pet peeve: it really irritates me when people assume things or hear things and then spread the gossip. if you didn't hear it directly from the source or see it with your own eyes then shut the f'ck up lol. no one cares! what really bugs me is when it happens in the corporate world. c'mon people! you're old enough to work, get paid and pay your bills, don't you think it's about time you leave high school behavior in the past where it belongs.

lol i sound angry...but i'm not. just annoyed but i feel better now that i got it out =)

This is for you...my last words to ever be spoken about you, now and forever <3

when we 2 parted in silence and tears. with both broken hearts remaining for years. pale was my face and colder my kiss. no hour yet held more sorrow than this. the sun the next morning did not warm my brow. it felt like a warning for what i feel now. your promises broken by the one you became. i hear your name spoken and share in its shame. long do our roots go the world was blind. if they had looked closer true love they would find. they know not i knew thee. i knew thee so well. and so long will the pain last too deeply to tell. in silence we met so in silence i grieve, that your heart could forget and your soul could deceive. so now should i meet you after a few years, i can only greet you with silence and tears.

I definitely forgot about this site until today bored at work i decided to check it out to see if my job blocked it. it's probably  the only thing left that hasn't been blocked besides facebook. i wish i still had access to myspace. it's like parental control all over! myspace and gmail used to make my day fly by so quickly. it blows that adulthood-work, bills, & etc- sucks!

anyway...life is alright. it could be better if i knew what i wanted to do. i'm still thinking about law school yet i cant get myself to pick up the lsat book and study. i hated my job so i got a new one =). i can't wait to start next year. i really hope that this new job will be that something that i need to start changing things. my current job made me miserable and it just sucks to work with people that suck. i also finally got my permit! yes i'm 22 and i just got it lol. i really didn't need it until i got the new job that's al the way in dover. i already know what car i want- a white 2004 acura rsx. everyone is telling me to get a POS car for my first but it's not like i'm 17 and have no job. i'm an adult, an engineer =), and i'm pretty responsible so i think i should get a car i like. if i fuck it up then i fuck it up. it's only a car. i mean it's not even the car that i really want to get the G35 or the lexus hard back convertible!

lately i've been trying little by little to place the pieces of my life together. trying to take the negative and things that bring me down out of the picture, including friends that aren't good for me. i have a lot of friends but i'm realizing that not everyone can be your best friend. speaking of friends, my childhood best friend moved back to astoria and we've been hanging out all the time. i'm so glad she moved back and it's like we never left each other's side. i wish it would have happened sooner..maybe then we could have been there for each other's heart breaking moments and i don't just mean heart breaks from guys. i def got off on a tangent but basically i'm taking baby steps to get things back on track. i remember when i was 17 i swore i knew everything. i had goals and plans! i knew exactly where i wanted be and what i wanted to do with the rest of my life. somewhere i lost that and i'm taking baby steps to get back on track. i know i can't plan everything and i'm def far from knowing everything but i'm just trying to get some order. i tried this week to get my love life together and i just came to the same conclusion as b4 i'm def way too young to get serious with some1 that wouldn't be worth it. i'm not going to settle for anything less than butterflies.

basically, i'm taking baby steps and i'm making plans. i have goals...law school hopefully  b4 2008 in europe =) and much more!

I'm that state of mind lately..that blah mood. Soo much has gone down since I last wrote anything in my xanga....not in the mood to explain maybe another time

Wow, it’s been ages since my last update. I guess I’ve just been too caught up in the mix. Being back at school, just realizing how much work I'm in for and the fact that this year is probably going to be the biggest turn over for me. I mean it’s this year I have to decide what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I’m so trying to avoid it…maybe become a professional student... yea I think grad school is what’s next on my list. I mean who wants to work? the salary is good but 9-5 or whatever is not cool. 2 weeks vacation sucks. Cubicles blow! Not that studying is any better.  Senioritis has plagued me for years... I don’t think I cured it from HS.

Well I’m enjoying it while it lasts. I went out on Friday, some place in the city, light lounge or something. Everyone and their mother were there from Stevens. It might as well just been a frat party on campus. The free hour of “top shelf” was nice except it wasn’t top shelf. I made the most of the 30 mins I was there for it. It was def a crazy a crazy night... don’t remember much except we ended up going home in a limo…u know we’re kind of a big deal around here  jk.

It’s kind of weird being here because sometimes I feel like I never left but other times I realize how much things have change or better yet how much I’ve changed and how my view on life and certain people have changed too. They say when you see the world; you become cultured and see the bigger picture. Everyone says it's a good experience, a growing one…and it definitely is… but it’s hard to go back to your old ways and hang out with the same old people. Maybe I’m still experiencing the return shock or whatever it’s called.  Maybe I’m just crazy