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mandywarhol
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Name: Mandy
Country: United States
State: Michigan
Metro: Grand Rapids
Birthday: 1/6/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: Pearl Jam, Snowboarding, black and white photography, Bob Marley, singing, web design, 311, Ireland, abnormal psychology, Andy Warhol, Billie Holiday, knitting, hockey, reading Jane Austen and John Steinbeck, listening to Pink Floyd & Elliot Smith and Bob Dylan, the Cure, collecting stuff with shamrocks on it, Thai food, Salivador Dail paintings, Ralph Waldo Emersons writings, tennis, growing Orchids, Modest Mouse
Expertise: Marilyn Monroe, old black and white movies, indie cinema, coffee (consuming and making- I work at a coffee house), bowling while drunk, U2, BMW's, vintage shopping, Designer purses like Coach, bad 80's music, red wines, laser light shows, sarcasm,Tiffany & Co. jewelery, eating Yesterdog, Vodka, Law & Order (I've seen every episode @ least once), digging myself in a hole
Occupation: Student
Industry: Law
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  CCCougar2002
Yahoo:  winterbaby_84
Member Since:
3/8/2004
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| I think I need a degree just to understand student loans..Couldn't sleep this morning and decided to start the day early. Good idea, I thought to not waste time since I have so little of it lately to go around. Bad idea though to start the day out trying to decipher student loans. Fuck, I am so perplexed and feel so stupid that I can't figure out what's what. I swear to god it's like you need to have a degree already just so that you understand all the fees, repayments and whatnot.
I'm going over to my parent's house tonight to try and sit down with my dad to see if he can not only help me, but maybe co-sign a loan or take a parent-college loan out for me. I'm dreading it about as badly as having my wisdom teeth removed. Why you ask? Because though I've never meet anyone as book smart as my father and he's excellent at math, he dreads financial stuff. I'm assuming it's because we're not exactly living the high life. We've never been poor, but it's always been a struggle to put 4 kids through private elementary and high schools. And he also has a talent of saying "no" or making me feel stupid. The first of I've heard less of now that I don't live at home.
But at school costing $20,000 a year I'm feeling like even being a lawyer will still leave me in debt for the next 25 years. Why could I not be happy being a gold-digger? I hate to say it, but christ I hate owing anyone even a dollar, let alone $20,000. I know lots of girls who still the whole traditional deal of going to college to nab the husband. I know I'm spoiled and whatnot. I also know I don't do well being poor and I don't want to be poor. I want to be able to have the things I want and do what I want to do without depending on anyone else's $, but that in affect puts me in debt because I have to go to college to go into a profession that pays big $$$.
Oh, how ass-backwards is our system... well time's up as always... must shower and study for another 2 hours for a exam... tomorrow it's off to Chicago to visit the boyfriend for the week and not a moment too soon...
-Mandy-
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| I made the DEAN'S LIST!!!
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| The Letter That Decides FateI got my acceptance letter from Aquinas today.... and it felt amazing. So tired tho.. i'll write more later...
-Mandy-
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| How do sorority girls do it?UGH!!
I am so sick of living in this house w/ 4 other girls! It's getting to be ridiculous. Regina just came home from the bar and I'm sitting here studying for my finals and she asks me who's turn it was to take out the trash. I said it was mine and i did it already. She then precedes to get this rather snotty tone to her voice and says, "well, you missed the upstairs trash." I told her I thought we were no longer obligated to do bathroom trashes anymore if you had garbage duty because for months now no one but myself has been doing it so I didn't bother this time.
She starts going to get garbage bags and I told her I'll take care of it over and over again, but she says she'll do it. She then drags what was a nowhere near full trash bag (which mind you we pay a lot of $ for) and drags it outside to our pick-up pile. I said to her I would have taken it if she'd just let me and that I didn't realize it was such a big deal and I'm sorry. But as always when she's mad you're not allowed to have a say or even try to talk her to about it. She informed me she was mad and said, "Now isn't a good time to talk about it."
Suprise, I know that I mean it's 1am, but I'm sick and tired of being pushed around here. Every time something goes wrong in our house and I try to say something about it everyone looks at me like, "Oh, here we go again with Mandy's complaints...." And I know when we first moved in here I was hard to live with, but since then I've been unrelentingly lax and not said a word when my food was eaten when I was in Colorado or when my cat's been locked in the basement for a day or so because someone wasn't paying attention or even when people have ruined DVD's and rugs of mine. I've kept my mouth shut.
I'm sick of it. I don't see why some people can walk around and find mistakes (which I honestly though I didn't have to do the little bathroom trashes) and then blow them up into huge deals. I mean for christ-fucking-sake it's a little grocery-size bag of trash. It could have waited till next week and there was no reason to be so snotty about it.
I cannot wait to have my own apartment next year. All my room mates are cool and I mean we all have our moments, but I feel so lonely here. And I think that being this kind of lonely, lonely and surrounded by people is the worst kind. It's so awful because people are within reach, but so untouchable. I feel like the person no one remembers about it our house. Two of my room mates who just moved in 2 months ago are closer to my other 2 roomies who I've know for longer then they have. I want to believe it's no me, but I don't know whatelse it is. I know I have a crazy and hectic schedule, but no one asks me to do anything with them. The worst is that if they do it always seems by default. I'll be sitting in the room when Olivia asks Betsy to go to such-and-such and then, "Oh, yeah Amanda if you're free you should come to." That is worse then not being asked at all.
I just want to go home, but home is starting to not really be home anymore. I suppose those of you who are about 23-ish can relate to that time in life when your home (i.e. your parent's house) starts to no longer become home. I mean you can go there, but it really isn't the same anymore. I feel that way and I hate. Okay, no more babbling....I need to get back to work...
-Mandy-
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| Where do you see yourself in 20 years?Quite the loaded question if you ask me and my pre-law school advisor did just that yesterday. I could hardly make shit up quickly enough so as to not automatically open my mouth and say, "How the fuck would I know?"
However, ever since yesterday and to be honest even years before that I had started thinking about that question. Though I realized today that I never thought I'd be 23 and still not have an answer. I had an idea yesterday when asked, but life after college and beyond law school hadn't seemed real. Now I'm being told to decide because it will determine where and what I'll be doing for the net 20 years. I can hardly plan my day most of the time, how can I plan for the next 20 years? I don't know.
The funny thing is that until last school year I had the answer to that question, but I as of last semester realized my future wasn't my own. I had wanted to be a doctor since I know what a doctor was. I however didn't plan on having a learning disorder in math called Dyscalulia. And so my dream of med school became not an impossiblity, but stayed just that....a dream.
Now I have decided on international studies as my major and a minor of spanish. My advisor told me though to think of taking a double major of both or whatever else I'd like. My head spins! I planned on law school being hard, but I didn't plan on a double major beforehand to burn me out. Though I suppose if I get burnt out I could always just go to grad school instead of law school.
But then the million dollar question comes sneaking back.... where do you see yourself in 20 years?
I know where I don't see myself. I don't see myself working my ass off and not making over $100,000. I don't see myself not married or without children. I don't see myself living in Michigan.
The things I'd like to be doing 20 years from now though are such opposites of one an other. I want to live out of suitcase and travel like crazy, but at the same time I don't want to if I can't share it with Jarrett. I'd love to have children, but at the same time I don't want children to mess-up the house I'll have or ruin any sex life I have going, or stop me from travelling at the drop of hat, or having to trade a sports car in for a mini-van or becoming the frumpy mum type. I want to live in the city, but at the same time have a house in the suburbs or country.
Fuck, I don't know.... I suppose the up side is I have until tomorrow to decide... RIGHT!! LOL
-Mandy-
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