maniacmarie's Xanga

Friday, June 30, 2006

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 00:48:09 GMT

my old favorite song. so good its on here twice! =)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

boredom + insanity + lack of sleep =

i have no idea what i was thinking, but it was 6am, so i dont think i was thinking.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 21:50:34 GMT

i love these babies!!!!

not babies anymore! but arent they cute.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Wed, 17 May 2006 00:11:17 GMT

i need a hug.

edit.
i spent a grueling total of 6 hours at the dentist getting my fillings done. and you know whats crazy? he said i barely had any cavities!

and you know what else?
he said i have the most petite jaw he's ever seen which causes problems with my teeth growing. adults are supposed to have like 30-something total teeth and i only have 24. thats bc my molars havent grown yet bc my jaw is too small and there is no room for my molars to grow. they are still in my root just like how wisdom teeth are, and that means i have to pull them out just like theyre wisdom teeth. not only that, i already have to pull out all my molars (6) and 3 wisdom teeth. the molars will have to be treated like wisdom teeth, since it's under my gums so it'll hurt as much as wisdom teeth. and thennnn, he's not even going to be doing the pulling. i have to go somewhere else where they have an oral surgeon, bc the operation is so complicated that it might do damage to my jaw. if i had a choice i dont think id get any of them pulled out..but i have to. if i dont, the dentist said it'll cause infection. yup. this sucks. i'm scared. and i'm going to die.

that explains why i talk so stupid, and why i eat so slow and why i had braces, but my teeth are still crooked. bc my damn mouth is too small.

:(

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Thu, 04 May 2006 23:06:32 GMT

just got home from a long, tiring day at my grandma and grandpa's.

i go over to clean their house every week. it's more of a mess than you would think. they're so old..almost hitting 90 and they can barely even move. my grandma can't even stand up without her walker. every walk is so slow and small. she can hardly walk much less cook and clean. it hasnt always been this way. they were fine cooking and cleaning themselves all my life, but theyve gotten so helpless and weak.

everytime i go there, i feel sad. they've lost so much freedom. once i took them to the doctor and timed how long they took to get into the car. 15 minutes. i look at them and think, mannn they used to be my age before and didnt have to worry about anything.

i clean everything. from their dishes, to cabinets, to mopping and sweeping, vacuuming, the bathroom, dusting, wiping, and taking out their trash. i even apply medicines and ointment on their backs and clip their nails. they cant do it themselves anymore and if i dont do it, no one else will.

today, i was vacuuming and my grandma had disappeared out of the room. we went to go look for her and found her in the closet, on the floor. she was getting us sua do nanh drinks which was in the closet. my poor grandma. shes so helpless. its so much work for them just to get to the next room, and then she can barely even stand so she lands on the floor. they're such helpless souls. i just want to help them.

right now i am sad about everything. everyone. people dont realize how much good they have. people dont realize how bad they treat things.

happy bday joe!

Tue, 02 May 2006 20:34:18 GMT

i've got a lot on my mind.

i used to think there was so much good in the world, but ive grown wiser. ive learned that evil has outweighed the good. (well thats what i think) no matter how much good a person does, is it ever enough? why do things seem to circumvent right where it started? everybody has problems but some people are so fucking stupid and selfish. i'm not talking about anyone in particular. i'm talking about society as a whole! why do people seek revenge? why the hell do people always dwell. why the hell do people hurt people on purpose? especially if they care about that person. why are we such hypocrites? what happened to all the good?

need ice cream.

once in a blue moon i go "clubbing."
stolen from liz.

miss too short aint too short with them heels now!

edit.
stolen from joan.

me, tina, and joan. tina has always been the most grown up cutest girl ive known since i met her and she still is!! and joan still got them sexy red lips. heeee

i noticed i always put my arm up in the air around my chest. why is that?

another edit!
got an A on my research paper. the only A in the class. YES!

Friday, April 28, 2006

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 01:42:25 GMT

well today was quite eventful.

- saw my dad fall off a big tree.
- went to see my grandparents.
- cleaned my grandparents house for 2 hours (hell).
- oc.

damnit marrisa was wearing my coveted chanel dress to her prom that i've been secretly planning to wear when i get married one day! haha. i was trying to keep it inside, until marrissa just haddddd to wear it on the oc gosh darn it.

i would look so good in this. (sigh)

Monday, April 24, 2006

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 19:35:19 GMT

today, the english teacher picked on me again saying, "marie! you made one of the highest grades on the novel exam!"
me: (blushing) "REALLY? COOL!!!!"
teacher: "yea!! did you really like the novel or something?"
me: "uhhh i guess i just studied well?"
students in the background: "we should be sitting next to her."

then again..

teacher: "marie, was that ur mom that dropped you off this morning?"
me: "haha yea!"
teacher: "i was right behind her and omggosh you were walking sooo slowwww, and then she made a U and i was thinking 'oh god dont make a U just go forward'"
me: "haha what?!? i thought i was walking pretty fast! (ppl laughing in background) (i even told myself to walk fast that morning too bc i saw cars behind me)"

while passing out novel exam.
teacher: "how did you get such a good grade marie???!"
me: "goshhh i dunno? i guess i just understood the book"

i looked at my paper and i made a 99 baby.
it was the same test that took me 2 hours to take (its an 1hr 20 min class), and its the same class where i was the last person finished.

teachers just love giving me 99's.
sociology final: 99
english 1 research paper: 99
english 1 final: 99
novel exam: 99
i kinda hate getting a 99. its only one point from a freaking 100.

yes. good grades always highlight my day.

trying something different

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 00:17:46 GMT

i have a weakness for female voices.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:36:27 GMT

you made the wrong choice.

nothing gold can stay.

i just found out my mom has osteoporosis. it didn't hit me until i saw the presciption pills. so does my aunt. and it's hereditary. my poor mother.. it made me think how old my parents are getting. they're finally starting to get along. they've been doing some yard work. making a little garden in the front yard together. haha. it's a cute little garden. everytime she drives past it she smiles. which makes me feel a little happy yet sad too. i feel bad for them..they're just getting so old. and it just doesn't seem like they really lived. if you know what i mean. ugh. it's getting me so depressed. when i'm old i can picture myself just like my mom making a little garden. it's about time for me to intake more calcium and take vitamins and the dreaded exercise. oh god.

today in volleyball a boy said i look like a porcelain doll which shocked me bc its volleyball! hello! i wear sweats and look ugly in that class. yep, his exact words were 'porcelain doll' haha. it was a cool feeling bc you all know how i love looking like a doll.

all that glitters is not gold

i used to think that was just a badass song from le tigre until i discovered that it came from a verse shakespeare wrote entitled 'all that glisters is not gold.' if you read between the lines it means, things that appear on the surface to be of great value may be quite worthless. tis true aint it. some people are so materialistic, so absorbed in their own world. so selfish. yet so ignorant.

so what is valuable?

excuse me for getting all poetic and crap. i've changed in ways. grown great knowledge and a great mind but i've always been opinionated. a bit cynical. instead of having no thought or feeling towards anything, or just agreeing with everyone, i exam it now. i question things now. actually, i've always been questioning things. i always have questions. i always want answers. but isnt that what makes an intelligent mind? am i just going damn crazy or something? or am i just growing up. don't know. don't care.

it is awfully easy to be hard boiled about everything in the day time, but at night it is another thing.

Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.

You see I am trying in all my stories to get the feeling of the actual life across - not to just depict life - or criticize it - but to actually make it alive. So that when you have read something by me you actually experience the thing. You can't do this without putting in the bad and the ugly as well as what is beautiful. Because if it is all beautiful you can't believe in it. Things aren't that way.

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?

-all Ernest Hemingway

i've been influenced by this man. or maybe i just know how he feels. i should get myself a journal instead of writing (or rather typing) all this. it's better to read it inside a book and feel the pages that way.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 21:27:17 GMT

YAY! IT'S MY SAILORS BIRTHDAY TODAY!

even though he's probably not going to see this, i'm finally going to talk about him. ha ha.
i never thought in 98746541651312 years that i would end up with him but he sure did change that. i never expected him to be so sweet and affectionate. i never expected him to be the needy one and always want to talk to me and have me around. (sometimes i get so tired of him ha ha) but i like it. =) i haven't seen him in 3 months. when he goes to active duty, i might not even talk to him for 3 months. waiting is tough stuff. but i can do it bc i'm a big girl

and i love bands that play classical music. such as muse. i'm always going to love muse. ever since i discovered them a couple years ago. his pure voice and immaculate production take me back so much, it could probably shatter ice. it could probably make you cry. it does something to my heart. lifts it up or something. oh i love it.

The virtue of the camera is not the power it has to transform the photographer into an artist, but the impulse it gives him to keep on looking. -Brooks Anderson