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mashtoes
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Name: Marie
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Los Angeles
Birthday: 7/31/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: God, Faith, Christianity, the Bible and its history, Forensic Science, Theatre and other Performing Arts, good food, especially red meat
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  mashtoes
Member Since:
10/18/2005
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| So...I've decided to go on a few fasts..one of them being an AIM
fast. Lo and behold...the day i started this aim fast, my fone
began pooping out every now and then...but as of today, it is
completely out of business. It's not even like my phone is
broken, or my battery's dead, or I need a new charger....My SIM card,
which, if you don't have cingular, is the memory card that cingular
uses, is broken. Which means, I have lost everyone's numbers
AGAIN, and I cannot make calls, nor can i receive calls, nor can I
receive text messages, nor can I send text messages. So, if
anyone needs to get a hold of me, give me at least a day's notice, and
either do it by email, facebook messaging, or voice message, each of
which i will probably check once or twice a day. :-/....this world is
interesting.
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| I wanna give glory to God!
Here's the convo of me telling Arthur:
mashtoes (3:04:14 PM): God is so friggin good to me
penguinboi329 (3:04:20 PM): lol
penguinboi329 (3:04:26 PM): how so
mashtoes (3:04:33 PM): so...sunday..did i tell u about sunday?
penguinboi329 (3:04:39 PM): no
mashtoes (3:04:52 PM): so..at church, the message was on being real with God
mashtoes (3:05:01 PM): and there was an exhortation to be real with God if you haven't been
penguinboi329 (3:05:06 PM): k
mashtoes (3:05:06 PM): and ...i felt nudged by the Spirit to go
mashtoes (3:05:10 PM): uup front
mashtoes (3:05:15 PM): so i went up front and just knelt down by mysef
mashtoes (3:05:17 PM): myself*
penguinboi329 (3:05:23 PM): k
mashtoes (3:05:24 PM): and i was like..God why am I here
mashtoes (3:05:31 PM): and He was like "tell me what's wrong"
mashtoes (3:05:36 PM): and I said "there's nothing wrong."
mashtoes (3:05:46 PM): and then the words.."Be Real with Me"
mashtoes (3:05:55 PM): and..so i dont know what i was praying exactly
mashtoes (3:06:03 PM): but in like 4 seconds, i was just bawling
mashtoes (3:06:14 PM): and i just cried for like 15 minutes straight
penguinboi329 (3:06:16 PM): lol ok
mashtoes (3:06:27 PM): and...as I was crying, I just realized how I was trying to pretend
penguinboi329 (3:06:28 PM): thats kinda crazy
mashtoes (3:06:29 PM): like I could be strong
mashtoes (3:06:42 PM): and..I am going through struggles
mashtoes (3:06:46 PM): and...I admitted that
mashtoes (3:06:56 PM): but I kept trying to believe that I could handle the struggles with God
mashtoes (3:07:12 PM): and then when I finally started crying, my whole body just felt like it collapsed
mashtoes (3:07:27 PM): and I finally just told God, "I'm tired, this sucks, and I don't know if I can do it."
penguinboi329 (3:07:39 PM): ok...
mashtoes (3:07:45 PM): and then...there's this really cool image that he brought back to me through someone which i'll explain not online
penguinboi329 (3:07:57 PM): k
mashtoes (3:07:58 PM): but..it was an image that he had brought to me even before christmas break
mashtoes (3:08:19 PM): and then as this woman was praying for me (i know her) she was like, i don't know if this is from God but this is what I see.
mashtoes (3:08:32 PM): and she brought up the exact same image that He had given me.
mashtoes (3:08:41 PM): and so...then...Sunday, I finally let it out
mashtoes (3:08:48 PM): all this pent up frustration and weakness that I was feeling
penguinboi329 (3:08:48 PM): k
mashtoes (3:08:56 PM): and it didn't make things better really..but just made things more real
mashtoes (3:09:04 PM): so...I've been asking God a lot of questions
mashtoes (3:09:08 PM): and telling Him how tired I am
mashtoes (3:09:23 PM): and how I've failed with too many things, and I don't see how it can be fixed
mashtoes (3:09:34 PM): and one of those things was my time management..i booked my week insanely.
mashtoes (3:09:43 PM): and so..pretty have no free time this week
mashtoes (3:09:54 PM): pretty much*
penguinboi329 (3:10:00 PM): huh
mashtoes (3:10:06 PM): pretty much*
mashtoes (3:10:09 PM): have no free time this week
penguinboi329 (3:10:25 PM): gotcah
mashtoes (3:10:29 PM): And i told God that I'm giving Him control over my time, since i've been so selfish with it and ended up screwing up
mashtoes (3:10:45 PM): and so, yesterday, i was writing out my schedule for today
penguinboi329 (3:10:45 PM): lol
mashtoes (3:10:51 PM): and basically, my free time was 9-12
mashtoes (3:10:53 PM): am
mashtoes (3:10:59 PM): 9 am to 12pm
penguinboi329 (3:11:06 PM): ok
mashtoes (3:11:08 PM): and then, going straight from 12-11, literally no break
mashtoes (3:11:15 PM): except for 10 minutes btwn classes
mashtoes (3:11:19 PM): but otherwise, booked solid
penguinboi329 (3:11:33 PM): thats ridiculous
mashtoes (3:11:47 PM): and as i wrote this out, i was like "God i'm so tired.. i don't want strength. i'm sick of trying to be strong when i'm not."
penguinboi329 (3:12:04 PM): k
mashtoes (3:12:08 PM): and He said "where you are weak, I am strong." and i had no clue what he was really referring to.
mashtoes (3:12:29 PM): Then, just right now..like 2:50-ish..i wasn't supposed to get out til 3:20
mashtoes (3:12:32 PM): then had class at 3:30
mashtoes (3:12:36 PM): but..i got out at 2:50
mashtoes (3:12:44 PM): so..i was like..im gonna check my email
penguinboi329 (3:12:51 PM): k
mashtoes (3:13:06 PM): and i check, and pretty much, my class which the professor said would never be cancelled...
mashtoes (3:13:13 PM): his wife got the flu and for some reason he can't come today
mashtoes (3:13:16 PM): so it got cancelled
mashtoes (3:13:19 PM): 1 1/2 hr. class
penguinboi329 (3:13:22 PM): cool
mashtoes (3:13:26 PM): and i was like..wow..cool God..1 1/2 free
mashtoes (3:13:30 PM): then...i check my email again
mashtoes (3:13:32 PM): 2 min later
mashtoes (3:13:42 PM): and lilibeth sends me this email cancelling on our meeting tonight
mashtoes (3:13:47 PM): so..that's another 1 1/2
penguinboi329 (3:13:49 PM): ok
penguinboi329 (3:13:59 PM): cool
mashtoes (3:14:01 PM): ..so basically..i've just been given 3 hrs ...plus this 1/2 hr right now
penguinboi329 (3:14:22 PM): cool
mashtoes (3:14:28 PM): and the coolest thing is, as i sat down to check my email
mashtoes (3:14:34 PM): i was just thinking.."God this sucks."
mashtoes (3:14:42 PM): which is why i say God is too good to me
penguinboi329 (3:14:55 PM): that was a long story
penguinboi329 (3:14:56 PM): lol
mashtoes (3:15:01 PM): sorry.
mashtoes (3:15:05 PM): i had to give background
penguinboi329 (3:15:07 PM): lol np
penguinboi329 (3:15:09 PM): it was good | | |
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