| i'm kinda stupid. i ate nothing till 3 pm, then i had a tiny piece of chocolate and a banana. then a tuna wrap at work. then when i came home i had a glass of milk and a huge piece of chocolate zucchini cake. which is not HORRIBLE, i guess, but that definitely puts me above 500 for today, closer to 1000 probably. Bleh tomorrow i have to eat lunch at my grandmas so i'm a little worried about that.
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| i actually had a pretty good day. i skipped breakfast and lunch, but had a tuna sub for dinner b/c i was starving. That's all i ate today. So about 500 cals. All in one stupid sub. Whatever, i'm proud of myself for showing control and not eating any cookies at work. I need to start dropping these extra pounds of fat on my body quick, so never more than 500 cals/day till i lose some significant weight.
I was so miserable this morning and pissed off at my bf and at life but then he cheered me up - i thought nobody could, but he did. And then my sister decided to be nice to me for once so she bought me a headband yay i needed a new one anyways. Last day of school tomorrow before spring break!!!
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| My sister is being such a bitch lately and she's really pissing me off. I'm so nice to her, i do so much for her yet i get nothing in return but being called "fat" and other rude comments like that. I don't know why she hates me so much. Am i like, that disgustingly fat that i'm not good enough for her? Even worse, my parents always take her side. They don't realize that anything is wrong with this. I had to fight so hard to hold back the tears on the way to school this morning. I was so tempted to just come back home after being dropped off at school, curl up in my bed, and cry and cry and cry....
And my weight is going up and up and up. just what i need right now. why can't i control myself?
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| i was right. the scale DID lie. it said 127 then 128 this morning. wtf and i didn't even eat that much yesterday.
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| wow...i have been busy lately...anyways, the scale said 126lbs this morning. but i don't believe that...how could it be so low after this eating-filled weekend?
i haven't exercised in so long. i really need to. i still need to be 120 by spring break.
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