went inside and saw a guy washing his hands nothing weird there...went to the urinal and was like...man, where am I going to set my bag...I didnt want to put it on the floor because there was piss there..I didnt want to hang it from the urinal because it would be in my line of fire, haha....so I just gripped it in between my legs. 3 secs after I start another mexican guy comes up next to me and uses the urinal on my left...this guy THROUGH MY PERIPHERAL VISION ( I didnt look straight at "it") comes up to the urinal and goes...I didnt even see him unzip or unbutton anything...that means that he came into the bathroom and before he even got to the urinal he had already pulled his thing out....that was kinda weird...the weirdest part...was when he was going he was making moaning sounds and like moving his body side to side...I felt awkward and was trying to hurry to finish...he even got more weird by laughing...at that point I just stopped and left.....he scared me a little hahha
Found an old cd in my backpack...i think its like 2 yrs old ( i know i know..thats not old). Its Jimmy Eat World : Futures CD. Man...listening to that brought back some like vivid memories of before.
I bought that CD when I was with Abby at Fashion Valley. I think at Sam Goody or something...all I know is that its upstairs across from where KB Toys used to be. I bought that CD along with Gwen Stefani's Love Angel Music Baby CD.
I remember picking up Abby after her work at Auntie Anne's..then driving on the 8 listening to that CD with the windows down and bumping Jimmy Eat World...Abby would be sitting there talking to me or whatever and when we got to her house (at the time it was on Michael St) we would just sit outside and talk about whatever...and that CD would just be playing in the background.
Listening to it now..i could just picture those days...those nights...things seemed simpler and easier during those times...go to school...go to work...hang out with Abby...hang out with friends...call it a day, and repeat.
Its like this CD has a secret connection with my brain...like for reals...I play one track and I could picture the past...and when the next song comes on...another series of pictures comes up. Wow, is this like a repressed memory? Wait, I think repressed memories are bad ones right? well, these aren't bad...they were good times.
*sigh*
.........................
| | |
| Black Friday....Well...im typing this out on my new HP Laptop...its really nice.
Its a gift from my dad since I couldnt get anything from Best Buy, Circuit City, or Staples...even though I woke up like 4am in the morning for that shit. Imma pay my dad back though. I think he just felt bad that i was all excited about getting like a new monitor or something from those places...and ended up not getting one thing.
My dad bought a 6.0 megapixel Sony Cybershot camera along with a 37inch plasma TV from Exchange. I cant wait till he installs it and we can watch like high definition TV stuff...whatever that means.
This laptop is even good enough to play some of my computer games..even WoW...oh man, work will never be the same...hahahahah
JM is back too btw...i told him that we should go to the gym more (for my sake)
| | |
|
