Teresa Rodriguez, Your ideal job is a Mad Scientist.

Daniel: So what's the problem, Sammy-o? Is it just Mum or is it something else? Maybe... school - are you being bullied? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues at all?
Sam: You really want to know?
Daniel: I really want to know.
Sam: Even though you won't be able to do anything to help?
Daniel: Even if that's the case, yeah.
Sam: OK. The truth is actually... I'm in love.
Daniel: Sorry?
Sam: I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Daniel: Aren't you a bit young to be in love?
Sam: No.
Daniel: Oh, OK, right. Well, I'm a little relieved.
Sam: Why?
Daniel: Well, you know - I thought it might be something worse.
Sam: [incredulous] Worse than the total agony of being in love?
Daniel: Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony.

-love, actually.

‘This Shit Is Bananas’
A probing analysis of Gwen Stefani’s ‘Hollaback Girl’

by GREG STACY



Gonna get a touchdown,
gonna take you out
Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl” is one of the most baffling pieces of music of the modern age. It’s got something to do with cheerleaders—that much is clear, judging from the chanting and the marching band that’s honking and tooting in the background. Beyond that, good luck deciphering the song’s ambiguities. We were so vexed by the mystery that is “Hollaback Girl” that we have devoted countless hours to its study. Our conclusions are below. The first thing you should know, though, is that Gwen is not singing “I ain’t no Harlem fat girl”—at least, we don’t think she is.

Uh huh, this my shit
Gwen is introducing us to her shit.

All the girls stomp your feet like this
This talk of shit and stomping has nothing to do with actually stepping on feces. But what does it mean? From a reading of the later text, we can conclude that the song takes place in the world of high school athletics, and that Gwen is apparently leading the girls in a calisthenics exercise. The “shit,” we surmise, is what she calls the exercises she’s teaching the other girls.

A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Here, Gwen exhorts the girls to try harder as they jog around the track, reminding them that physical fitness is “not just gonna happen,” but must be worked at.

Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl
These lines are the most confusing, but their meaning will become clearer later.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shit
Gwen repeats this four more times. She wants to make sure that we are well acquainted with her shit.

I heard that you were talking shit
And you didn’t think that I would hear it
Gwen has been the victim of some slanderous high school gossip, and she doesn’t appreciate it. Gwen is 35 years old sliding into MILF status at this point, but we’ll grant her some poetic license.

People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up
So I’m ready to attack, gonna lead the pack
Gwen is going to round up a “posse” of her girlfriends and retaliate against the person who’s been talking “smack” about her.

Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out
Gwen is going to beat up the person who wronged her, after she completes the cheerleading routine that will inspire the football team to score a touchdown. Gwen has interesting priorities.

That’s right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up
It seems the entire cheerleading squad is going to beat up the person who spoke ill of Gwen; they have put down their pom-poms, and they are now “fired up” to exact swift and terrible vengeance on Gwen’s behalf.

A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl
Gwen is apparently the captain of the cheerleader squad; she is the girl who “hollas” the chants, not one of the girls who simply “hollas” them back. Given that the squad is preparing to beat somebody up on Gwen’s behalf, she’s picked a strange time to remind them that she is their leader and they are her sheep-like followers. Gwen obviously rules her squad with an iron fist.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shit [repeated four times]
Again with the shit.

So that’s right dude, meet me at the bleachers
No principals, no student-teachers
Both of us want to be the winner, but there can only be one
So I’m gonna fight, gonna give it my all
We learn that it was a “dude” who gossiped about Gwen. She challenges him to a fight at the bleachers. If he imagines it will be a fair, one-on-one fight, he is sadly mistaken. Gwen and her aforementioned “pack” will pounce on him like rabid wolves.

Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you
That’s right, I’m the last one standing, another one bites the dust
Gwen’s pack of furious cheerleaders leaves the boy a quivering, bloody heap behind the bleachers for the groundskeeper to discover the next day.

A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl
Having completed their ghastly work, Gwen’s squad members return to the field and resume their cheerleading activities, as Gwen reminds them once more that she is the boss and they are all her bitches.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shit [repeated four times]
By calling her exercise routines “shit,” Gwen is showing us that for all her bravado, the character in this song secretly suffers from profound self-esteem issues. She is a complex antiheroine for an age of changing gender attitudes and expectations.

Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
Here, Gwen steps away from this bloody spectacle for a moment to comment on the madness and ugliness of what we’ve just witnessed, and, by extension, the petty rivalries of high school in general. This shit is bananas, Gwen tells us, and we can only agree. And lest we miss the point, she spells it out. And repeats it another three times.

A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl
Back on the field, Gwen is still bullying the squad to carry out her routines. But now we see her in a new light, as the sad, lost creature she truly is.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shit [repeated four times]
As the song fades out, Gwen is left only with her “shit,” the mindless exercises that bring her no comfort from the raging emptiness within. As much as she “hollas,” no one hears her cries for help

updates:

it's nikki's birthday. and i love her a lot.

my job = excellence.

bonnie + me = awesomeness. we went to the mall and saw kyle and blake and had lunch with them. they are hilarious indeed. then we continued on our journey of the mall. it was amazing to say the least.

hmm what else? i have 7 new purses curtesy to my grandmother with a purse fettish almost as bad as mine.

if i want to play for my soccer team, i have to "want" it and i have to play hard every game (even though my coach told me i did..hmm..going in circles?) for the people on our team who are using soccer to get into college. well... no shit.

concert on the 25th. im excited. unfortunately.. i'll be with my 8 year old sister and mother. awesome? i think not.

i saw star wars 3. even though i knew it was enevitable that the cute little kid was going to grow up into evil monster guy.. it depressed me. 1) why did samuel jackson's character just kill the damn scary guy when he had the chance? 2) why didn't natalie portman DO something? jesus! 3) why did moulin rouge hottie kill the soon-to-be darth vadar ALL THE WAY. urgh. poor hot guy.

i also saw mr. and mrs. smith. it was hilarious and i plan on buying it as soon as it comes out on dvd. brad pitt has never been hotter.

long entry to hold you all off. i'll be back in.. two weeks? lol love yaaaa.

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Currently Watching Garden State By Zach Braff, Peter Sarsgaard, Natalie Portman see related

I watched garden state with bonnie. we ate queso, kitkats, and ben and jerry's icecream topped with lifesaver gummies. excellent. we played scrabble. i owned it. no cheating involved. i swear.  

I have a party to get ready for.

It's time to grow up, ladies and gentlemen.

ps. I'll be updating like... never due to the fact that i indeed have a job and that im not on the computer that much anymore. but im sure like.. 3 of the people who read this actually care. hahaha.

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what the hell is legends of the hidden temple? I totally remember watching are you afraid of the dark. the swing creaking back and forth in the opening song creeped me out times a million.

i LOVE summer.

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"What Star Wars Character Are You?"

Well this week has been excellent. My stars war character basically sums it up. here's some recaps:

- I had lots of drugs. woo hoo that's always fun.

- I drank so much smirnof i barfed.

- I lost my virginity.

- I cheated on every single exam.

hey dad, is that what you were looking for? thanks for promising not to read my xanga to mom and me but once again broke your promise. how cool of you.

anyways.. im going to miss all my westies. keep in touch!!