| | Quote of the Day - "Urgh! Penises are so not photogenic!" (Mamoyo, 2006)
My Dog Needs To Get Laid Part II
... cause' I have nothing else to blog about.
If I write about sex, I have no shame. Are you all sexual anorexics or what?
Nothing to write about also. I haven't been getting any action.
If I write about myself, I am so full of myself. A lil' self-confidence will kill you, is it?
Fine. I'll blog about my superdog.
I swear I'm his fucking slave.
So my neighbour's dog and Darlink have been talking...
Now that damn dog barks at everything!
I've always been careful about him not watching violent movies.
Like Courage The Cowardly Dog or Family Guy.
Just in case Darlink picks up smoking or blonde chicks.
But blur old me forgot the biggest influence of all... peer pressure!
Now he lihai... feels like he has to prove his friend something!
See newspaper man bark! See my friends bark! See small kid cycling past bark! See other dogs bark! See my neighbour bark! See my neighbour's dog bark!
See me bark!
...
No yet eat rotan this fellow!
So I brought him out for a walk.
Translation: I went running after him as he went on a rampage of pissing competition.
I know he's territorial... I mean, I can understand that what with him being a man and all.
But goddamnit, there's a time and place for everything!
He pissed on everyfuckingthing.
The bunga tahi ayam at my neighbour's place.
One AhBeng's Kenari (serves him right!).
Squatted a while at a patch of grass and wanted to shit but halfway the shit coming out of his ass, he changed his mind and ran to another patch (all the while, the shit still halfway out of his rectum and me being jerked around by a dog on a leash).
And worst of all...
... on a motorbike with a guy on it!
Omfg!
I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life.
The guy just looked on half-horrified, half-amused while Darlink did his business.
All the while I was putting my hand to my forehead in salutes of apologies... again and again.
Cibai dog.
I cut off your penis then you know... then you will never pee again!
Speaking of circumcision albeit a lil' too extreme, Irene asked me to castrate my dog.
o_0
So cruel suggest I get Darlink's balls snipped.
How he hold his head up like this?!
No balls not a man, you know.
Already kan peer pressure... now no balls...
What if he's laughed out of the clique and become social outcast?
I want generations of dogs from this superdog okay.
Continue my family's name.
The Yong Family.
But yes, after reading up on some dog breeding articles, I've decided to get him castrated.
Say byebye to your balls, Darlink!
What matters is the inside, you know...
*cheat small kids wan this consolation*
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| | Posted 10/21/2006 9:54 AM - 6 comments
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