stuff

wow does anyone use xanga anymore? i haven't been on here in forever!

My kids are all of in the wild blue yonder out in the world. All in various stages of finding thier way and finding out who they are. And in the process I find myself doing the same thing. Kind of wierd- you'd think after 40 something years I'd know. But for half my life I've been 'mom'...but now that's over, for the most part.

Some things I wish they'd hang on to:

That God loves them much more than I ever could

That thier faith is now thier own to nurture and care for...for without care, it will most certainly stagnate. Just like kids can't grow properly if you neglect them, so it is with your faith. Always seek answers to the doubt and questions. Doubt and questions are healthy and necessary...but ignoring them only stifles growth.

To act when they have the chance to help someone in need. To give until it hurts; to remember that sacrificing for someone else without expecting a return or thanks is the ultimate in faith building; to realize that it is our duty as followers of Jesus to see with his eyes and to be obedient to that small voice inside that says "be generous to those that have need" . By doing to the least of these, you've done to Jesus.

I want them to be unashamed, to be courageous, to know that God is still God no matter what they're going through. And that nothing will ever separate them from the love of God through Christ...nothing. period...That goes for me too. I will promise to always love them no matter what. That I only want the best for them but more imporantly I want THEM to want the best for themselves.

Well that's it for now. Good day all!

Why Jesus...

Taken from "Sex God" by Rob Bell (highly recommended read- anything by Rob Bell is highly recommended)

" Love is handing your heart to someone and taking the risk that they will hand it back because they don't want it. That is why its such a crushing ache on the inside. We gave away part of ourselves and it wasn't wanted.

Love is giving away of power. When we love, we give the other person the power in the relationship. They can do with it what they choose. They can do what they like with our love. They can reject it, they can accept it, they can step towards us in gratitude and appreciation.

Love is giving away. When we love, we put ourselves out there, we expose ourselves, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

Love is giving up control. Its surrendering the desire to control the other person. The two- love and controlling power over the other person- are mutually exclusive. If we are serious about loving someone, we have to surrender all of the desires within us to manipulate the relationship.

So, if you were God- which I realize is an odd way ot begin a sentence- but if you were God, the all-powerful creator of the universe, and you wanted to move toward people, you wanted to express your love for the world in a new way, how would you do it?

If you showed up in your power and control and might, you would scare people off. This is what happens at the giving of the ten commandments. (Exodus 20:1-21) The first two commandments are in the first person: "You shall have no other gods before ME. You shall not make for yourself an image....for I, THE LORD..." But starting with the third commandment, someone else is talking: "You shall not misuse the name of the Lord YOUR GOD, for the THE LORD..." The rabbis believed that this is because God was speaking directly to the people in the first two commands, but they could not handle it. As it says in the text, "They trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance and said to Moses. ' Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die." (Verse 18-19. Later in Exodus 34, Moses has to wear a veil because he's been on the mountain with God and when he returns to the people, again they can't handle it. "And they were afraid to come near him." ) So the rabbi's reasoned, the switch in person is because Moses gave them the remaining eight commandments.

Just God speaking is too much to bear.

If you're God and you want to express ultimate love to your creation, if you want to move toward them in a definite way, you have a problem. because just showing up overwhelms people.

You wouldn't come as you are.

You wouldn't come in strength.

You wouldn't come in your pure, raw essence. You'd scare everybody away.

The last thing people would perceive is love.

So how would you express your love in an ultimate way? How do you connect with people in a manner that wouldn't scare them off but would compel them to want to come closer, to draw nearer?

You would need to strip yourself of all the trappings that come with ultimate power and authority. That's how love works. It doesn't matter if a man has a million dollars and wants to woo a woman. If she loves him for his money, it isn't really love.

If you were an almighty being who made the universe and everything in it, you would need to meet people on their level, in their world, on their soil....like them.

This is the story of the bible. This is the story of Jesus."

Oh, there's more...I'll add more of this later. For now, digest.

Vacation....was divine. I have to get used to having electricity and running water again...I really didn't mind not having them. Our rhythms changed...we didn't stay up so late and we got up earlier...everyone read alot- something we never do. SOME people hunted for sssssnakkkes...(ew)....we heard SOMETHING in the woods everynight...Ike would look intently into the woods from his perch on the porch and softly growl...the hair on his haunches would stand on end...it was a little scary. But nothing ever came out to eat us alive...I'm glad we had Ike there! It was great listening to the girls in the middle of the lake in the canoe singing at the tops of thier lungs to night air. If only they'd sing seriously...they all sound so good together....just when something would begin to sound like angels singing, they'd crack each other up or intentionally sing off tune. It was good to see them laugh together...and to talk huddled on the dock...to reconnect. It was nice sleeping with windows open and crickets and night sounds pouring in. The moon was full when we got there, and the full moon light would hit our bedroom window about 3am filling the room with this etheral light. It was so pretty. I wish we were still there.

Now I have a mountain of laundry and no food in the house. I need a vacation from my vacation!

"What a maroon"- bugs bunny

when it rains it pours....unbelievable...

andrea...

kelly....

brother in law pete...

the flood....

all the other stuff going wrong...

But I keep looking up and wondering...

done yet?

coming soon?

waiting for it....trying to be patient...knowing that its in the waiting that we learn the most...and that you can't take on other people's pain as your own...although you wish you could.