The opposite sex, relationships, and getting older

Survey from the past...

So taking a look back when I started Xanga, I came across this survey I completed. I didn't like the survey except the first part, so that's what I'll redo. :)

I SEE? a bag of eaten Sun Chips, drunken Minute Maid Orange Juice and my little cubicle with computer at the school library.
I NEED? hmm... actually, I don't think I really need anything right now... nope, not at this moment. That's a first.
I FIND? that I can actually run and get in shape.
I WANT? real relationships and I want to be confident about where I am in life. Some days are better than others though.
I HAVE? great friends and a good life... even if I complain half the time.
I WISH? I was in better shape.
I LOVE? the weather we've having in Atlanta this week and I love days that are just chill but lately I've just been busy.
I HATE? drivers who think they own the road and ignorant people who only think about themselves.
I MISS? my niece Tehya and I miss being young and just playing with friends.
I FEAR? being alone. Not physically, but emotionally... although I know that's just silly.
I FEEL? overworked. Enough said. Haha.
I HEAR? lives going on around me and people typing on their own keyboards. Someone needs to turn their headphone volume down!
I SMELL? nothing? Air...
I CRAVE? my comfy bed with plush pillows... mmmm.
I SEARCH? for meaning in everything... even if it seems stupid.
I WONDER? when I'll have a boyfriend next, let alone a husband. Haha... craziness.
I REGRET? not doing more singing in the past and not picking up a sport when I was a kid. Parents insisted that I not do sports because it would make my shoulders broader and sports that require heavy pounding on the bones would make me shorter. We all see just how far (or how tall) that got me by inhibiting my sports interest. Hah!

Random places to begin...

Let's see, so since I'm using this as a free-association kind of blog thing, I figured I would just start by writing about random things that have been on my mind as of late... since I don't have anywhere else to really start and well, my life is quite uneventful at the moment, haha.

I turned a year older about a week ago and being 26 doesn't feel any different than being 25. Wow, I can't believe that it was about 16 months ago since I last updated my Xanga... my, have things changed since then. I can say that I'm definitely wiser and that I've grown a lot in the past couple of years without even really noticing it. I learned that real friendships don't require the hard work and effort that I've tried and tried so hard to perfect in the past. I even learned that sometimes, things may suck while you're going through them but in the end, in God's time, things start making sense as to why you went through the things you did and then I realize that I wouldn't have it any other way. Sure, there are things I wish I could have done differently in my past but I don't let those things get to me anymore like they used to. I know that I need to persevere and treck through things even though I don't want to because in the end, it'll be worth it. No pain, no gain right?

I know it all sounds so cliche and I sound like a record but all these things are true. Deep down inside, I used to roll my eyes at some of the people who would say these wise words of growth to me but now, I can say I'm starting to understand what all that meant.

On a different note, I think it would be funny to go wayyyy back to when I started Xanga back in... 2002? Holy cow. I think I'm going to take a trip down memory lane and see how far I've come since September of 2002, haha. This should be interesting... maybe sort of like looking at my inner, younger self? Okay, that is what I'll do now... :)

Oh wow... I turned 20 in 2002. My life was so much easier and simpler back then. HAHA. Oh boy, how embarassing... I think reading to the end of 2002 was enough for today, really...

Time to restart...

picture of my goddaughter/niece

one month old...

how precious is that...?

:)