"So, the first weekend of December is pervert weekend.  And without fail, it rang true this year.  Lemme start with this: the verb for masturbate is "correrse."  So I'm walking down the block of my school, I'm on the left, Jessica is to the right of me, and Ashley is to the right of her.  All of a sudden, like out of a creepy movie, we see this dude masturbating in a doorway.  My city sense turned right on and I kept walking and started screaming at him.  Jessica and Ashley were traumatized.  Jessica wouldn't even believe it.  She was like, "Maybe he just finished peeing and was shaking it off."  I was like..."I'm pretty sure there was a bathroom behind that doorway."  Then something even more disturbing happened...all these small schoolchildren, like five or six years old, come down the block.  There's a children's school right on that corner and then Jessica realized he was a pedophile!!!!!! 

 

So we stood there for a while not knowing what to do, and decided to go into the school to tell the director of IUS because that's not right.  I see him coming downstairs and say, "Un hombre estaba corriendose por la calle."  Director: "Corriendo? O CorriendoSE?"  All of us: "SE!"  So he said he was gonna call the cops, but the point is that was some fucked up shit."