It was May 2007. You came into my life, and you made me happy when times were bad. It ended in October the same year. Things were going well, but you reason that you don’t have time for me, and you won’t be having time for me in the future as you were very busy. I understood. It wasn’t the first time i heard that.

So we went our separate ways. It wasn’t that you didn’t like me. It wasn’t that you didn’t have feelings for me. No one cheated on anyone. But you decided it best to end before we go too long and then only to realise it won’t work out. It was good while it lasted. I still remember your kisses. You are funny and you made me laugh. Late night movies and supper were the highlight of our time together. We chatted all night about nothing. We fall asleep holding hands.

Alas, 5 months into that, it all ended. That was the last stroke for me. I thought i’ve had enough. I gave up. Nothing ever worked out for me. Was i cursed that bad? Am i that bad? Must have been something wrong that i do. Must be something wrong with me. You’re the second person to leave me in pursuit of a career.

You asked me if i’m seeing anyone now. I said No. I asked you the same question. You said it would defeat the purpose of you not making it work with me if you were to start seeing someone. With that, you left me feeling lost. I only sense hopelessness. It didn’t happen then. And nothing is going to happen now.  

I have this sudden urge to share a few embarrassing moments with you. These are the outstanding ones which i will remember for the rest of my freaking life.

Embarrassing Moment #1 (the kid me)

When i was a little kid, about 6 or 7 ish, i was terrified of blankets. This was because, being the small size kid that i was, my foolish of a grandmother wrapped me up in a blanket one night when i went to bed. Well, i woke up engulfed in the damn blanket, i was so terrified because i thought the blanket ate me (so sue me, i was 6!). The effing blanket was so huge i couldn't find my way out of it.

Embarrassing Moment #2 (the teenage me)

There is this spiral staircase in my secondary school (high school), which is situated right in the middle of the school building. Every morning after the school assembly in the hall, my class (and about 3 other classes) will use that staircase to go back to our classroom on Level 2. For some reason, that morning, while walking down the spiral staircase, i was shoved to the narrow end of the steps. Well, the narrow end couldn't support my titanic feet, and so there i went tumbling (rolling) down the spiral staircase all the way to Level 1. With only about 2 thousand other kids witnessing the moment, seeing that stoopid staircase was conveniently placed in the middle of the school. I went back home after that and demanded to my mom to have me changed school. Of cos that didn't happen. So i sucked up the embarrasment for the next 2 years after that.

Embarrassing Moment #3 (the adult me)

This happened when i was in my first college (i went to 2, btw). It was during the final project presentation. A panel of 5 members sat in during the presentation (Dean, 1 Guest Lecturer, 3 Lecturers) together with about 30 of my classmates. I was studying Mass Communications then, and i chose to present on my subject major, Public Relations. Well, on the opening powerpoint presentation i made a typo on the subject, and right before everyone in the class, my presentation appeared as this: PUBIC RELATIONS. Well, i did pass the subject with a distinction.

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I ran into an ex-classmate yesterday after work, and well, i was just reminded of the above situations. Because she had kindly told me yesterday that she heard there will be a secondary school reunion at the end of the year. So i'm contemplating whether i should go or not. I fear the name badge given to me for that occasion will state "the dork who made history in school by falling 3 stories down the spiral staircase".

Maybe i'll give this one a miss afterall...