im not ready..

im sorry..
i guess,
im not ready..
im not ready to commit,
not ready to give up anything.
not ready to face reality.
not ready to wake up.
not ready to stop running.
running from what?
i dunno?

im just running,
running away from everything.
i haven't been myself.
i know.
and im sorry.

im not emo.
pettytin wld beg to differ.
but i really aint.
im just not ready.

smtimes,
i feel like the whole world is on me.
i guess,
in some ways,
i prefer running.
not physically,
but mentally.
from everything.
and its gets tiring.
and i wanna find my escape.
somewhere where i dont have to please anybody.
where i can be myself,
and no one cares.
i can laugh my head off,
cry when i feel like it,
and never have to force myself to do anything.
it gets tiring pleasing everyone everyday.
to put on a smile,
to move all those muscles.
sometimes,
i really just wanna give up.

im sorry i've been switching off my phone the last two days,
i guess.
thats my way of running away,
of escaping.
i just wanna run till i find a place where i can find shelter in okie?

im sorry.
sorry KHAI,
sorry everyone.
sorry mummy for screaming at you.
im sorry.

im just gonna upload some past photos and log off.

 





 
 





i swear i miss smiling sometimes.

LOVE.

one more day.. the last lap.

i love my brother. <33!
even though he can be such an ASS at times. ((:


okie. exams are like SO gonna be over.
i hope they end quicker.
supposed to be studying,
but then,
the thought of after exams are like KILLING me.
i really wanna go out!! )):
TOMORROW I AM OKIE.
its just wat we're gonna do,
where im gonna go,
and with whom im going out with.
tsk.

anws,
gonna upload some pics now! ((:
though the uploader thing's kinda screwed,
i managed to save some pics!
 
tough decisions i have to make.
lol.

the hardworking bees at work.

PROOF I STUDIED okie.
MY WITNESSES!
i kinda "studied" with them.
lol.

bernice says i look like a pontiana in this one.
dont comment.
seriously.
NOT INTERESTED!


i love my family! ((:

anws,
gonna die for ss and lit.
hmph.
im such a sucker at running marathons.
especially life marathons.
cos all i've ever done is run,
but in the wrong directions.
i run in the opposite directions.
to avoid everything.
im a sucker at life. ((:

OH OH!
anyone wants CHEMISTRY or PHYSICS tuition?
im not gonna give you,
dont worry.
its a fren of mine!
he charges $25 an hr! willing to meet you where ever you want?
lol.


what is left in life if i didnt have you?

when six songs collide.
LOVE.

you'll always be my baby..

you know,
last night was like TOTALLY SCREWED UP.
like REALLY.
stupid lightning and thunder so flashy and noisy.
EEDIOT.
i cldnt sleep well thanks to that and an idiotic someone.
im sure you know who YOU are.

oh.
btw,
thanks DICKLESS for lending me your notes and textbooks!
hope it'll help la.

i tried studying just now.
no shit.
gonna die already.
lol.
physics is a bore.
i managed to scan through 7 chps of physics using both mine and dickless's,
and take down formulaes and all that,
hmm..
not bad mariko.
just that you have another wat,
12 MORE TO GO?!!
im SO gonna die.
and im wasting my time xanga-ing.
smart move.
omg!
TALKING TO MYSELF HERE!
Lol.

PETTYTIN IS AN ASS.
gimme a thumbdrive you SCROOGE!
you have TWO.
i want the cute one!
you can keep the rough one! ((:

anws,
gonna maybe try studying,
though my eyes might disagree.
i mean,
LOOK AT THE TIME.
lol.
reminding me of ALICE IN WONDERLAND!
with the white rabbit.
watched a part of it just now.
i still dont get the whole plot of the story.
but i rmb i used to be really scared of it and get nightmares watching it.
hope i get a GOOD sleep tonight! ((:

I LOVE THE VERSION OF "ALWAYS BE MY BABY"!!!
cant get it out of my head!
OMG la.
he sang it WAY better than mariah carey.
not insulting her.
and im not changing my mind about ARCHULETA winning!
oh..
BUT..
NO!
ARCHULETA's GONNA WIN okie! ((:

lol.

LOVE.

i ain't gonna cry no
and i won't beg you to stay
if you're determined to leave boy
i will not stand in your way
but inevitably you'll be back again
cause ya know in your heart babe
our love will never end

Currently Listening In Love With A Girl see related

omg... EMOness is lurking around..

well..
i obviously CANNOT stand people being emo.
and i know that you, BERNICE KOW,
is being an emo shitzz now.
STOP IT ah!
POSITIVE THOUGHTS POSITIVE THOUGHTS GIRL!

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY THOUGHTS!

omg.
cheered myself up already!


anws,
today,
about 10 ppl didnt come to sch?
WHICH INCLUDES THAT SHIT HEAD MELODY LIM!
EEDIOT.

last night never tell me not coming to school.
then still tell ashlyn she's coming to sch.
I HATE YOU MELODY.



hope you ROT at home.
hmph!

anws,
DICKLESS, PETTYTIN!
YAY for you guys.
exams finally over.
barker is DAMN screwed la.

my exams are next weekkkk.....
its so near yet so far..
i want it to come quickly so it'd end ASAP,
but i havent prepared myself for it..


anws.
yesterday was DAMN FUNNAYE!
like we were just gossiping in class,
cracking jokes about ashlyn!
LOVE HER! <3
today JO's not here too.. T.T
shit her too.
now im gonna DIE of boredom.
no one to crack jokes with.

anws,
LOVE this new song.
but im gonna change the lyrics a bit! ((:

I'm in love with a boy who knows me better,
Fell for the guy just when i met him,
Took my sweet time when i was bitter,
Someone understands,
And he knows how to treat a girl right,
Give me that feeling every night..

P.S. the song's called I'M IN LOVE WITH A GIRL by GAVIN DEGRAW

LOVE.

Currently Listening Jailhouse Rock/Love Me Tender By Elvis Presley see related

DAVID ARCHULETA IS THE HOTTESTTTT!!

HE IS DAMN HOT!
i swear.
okie.
maybe,
like boy boy HOT.
BUT STILL,
HOT.
READ THIS.
H-O-T.

i really LOVE him.
even made a bet with JO JO that he'll win okie.
and that JASON wateva,
he looks good,
BUT NO VOICE.
so wats the use if he joins AMERICAN IDOL.
AMERICAN IDOL is for singers,
not good lookers..
EEDIOT.
bcos of him,
BROOKE WENT OUT.
and she's not THAT bad..
like HONESTLY.

but ARCHULETA is gonna win.
so WHO CARES?!!
lol.

OH NO!
WISHING DIVYA and CHARISSA LOO HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! ((:

sorry i was mean to you. ><

LOVE.