(Note by Makfawa: The following is not a retelling of Philippine pre-colonial mythology. Rather, it depicts the creation myth of the natives of the Spice Islands, a campaign location in the fictitious world known as the Pharagos. It borrows heavily from Philippine Myth, though, and hopefully, everyone will find it interesting.For more information on the world of the fey, I give you this link: http://community.dicefreaks.com/viewtopic.php?t=6398)

The Old gods of New Selentia
Taken from the journal of Centurion Augustus Tiberius Trajan

...And then, perhaps out of sheer boredom, the Song Priestess finally gave in to the request of Marius Tanquinius. Eagerly, the priestess of Pelor listened to the story as well. Hmm, perhaps there is something these clerics have in common after all.

I took out my journal and began writing down what Tiniglahi said.Damnit, her common is really wonky:

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"We are aware that it is the worship of us mortals that sustains the gods. And yet, we are given numerous stories of how these same gods created us, the creatures of the mortal coil. So, I ask you, if the almighty beings' exist because of the mortals' veneration, how could they have created us? Surely they could not be while we do not yet exist. Now I do not know about your gods, outlanders, but I know the reason for the existence of mine. For unlike Zarus and Pelor, Bathala and his court were not always gods, but fey.

Pharagos, as opposed to some other Material worlds, is a relatively young leaf of the Tree of life. When it first appeared, nothing but sky and sea existed. But while the leaf was barely noticeable to most entities then, this is where the fey pince known as the Bathala, of no small renown, found the potential for his paradise. Thus, with a host of loyal fey (who included his daughter Makiling), he set out to this supposedly empty world.

However, another fey of the sea called Aman Sinaya already called this place home. The two became fierce rivals, and everyday, each tried to outdo the other. Bathala attacked her with thunder and lightning, while Aman Sinaya use her waves and storms.

The battle raged on for years, but came to a head when Aman Sinaya attacked Bathala in his own palace in the skies. As her typhoons battered on the walls of the sky, Bathala threw down giant boulders. These boulders hit Aman Sinaya's realm of the sea.

Finally Makiling has had enough. She took on the form of a bird, and flew back and forth through the sky, then to the sea, then back again. This caused sky and sea to become closer than they were, and the two fey lords agreed to end the fight and become friends.

As the fey court surveyed Pharagos, they decided to create, finally, the paadise that they dreamed of. To the empty boulders floating on the sea they decided to create.

But first they had to weave the Words of Creation, the mystic language that grew the Tree of Life, into a beautiful song. The court looked to Halmista, mightiest sorcerer among them, to weave this delicate fabric. And, after much study, he declared the Decree of Balance: As the cycle of life requires both growth and decay, as the powers that be are divided between good and evil, law and chaos, so must the paadise contain both the beauty of creation and the agony of destruction. The court agreed, and the Songs of Creation and Destuction was formed (two well known tomes of power! Her story begins to sound more and more farfetched...).

Next, as was natural to the fey, they needed a soul to maintain this land of spices. To this end, Makiling pesented herself, and since then the diwata became the spirit of the land.

Now all was done. They have created paradise, and the court settled in their new home. But the peace was quickly disturbed by two voices crying for help; the fey, being of a natually good lot, headed to the direction of the voices, a very tall bamboo tree. From within the pleas are heard: "Bathala, Bathala, please let us out!" So the fey prince cracked the bamboo open, and henceforth came the first mortals; Malakas (Strong) the male and Maganda (beautiful) the female. (Marius asked what kind of motals came out, and Tiniglahi replied, "Humans, of course..." probably to appease the human supremacist) In time, the mortals multiplied in number, and because of their veneration, the fey court eventually became gods."

A good tale, ultimately. but I could see a lot of inconsistencies in the story. So at first I asked, "If the gods... err, fey created this to be their paradise, how come the gods do not show themselves now? Would they not stay in the paradise they tried to make?"

To my irritation, it is the Pelorian who replied, "Oh, such a little mind like yours would fail to comprehend; gods are banned by cosmic rule from directly mingling with mortals."

I was about to fumble with my spell component pouch when the native nodded agreement and continued, "Alas, our veneration of them elevated them beyond physical reach. BUt we find ways to communicate with them still."

"Now, to continue. They were content with ruling from the skies above, but then it happened. Slowly at first, but slowly increasing in occurence, extraplanar mortals came to Pharagos, bringing along the names of their own gods with them. They built mighty empires, but they built them far from the Spice Islands, to various otherwise empty floating boulders. Thus the gods of all paid them no heed. But as they multiplied, and multiplied in increasing speed, the sheer numbers of the worshippers of foreign gods far outnumbered those of the gods of old. So slowly... they began to die.

Now I ask you this; their powers, their essence are now being absorbed very slowly into the equivalent gods of your worship. They are dying, but our worship means that they are not yet dead. I told you that they are a naturally good lot, but really, no one, not even gods, want to die, am I correct?"

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To that, Marius Tanquinius stood up, "Are you challenging my god, the sovereign of the human race, mighty and immortal Zarus? Tell me you aren't!"

"Perhaps I am," replied the native priestess, "the old gods could be far... superior."

The Zarus devout then drew his great sword, and I sighed. Normally I'd just blast them both to oblivion, but I need the support of our natives in the upcoming battle. And the human supremacist has his uses as well. I glanced to the Peloian. The sick bitch is smiling, awaiting in glee! What kind of Pelorian looks forward to a fight?

Bart, the bastion of non-violence, is the one I need right now (I can't believe I'm saying this...)

The following is supposedly an actual question given on University of
Washington chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave, therefore, no souls are leaving. As for
how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions
that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more
than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.


With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman Year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must
be true, and thus I am sure Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

Sleeziest line I ever thought of using:

"Nagyoyosi ka? That's hot..."

Thank you, Paris Hilton ... Buti na lang napigilan ko sarili ko...

Speaking of Orange... She told me that she recently broke up with her boyfriend!

(Natuwa pa yung gago...)

Hmm, I hope she's up for some playtime, this time...

**********

I'm going out with Red on Saturday! Hahaha...

I still don't know her name, though. That's really strange, considering I've known her for a year now...

Here's why: I don't ask girls' names when I meet them. Instead, I wait for them to give it to me...

It's a system that let's me know if they're interested... It just sounds lame if I ask them what their name is, 'di ba?

Or at least, if they realize that I'm not going to ask for it, they'll ask me what my name is...

Then I could tell them to go first... (Girls always come first, in my Utopian world...)

But in her case, names never really came up... Ever...

Then one day, she just called me by name...(Bj, may tatanong ako...)

Guess she asked someone, then... Perhaps I'll finally get her name on Saturday...

**********

I told you I'm back...