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Monday, May 09, 2005

motto to live by:

 

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other,   totally worn out and screaming...
 
Damn, What a ride!!         

 

Ways of dealing with the burdens of life:                                                                        

*Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the
statue.
*Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat
them.
*Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the
middle of it.
*Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
*If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
*If you lend someone $20 & never see that person again, it was probably
worth it.
*It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to
others.
*Never buy a car you can't push.
*Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because you won't
have a leg to stand on.
*Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
*Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
*The second mouse gets the cheese.
*When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
*Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
*You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world
to one person.
*Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
 


Monday, April 25, 2005

women only

 

 

Fw_ Best Cartoons.JPG



Sunday, April 10, 2005

POTATO PROSTITUTES

Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner. One is a prostitute.

How can you tell which one is the prostitute?
Hold on......
You're gonna love it...

 

It's the one with the little sticker that says...
I - DA - HO

Now admit it!!! That WAS cute.  ROFL

 

Since the Pledge of Allegiance

and

 The Lord's Prayer

are not allowed in most
public schools anymore

because the word "God" is mentioned....

a kid in Arizona wrote the attached
NEW
School
prayer.

I liked it....
                

Now I sit me down in school

Where praying is against the rule

For this great nation under God

Finds mention of Him very odd.




If Scripture now the class recites,

It violates the Bill of Rights.

And anytime my head I bow

Becomes a Federal matter now.



Our hair can be purple, orange or green,

That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.

The law is specific, the law is precise.

Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.


For praying in a public hall

Might offend someone with no faith at all.

In silence alone we must meditate,

God's name is prohibited by the state.



We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,

And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.

They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.

To quote the Good Book makes me liable.


We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,

And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.

It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,

We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.




We can get our condoms and birth controls,

Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,

No word of God must reach this crowd.



It's scary here I must confess,

When chaos reigns the school's a mess.

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:

Should I be shot; My soul please take!


AMEN


Jesus said,

" If you are ashamed of me,"

I will be ashamed of you before my Father."

A dog had followed his owner to school. His owner was a fourth grader at a public elementary school. However, when the bell rang, the dog sidled inside the building and made it all the way to the child's classroom before a teacher noticed and shooed him outside, closing the door behind him. The dog sat down, whimpered and stared at the closed doors. Then God appeared beside the dog, patted his head, and said, "Don't feel bad fella'....they won't let ME in either."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 




 


Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Thoughts for the weekend
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing.  If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

 


Saturday, April 02, 2005

Candidate A is  Franklin D. Roosevelt.
> Candidate B is Winston  Churchill.
> Candidate C is Adolph  Hitler. 

> And, by the way, on your answer to the  abortion question: If you said YES, 
you just killed  Beethoven. 

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a  person think before judging someone.




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